Chapter 12
A pair of shoes stopped at my head. I heard someone light a match. Slowly, with a great deal of effort I opened my eyes. There were small particles and smoke flying across the blue sky over me.
"You gave us quite an amount of work Mr. Andrew. Especially to me of course. After all I have given you and to even get you here. I must say I am disappointed, Mr. Andrew."
I immediately recognized the voice of an old man standing at my side. Fear inhabited my body and I have lost all hopes. Something exploded in the distanced. I didn't even twitch.
"Ah what should we do with you and your friends Mr. Andrew. I don't want to kill you, but ... I will have to. I have enough of you and your little adventures. It has to stop."
I looked up to the old man who brought so much pain in my life. His grey beard was filthy, he had big, dark circles under his eyes and his creases were even deeper than I remembered.
"I am very sorry Mr. Andrew, but it has to be done."
He pulled a long golden dagger with ornaments on the shaft from the depths of his tailcoat.
My eyes grew bigger and all the sounds disappeared. I could only see the point of the dagger that was threatening my life and I was sure, that it would land in my chest in the next few seconds.
But it didn't. He waited. And I begged him in my mind to stab me already from nervousness and fear of death. It was that close, but it didn't want to come.
He stood there and nothing happened. The evening orange shine reflected in the metal of the dagger. Everything stood still.
A dreadful battle cry punctuated the thick atmosphere. I caught a glimpse of a man almost flying trough air. A big kitchen knife went trough the old mans body right in the stomach. He groaned and the golden dagger fell on the floor. He spat some blood. He looked at the giant wound, a knife in his body looking trough on the other side. The old man collapsed on the clean marble floor and stained it with blood, that was now running everywhere. His black tailcoat was covered in red, so was his face. I looked up one last time and saw Zhnora right where the man stood a minute ago. His tired face smiled and that was all I could take. My eyes closed and again I have sunk into darkness.
This other character calls the MC "Mr. Andrew" almost every line. Think about it-- when you have a conversation with someone, how often do you say their name? It's implied who is being spoken to, so all the "Mr. Andrews" are unnecessary and unrealistic.