A Fight Worth Losing

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This was something I wrote a long time ago, shortly after I had lost the trust of someone I loved very much. Enjoy!
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I've made mistakes
I've done you wrong
All the trust you've placed in me is gone
And there's nothing I can do or say
To take all your pain away


I was a fool to believe in all of those lies
A fool to push the love you gave me aside
And if I could go back in time and change things,
I would


Chorus:
But what's done is done
And the damage remains
Baby, I swear I'll make things right someday
But for now, all I can do is sit back
And watch as I lose in this fight for you
But it's a fight worth losing


All the good times we once shared are gone
They're nothing but distant memories now
All the plans of a future together are gone
They're nothing but sketches on some paper


And there's nothing I can do
But try my best to prove to you
That my love for you is and always will be true


And I'm not going to rest
I'm not going to stop
I'm not giving up in this fight that I'm losing
I'm trying my hardest
And I'm trying my best to prove
That I want to make things right with you


Chorus:
But what's done is done
And the damage remains
Baby, I swear I'll make things right someday
But for now, all I can do is sit back
And watch as I lose in this fight for you
But it's a fight worth losing


All I can do
Is try and make it up to you
And I'm using everything I have
I know our situation is bad
And I'm fighting in a fight that can't be had


But I'm trying for you
I'm trying to prove
I'm trying to regain your trust in me
I'm trying to win
In this fight that I'm in
I'm fighting to make you see
That I need you here with me


But if I lose in this fight for you
I want you to know that I tried my best
And maybe my best just wasn't enough to keep you
But I tried


The wrong I did you was a stupid mistake
But it was enough to cause your trust in me to break
And I know you've heard this many times before
But believe me when I say that I'm sorry
I never meant to hurt you


Chorus:
But what's done is done
And the damage remains
Baby, I swear I'll make things right someday
But for now, all I can do is sit back
And watch as I lose in this fight for you
But it's a fight worth losing


And there's nothing I can do
But try my best to prove to you
That my love for you is and always will be
True
Last edited by firefly882 on Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:02 am, edited 12 times in total.
"Have I ever told you the story about how our kingdom was nearly torn apart by greed and betrayal? No? Well then gather 'round, my children, and let Ol' Nan tell you about the Legends of Arenthul." ~Naneria




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Points 6076
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I enjoyed this a lot. It is somewhat cliched, but what isn't. I like the idea of losing a fight instead of winning one. That's nice and fresh. I'm a little confused, is this supposed to rhyme or not? The first stanza does, but some of the others don't. Maybe you could clear things up!

You should read through the lyrics as though you were singing, just to fix up a few syllable discrepancies. Otherwise, great job!

Sarebear
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a psychologist.




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It was heartfelt, and the simplicity of the language really made it such. However, as sarebear already mentioned, there's no clear pattern to the lyrics. What's their rhyme pattern? It looks like you have at least three. Even so, I did feel a strong flow throughout, which was good. I suggest, since the spacing is pretty uniform throughout, that you maybe label the lyrics, the chorus every time it appears, and the bridges (if you have any) so that it's easier to read.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR




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Points 1871
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I have a feeling you're going to hate me after this post: I think the word choice could be improved a little bit. Also, it was a bit repetitive. You should change things up a little, talk about how you did your beloved wrong, and how you plan to make things better. I'm not going to talk about the rhyme pattern, because the comments above me have already addressed that. But I definitely like the idea of a "fight worth losing", it spices it up and gives your song originality. Keep it up!
♥~*Emalee*~♥



Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
— Mark Twain