She doesn’t look at me because
I glance in because it’s a mess. Her tie-dye comforter is spilled on the floor, her wooden blocks are strewn around the carpet and there is a mountain of colourful crayons on her desk.
I guess Mom’s too busy with her work life to bother with cleaning my five year-old sister’s bedroom.
I go into my own room and turn on my computer. It hums quietly and I sit on my purple chair with wheels. I open my messenger and it buzzes with message alerts.
Jenny92: Hey, Sophia! I didn’t see you @ school today. I need 2 talk.
Sophia Lauren: I had to go home right after school. What’s up?
Jenny92: I don’t really know if I should talk to u here...
Sophia Lauren: Please, Jen? U brought it up so...
Jenny92: Fine. I don’t know what to do... I’m so lost.
Sophia Lauren: How so?
Jenny92: I don’t know how 2 go on anymore. The pain is 2 much.
Sophia Lauren: Jenny... Want me 2 go with u 2 the school counsellor?
Jenny92: No. I don’t want that. I can handle it myself 4 now. Just had 2 get it out there.
Sophia Lauren: Okay... But if u need me, I’m here 4 u.
Jenny92: Thank u so much.
JENNY92 IS OFFLINE.
I sign out of my messenger. I wheel around in my chair and stare at the wall. I feel empty inside. If I walk, I’ll fall instantly.
Jenny, the social butterfly whom I ate paste with in Kindergarten, and did manicures with before every school dance was thinking about sleeping in a silver-lined box in the cold ground?
Tears well in the back of my eyes, but they don’t fall. It’s almost like they’re frozen into my eyelids.
I’ll worry about my own troubles later.
The next day, after English, I catch up with Jenny. She looks at me gloomily.
“I’m so sorry that you’re going through so much. If you ever need me, I’m here for you. Remember that.” I tell her sternly.
She smiles weakly. I look into her eyes. They are filled with suppressed emotion, but I know she can’t let it out.
I hug her lightly before I go to class. As I embrace her, she almost breaks down. I can’t stand to see my best friend so broken.