I Think I'm In Love

One again, not so long. But it came to me today, after an incident Hope you like it! Please! Comment! I love your opinions! And any suggestions! I'm open to anything! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


I think I'm in love,
But I'm not quite sure,
Never have I been in before,
It's a very exclusive club you see,
It never used to be for me,
I used to sit around all day,
I never thought love would come my way,
But now it's here,
For who knows how long,
I won't be able to keep it forever,
I'm not so strong,
But hopefully in my grasp it'll stay,
Atleast until this time next May,
I think I'm in love

I love the rythm and beat. I have a few things I would change, but I love it.

I think I'm in love, When I first read this I thought this poem was going to be all lovey-dovey, but it is awesome!
But I'm not quite sure,
Never have I been in before, hmm this doesn't sound right. It breaks the flow. Maybe: I never have been before,
It's a very exclusive club you see, I love this part you give it a diffrent angle
It never used to be for me,
I used to sit around all day,
I never thought love would come my way,
But now it's here,
For who knows how long,
I won't be able to keep it forever, For a moment again I thought it was going to be all romantic, but with the last three lines you gave it a light touch
I'm not so strong,
But hopefully in my grasp it'll stay,
Atleast until this time next May,
I think I'm in love

Hope I helped,

A. S.

Hi there books! Okay, so, I’m not the best poetry reviewer, but I’m doing my best to learn. And what better way to do that then to practice…on you!

Never have I been in it before,.
For It's a very exclusive club you see,.

The little changes I made are really only suggestions but these two lines seemed very awkward to me. I kept thinking, man, I must have misread it.

Otherwise, this theme is definitely a fun twist on one that is much more common (those icky lovie dovie poems. Blech.)

Something that I was curious about is that the only punctuation marks you used were commas. Was this intentional or was it something else? Just curious.

Overall, this is a very nice poem.
Congrats and keep writing!

~lilymoore

Hey there, Heartbrooks.

Ah, yeah, I believe I read this in your blog, if I recall correctly! =D

I really like this poem. Romance/love poems are kind of common, but this one seems unique and just...different, hahah.

I think everyone else pointed out the mistakes already though, so I won't repeat! Lovely job and keep it up.

~Heather

I think I'm in love...with this! haha it's really good.

I like the rhymem scheme and how you interperet that love doesn't usually last. You're very truthful about what you write and that's why I love your work. Keep writing!

This was a nice piece.. the rhyme scheme was pleasantly consistent, the tone was subtle and sweet.. overall, a nice gentle piece.

However, I would consider evening out the rhythm in some parts.. as I said, the rhymes were very consistent, but in some lines a third line would have a rhyme in the middle of it to the last line (as confusing as that sounds). This throws off the reader and makes them bitter towards the fourth. The fourth is an outsider. We don't want it there anymore.
If you were to remove that inner rhyme, it would simplify it a great deal, and make us quite happy.

I would also consider expanding the word choice.. simple, day to day words are not a bad thing- that is not what I'm saying at all. But in this piece, I think that a broadened vocabulary selection would help make the phrasing more interesting. Not the poem more interesting, don't misunderstand me. The phrasing more interesting.

Taking everything into account.. great piece. It's simple, it's cute, it's not what I expected in a very good way. Nice piece. c:


Coral