My place.

I'm finally alone at last.
It's taken me all day,
to get to the spot where I belong,
the place I long to stay.

The water ripples perfectly.
The turtle heads bob up.
The duck floats gracefully,
nipping at a cup.

Music from behind me,
along with muffled shouts.
They can't see the beauty,
I even have my doubts.

From the tree in which I sit,
a leaf falls to the lake.
And friends climb by the waterfall,
I do hope for their sake.

Birds soar through the air.
They cut it like a knife.
How lucky they are,
to have purpose in this life.

I hear footsteps behind,
none of which for me.
I know where I belong.
Here,
against my tree.

Oh my gosh! Awesomest poem ever! This is better than some of the poems I had to analyze for school! I love the ABCB rhyme thing. Like I have mentioned many times before, I really love rhyming poems! I read it out loud and it has a lot of emotion in it. Not sad emotion, but almost joy or peacefulness. It's a pretty poem. There's nothing wrong with it from what I can see. Good job! Keep it up!

-Emily

Woooooow, this poem is fantastic! I don't really have anything to critique! I can just gush about what I loved. Hahaha. I agree with eab10 when she said that she likes rhyming poems better. I don't exactly like them better but I do really like them. I too like the format you used for rhyming. It is that type of happy-go-lucky peice of poetry that you just need to read every once in a while. Definitely keep writing.
-Jem

Hey there, screamandshout!

So... there was a lot I liked about this poem. My favorite part was

They can't see the beauty,
I even have my doubts.

I liked that because it gave your poem more depth, added an extra layer. The speaker of the poem isn't just like, "This place is really beautiful so I love it." No, she's much more real, more human than that. She (or he) says, "Other people can't see how beautiful this place is, and sometimes I'm not sure I think it's beautiful either." Much more realistic.

One thing that got in the way of my enjoyment of the poem was the forced rhyme. An example:

From the tree in which I sit,
a leaf falls to the lake.
And friends climb by the waterfall,
I do hope for their sake.

"I do hope for their sake?" What does she hope? That they're climbing by the waterfall? The line just doesn't make sense, and it sounds like it has been added solely for the purpose of rhyming with "lake." Rhyme can add a lot to a poem, but a forced rhyme can take away even more. A non-rhyming poem is almost always better than a poem with tons of forced rhymes. No, make that always, I can't think of any that that isn't true of.

Anyway, you've got a good start here, keep working on it!
Good luck!
Sophie

I just realized the part about the waterfall was about me.! Haha. Keep Writing. You are amazing my friend.