Scavenger

I wrote this poem when I was feeling insanely intimidated by a group of students in my class a few years ago.

My master! From the professors of criticism
You, that feasts on rotting prey.
Who eats away my dead confidence,
To reassure your insecurities,
Just ‘cause you can’t hunt.
How can I be of service to you?

Are you going to start with my toes today?
Remind me of how short they are?
Or my physique and how dreadful it looks?
Oh master, how I look forward to your meal,
Your putrefying enjoyment as you feed off me!
Bite after bite, morsel after morsel!

But please Sir, tell me when you’re full,
So that I can lick my wounds for the next day!
I’ll come prepared for the usual.
As usual...

ziggiefred wrote:
My master! From the professors of criticism

Loved this line! One of my favorites in the whole poem!

ziggiefred wrote:Your putrefying enjoyment as you feed off me!

This was another one of my favorite lines.

ziggiefred wrote:But please Sir, tell me when you’re full,
So that I can lick my wounds for the next day!
I’ll come prepared for the usual.
As usual...

I liked this stanza quite a bit, although it was shorter than the others. The last line is okay as is, but I think it could be better...more dramatic if you will.
I did really like this though!

*Applauds*

Hello! My name is Stela! And I'll be reviewing this for you, today!

So, when I read this poem, the first thing I noticed is a bit of a contradiction. You refer to these people as 'scavengers' but then, you call them 'master' and 'sir'. I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from. Was it that, at that point you felt lower than these 'scavengers' that fed off your confidence? However, on the other hand, I'm not sure if you get me, but I found that contradiction absolutely fascinating. Perhaps your tone was sarcastic.

ziggiefred wrote:Oh master, how I look forward to your meal,

This line didn't make sense to me. Why would you look forward to being bullied? Maybe, I'm not reading it properly, but that's what I think. Perhaps you should revise this line.

ziggiefred wrote:You, that feasts on rotting prey.
Who eats away my dead confidence,
To reassure your insecurities,

---> This was beautiful. I absolutely loved it. It perfectly portrays the way that bullies and their victims act. Victims are left with no confidence, while bullies often do it just to reassure their own insecurities, as you said. So I loved it.

Overall, I absolutely loved this! The bullies and the victim were portrayed perfectly, with the bully, a scavenger trying to reassure themselves, and the victim's confidence dying, and 'licking' your wounds. It's a bit like the food chain, where the people bullied are usually at the bottom, then there are those scavengers that try to get to them, because they're different from everyone else. It's an ugly thing and your poem has portrayed it perfectly. Great job!

I like this poem it is really easy to relate to! I like this line "You, that feasts on rotting prey." It sounds like the master is an animal! Good imagery! I also like how you relate humans to wild animals. In the food chain/social chain this is usually what happens. The bigger person/animal picks on all of the little ones!
Keep writing and PM me if you need any reviews!

-KAH

I really enjoyed this poem, and like KAH said, I think we can all relate to it.
I like the double meaning you have within this poem, relating bullies to predators in the wild.

ziggiefred wrote:Who eats away my dead confidence,
To reassure your insecurities,

I really liked this quote because it really is what bullies do, and you also selected great words to put in these 2 lines.

ziggiefred wrote:Are you going to start with my toes today?
Remind me of how short they are?
Or my physique and how dreadful it looks?

I also liked these three lines, because I could really picture this very vividly in my head.
Keep writing,
Jane