Poets are

poets don't really have a point:
they talk about the curves of lily stems
and those of the women they have filled.
with love-thoughts and strummed tunes
about the things deathless, others not.

they are the artists who paint bluebells
and spring rains on the church steps with terms.
bitter words that web themselves together in patterns.

they are the gardeners of empty thoughts
and fractured hearts. those things that grow like apples,
that are picked too late and taste too sweet.
poets are the hopeless wish-makers,
like candles sitting in dark standing only as a reminder
of what could be.

i thought it was very poignant and well written. Very honest... Maybe its just me, but I thought it could flow a little better. But honestly I see nothing wrong with it. It's great. (:

I've read this twice so far and I'm probably going to read it a few more times before finishing up entirely. My largest complaint: I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to get at.

poets don't really have a point:
they talk about the curves of lily stems
and those of the women they have filled.
filled with love-thoughts and bitter-sweet tunes
about the things deathless, others not.

"Those of the women they have filled" This line left me rather confused - of course until I followed the next one - but I still think you should make this line less difficult where it's at. For example, what is "those" referring to? Curves? And at first the idea of poets filling women with something... well perhaps I'm just too mature to handle this metaphor! You might understand it now. And the line break ending with a period, then going into the same word "filled. / filled" didn't work for me; it added to the confusion and the jarring ness of the poem.

"Things deathless" I don't understand this. What things are deathless? "love-thoughts" isn't a phrase I like and "bitter-sweet" is a cliché. Even if you're trying to show the cliché ways of poets, you yourself should do better than be cliché.

they are the artists who paint bluebells
and spring rains on the church steps with terms.
bitter words that web themselves together in patterns.

"terms" is an ugly word here
"bitter" was used in the previous "bitter-sweet"
And, wouldn't it suit the poem better if you explained just what kind of patterns are being webbed?

they are the gardeners of empty thoughts
and fractured hearts. those things that grow like apples,
that are picked too late and taste too sweet.
poets are the hopeless wish-makers,
like candles sitting in dark standing only as a reminder
of what could be.

Your similes in this stanza gets me rather lost. Poets create purposeless thoughts and broken hearts. But they're also take too late and are ... too sweet? (what's a problem with too sweet? You might have to make this more obvious) They're also hopeless wish makes, which seems contradictory because if you make wishes you generally have hope, so if you mean to say they make wishes with no chance of them coming true, then be sure to make it more apparent. But... anyway. They're hopeless wish-makers which are just like candles in dark rooms representing things that could possibly happen? So there's a possibility of something happen but their wishes are hopeless. You can see how I'm getting lost with this one. You're mixing things around and making the message too complicated.

To the poem as a whole, I first (as I've said) don't know what you mean and don't know what you're trying to say. Second, I feel as though you're stating things that only apply to poets writing about those certain things you mention, not poets as a whole. I'd almost feel this poem would better to be said about poets who write poems to girls who don't love them, or something, which is an awful lot longer, but you get my point. I don't write poems about any of the things you mention. All my poems are dark and gruesome, or personal. They're painful. So you're skipping over poems, and the sweeping generalization is annoying. So, from that, it's a bit insulting (and ironic? ) that you're saying poets are pointless to all the poets of the world.

And perhaps that's what you're getting at.

I could see that there is probably something wonderful and meaningful trying to come out of this poem, it just wasn't executed in the proper manner. My advice would be to figure out exactly what you're trying to say, make it more obvious, and don't muddle the writing waters with too many metaphors and not enough solidity. Perhaps I'm missing the meaning entirely, your ironic point - and if that is the case it still shows that something isn't quite right with the poem. It needs to be resorted some how.

Sorry to rip it out from floorboard to ceiling, but you said I could and I thought it might help you find your track. ^^; You have good writing here, and good ideas, they just don't come together well. Put it away, maybe, and try again. You can make something wonderful, I feel, you just have to be careful about how you do it.

Best of luck!

poets don't really have a point:

So why should I continue to read if it's pointless?

like candles sitting in dark standing only as a reminder
of what could be

Somehow this just jumbles up the entire poem, you're telling us what poets are physically, i think and this just werids it, I have no idea how or why, it just throws it off for me. I am sorry that I cannot be of more help.

See you around, kam kam.

Thanks for the reviews! On thing I'll point out for future reviews (if any) is an emphasis on irony. But then again, it's my first time playing around with this.

Oh Kamas - you said it perfectly yourself! Irony - and here I was, reading the poem, thinking how unbelievable ironic it is that your POEM has a POINT which is to say that 'poets don't really have a point'!!!!

I didn't find the rest of the poem terribly exciting actually - I mean, it was sweet, but less so, since I expected it to be sweet, which took away from the very sweetness you were getting at - juxtaposing poetry with pretty flower descriptions, love, music, art, birds, gardens, heart, fruit, wishes, candles...all these seemed lacking in depth, actually - but maybe that WAS the intention. Even so, it made the poem less interesting to read, if that makes sense.

Anyway, I liked the utter irony of it. But I have to disagree - sometimes, just sometimes, poets do have a point.

hey!!
well straight off with what i think. well i think thst your poem was okay, it was not too good and definitely not bad. well, somewhere in the middle. some parts in the poem got a little confusing for me but i'm sure that if you just looked them over and gave it a little fixing it would be all right. Then, irony. i actually liked the irony and honestly saying,it was the irony of the firt sentence that intrested me enough to keep on reading. but, yeah, sometimes poets do have a point don't they? otherwise why do we even read poems. if it was pointless then why not save our time and skip the poetry? still i say it was good !!

- budding writer

Well I loved it!Well the idea mostly. I saw all of the Irony!The whole thing was ironic to me the structure the mistakes!! I thought it was intentional. As i read i thought,it was genius!If it wasnt a mistake then,Yes,the Rhythm could have been better, That would have,how you say, "Put the icing on the cake." I just want to know what made you think of this?? Your analogy's were kind of weak but i saw what you were getting at. Its why i loved it. I look at the essence. Great Work!

p.s.
you so made a point......and i think i just made a funny! xD

~Lady Kix

This is very sweet and to teh point. Suzanne already got most of my questions but I like the flow and the refereances you made. However, for some reason, the flow of the story doesn't really work well (Or is it just me) and can you please caplaize some letters. For some reason, all small caps bugs me. Great job though!

Ciao!