Its We.

Here's a little something I write while thinking about someone. It's not very good compared to some stuff I do, but... its literal therapy

Golden sea. Of soul and heart,
does quench my thirst;
For some of my love, only a part,
But I put it first.

I need you now. But green gates-
Stop my lustful merry way.
She may love me, but she hates,
The things in which I do say.

I stroke her cheek, swish a hair,
nibble her cheekbone, here and there,
Kiss her neck, smooth her side,
no body part, can try to hide.

Because I love her. Her being me.
Me is my heart, which belongs to she.
She is a woman, of individuality.
Don't be silly. Its not me, she or he.

Its WE.

Thank You

I'm not going to pretend I know how to critique poetry, but I did like this.

Quick note, though:

"Its" is possesive. I think you meant "It's we" as in "It is we?" If not, I have no idea what you're talking about. XD

Actually, to be technically correct, I think it might work better as "it's us," but that wouldn't exactly rhyme, now would it?

But yeah. Definitely fix the its/it's thing.

The things in which I do say.

Huh?

I stroke her cheek, swish a hair,

How, exactly, does one "swish a hair?" I don't know what that means. XD

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful!

Lupis

Haha Yeah, swish a hair. you know... slightly off someones cheek? XD

I was saying Its We as a statement. Not a proclomation. Of course it doesn't really make sense... but I didn't want it to.

Thanks anyway

LOVELOVELOVE the rhyming scheme We all know who it's about )
EMillia MAma mie <3

AND FINALLY A CHEERY POEM. You're a brill writer nathan.
Stop stealing my thunder. Fgs, Yws was moine! :'(

-Pages cries in the corner

Ah, ok. I get the hair imagery more now.

But it still should be "it's" with an apostrophe, I think.

I really did like the idea of this, though. I don't know if that came across in my review or not. Especially the third stanza.

See you around!

Lupis

Aww! and yes, I finally write a happy one.

AND DAMN YOU! THE WHOLE YWS DOESNT NEED TO KNOW WHO I LIKE O>>_<<O!!!

You're as good as me, better even.

Okiedokie, Canis

Thanks Alot. AND it could be It's. IT'S up to the personal prefrence

You have two stars. I HATE YOU :")

Oh, stop ya winging! XD

- cries in the metaphorical corner xD

-rubs out corner-

MEANIE! I love that corner. I draw things there somtimes Read the poem biotch

I have you biggot XD