Diary of A Broken Girl [Chapter Two]

Chapter 2: February 8th

Nothing really worth writing has happened yet. I got a new roommate today, though. Her name is Rebecca and I don’t know why she’s here. No one’s explained that to me.
She’s pretty quiet so far. All she does is sit in her bed, muttering to herself. Something about apologizing to everyone that she’s hurt.
I can’t really say much about her now. It’s too early, I don’t know enough about her to write about her.
The nurse that dishes out meds checks my arms every morning to make sure that I don’t put a razor to my pretty skin.
A little to early for that nurse, don’t you think?

I haven’t heard from my parents in a week. No phone calls, no letters. I think that now that I’m here, they’re making sure that they keep out of touch with me as much as possible.
That’s just their way of dealing with it, I guess.
My parents were never very good with communication. When I was little, they would buy me whatever I wanted, just to shut me up.
They had no time to take care of a child. They were too busy with their own lives.
The cutting is a release for all this pent up emotion. Pent up emotion that I’ve been suppressing for quite a while.
I suppose this damn journal will help my therapist see the world through my eyes, but what do I get out of it?
Hopefully I’ll figure it out.

Here I am again, but now reviewing your chapter 2!!!

Nothing really worth writing has happened yet. I got a new roommate today, though. Her name is Rebecca and I don’t know why she’s here. No one’s explained that to me.
She’s been pretty quiet so far. All she does is sit in her bed, muttering to herself. Something about apologizing to everyone that she’s hurt.
I can’t really say much about her now. It’s too early; I don’t know enough about her I would suggest rewording it to sound like this: "her well enough" so as to avoid repeating the word about. to write about her.
The nurse that dishes out meds checks my arms every morning to make sure that I don’t put a razor to my pretty skin. I like this :]
A little too early for that nurse, don’t you think? I don't understand your idea here. could you make it clearer?

I haven’t heard from my parents in a week. No phone calls, no letters. I think that now that I’m here, they’re making sure that they keep out of touch with me as much as possible. this was worded kind of funky too. Perhaps rephrasing it like this: "they're trying their hardest to keep out of touch with me." I don't know. That one's a toughie.
That’s just their way of dealing with it, I guess.
My parents were never very good with communication. When I was little, they would buy me whatever I wanted, just to shut me up.
They had no time to take care of a child. They were too busy with their own lives.
The cutting is a release for all this pent up emotion. Pent up emotion that I’ve been suppressing for quite a while.
I suppose this damn journal will help my therapist see the world through my eyes, but what do I get out of it?
Hopefully I’ll figure it out. I like this too. It adds a sort of cliff-hanger.

Hello,
I have read the first chapter and didn't quiet put a real review, so here I am to review chapter two I really like this idea. PM when ever chapter three is posted please .

Her name is Rebecca and I don’t know why she’s here.

A comma is needed after Rebecca because you are using the conjunction (and) to combine two complete sentences.

She’s pretty quiet so far. All she does is sit in her bed, muttering to herself, something about apologizing to everyone that she’s hurt.

The second sentence is a fragment I suggest fising this by putting a comma after herself instead of a period and lower casing Something like I have done.

My parents were never very good with communication. When I was little, they would buy me whatever I wanted, just to shut me up.
They had no time to take care of a child. They were too busy with their own lives.
The cutting is a release for all this pent up emotion. Pent up emotion that I’ve been suppressing for quite a while.
I suppose this damn journal will help my therapist see the world through my eyes

I feel as though your MC is too smart. I just learned this in playwriting class. That your character may know too much. For example: My parents may buy me tons of stuff to replace the time they don't spend with me, but I don't know that. I know that they don't spend time with me and I know that I have alot of nice stuff, but I can only suggest as to why they do it. For example: Only a therapist would know why their patient cuts themselves. A person who cuts themself knows that they are hurting and that it feels good(hurts as well) to cut themselves, but the main reason as too why is unknown to them.

my teacher went around the room and asked us what was something about ourselves that we would like to change (not physically): My answer was that I am negative about myself and complain all the time. The teacher said good now do you know why you are this way and I couldn't honestly tell her one reason. She responded with: This is how your character's should be. They shouldn't know more about themselves then how they feel and whats going on in their lives (emotions actions) But the real scientific(if you will) behide it all is unknown to them.

If that didn't make any sense please PM and I'll try to explain it further.

Have a great day (and have fun reviewing other's work as well)
Tiffany