The only things I could think of were some things involving Heaven and... the opposite, and stuff like that. Like when you said a field of liars, made you want to flee, and shadows.
Cant find anything i dont like about this Poem!! Absolutely amazing! Keep writing
"Some say the world will end in fire; Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice." - Robert Frost
I see you really took time to work on this pieces, your constructive english, rhythm and imagery was cool. But what i think you really did not pay attention to what the meaning of your poem is, making it more meaningful and easy to understand by your audience, as an audience i wont want to crack my brain in other to understand what a poem istalking about, i should be able to grasp it at the end of the poem. Any way keep writting the more the better
when the answer to everything is lost then turn to the question in everything, cause everything is the only place you probably have not search
Thanks a lot to all of you =) I deleted one stanza and changed the very last phrase. It should stick to the main theme of the poem and I hope it clears a bit the image of what I'm talking about ^^ It might be still confusing, but I guess that's the way I write for now =S
Again thanks a lot!
~Don't beg for things, do it yourself or else you'll never get anything~ -Formerly Shinda
