Spinning

The world will spin around us,
As we stand here in place.
Or are we the ones spinning
In and out of grace?

Those who watch us stare,
And those who know us giggle.
They taunt us with being there
And haunt our affections.

The world will spin around us,
And we'll be standing there.
Or are we the ones spinning
Without a single care?

Too soon to say goodbye,
Too late to know what's best.
Too early for parting sorrows,
And too dark for all the rest.

The world will spin around us,
And our gravity will pull.
Or are we the ones spinning?
Or is this just a silent lull?

Together our time is eternal,
Apart our time is naught.
Some day it will have to settle,
Whichever way the battle must be fought.

The world will spin around us,
Together or apart.
Or are we the ones spinning
Farther into the dark?

The light shines with sun's sweet kiss
The blinds pulled back with lace
Glittering brilliance of soft yellows.
The sky touches the earth's face.

The world will spin around us
Our horizon always set
Or are we the ones spinning
Even before we met.

I loved this poem! At first glance, I was like, "Oh gosh. It's a long poem, and it's going to be really boring." But after reading it, I was like, "Awesome!"

I liked the patter you had going on, and the rhyme. I always enjoy a good rhyme! It is appropriately titled. The poem had a sort of mysterious vibe going. I don't know if you intended for that, but it does, or at least it does to me. You should so be a professional poet or something! I mean, you have some real talent there! Keep it up!

-Emily

Wow. I really really loved the poem.
I like the way you put it - simple, but it makes you seek for some hidden meaning as well, and I think a lot of peopel can releate to this poem.

I'm not a big fan of short lines, but you've managed to express your ideas in rather short ones, moreover, you've managed to express your feelings through those lines. Really admirable!

Phoenix lands for a review.

Those who watch us stare,
And those who know us giggle.
They taunt us with being there
And haunt our affections.

This one seems a bit off the last line seems to break up the flow.

The world will spin around us,
And we'll be standing there.
Or are we the ones spinning
Without a single care?

I like the repetition of this compared to the first stanza.

Too soon to say goodbye,
Too late to know what's best.
Too early for parting sorrows,
And too dark for all the rest.

Also a really good stanza

The light shines with sun's sweet kiss
The blinds pulled back with lace
Glittering brilliance of soft yellows.
The sky touches the earth's face.

This one seems a bit off to me too. It seems a bit wordy compared to the others. But what do I know I;ve never been good at poetry. It's just my opinion.

I really liked this piece. I liked how it flowed and I liked the repetition of the spinning. Except for the two stanzas I pointed out I think this is expertly written.