Buddha Cat
There once was a cat that was so fat with enlightenment that his belly would touch the ground as he walked. Some knew him as Oliver, but all knew him as Buddha Cat.
Buddha Cat was a wanderer. He traveled across the land known as House, visiting distant regions such as Connor’s Couch and the Giant Ottoman. On these visits he would lay himself out on a spot he thought worthy, and would display his girth to all who passed by. It was impossible to not notice Buddha Cat’s immense shape in the distance; like a planet eclipsing the sun. It is said that once Buddha Cat used his tremendous gut to take advantage of Newton’s first law of motion and flung himself across the sky to land delicately atop the unexplored highlands known as the Kitchen Counter. What he did up there is a mystery. However, it is believed by his followers that once Buddha Cat had ascended the Kitchen Counter, he would make his way to the legendary Bowl of Enlightenment and dine on its contents, thus replenishing his sacred, gargantuan stomach and his teachings of enlightenment and universal peace.
Buddha Cat was a cat whose Zen could not be broken. No matter how extreme the disruption, nothing could penetrate Buddha Cat’s barrier of inner peace and tranquility. His head has been repeatedly chewed upon by the jaws of larger beasts, who in doing so were attempting to leech off of Buddha Cat’s enlightened spirit. He has been pushed from his perch many times by the Higher Ones, those who rule the vast land of House. Many times has he stumbled and fallen not by the force of others but, in fact, has done so through his own clumsiness. Despite the fact that he had suffered much duress, his disposition remained unbreakable. He would always respond to problems by positioning himself in the Pose of the Enlightened One, which was done by laying flat on his stomach, allowing his almighty flab to absorb all of his limbs until he retained a uniform, circular shape. From this pose, he would chant his mantra, “Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” over and over again, and would irradiate pure, peaceful energy from his belly. Everything surrounding him would immediately become tranquil; all violence would cease, all negativity would vanish, and a Higher One would undoubtedly arrive to perform the sacred art of scratching behind the ears of Buddha Cat. This, of course, would increase the peaceful aura that would be emanating from Buddha Cat.
Today, thousands of years after the Buddha Cat sat upon the earth we stand on, his spirit of tranquility and inner peace lives on. The followers of Buddha Cat, known as the Oliverists, have constructed numerous temples and shrines all around the universe. At these temples, the Oliverists will meditate and reflect upon the workings of their internal peacefulness by assuming the Pose of the Enlightened One, tucking all of their limbs under their fat bellies and lying on their stomachs while purring for at least three hours. Another accepted pose is lying on one’s side while allowing their gut to make itself noticeable, while purring. This is also done for about three hours. Aside from that, Oliverists are only allowed to eat an exotic food known as Meow Mix, which they believe was consumed by the Buddha cat himself centuries ago.
Buddha Cat has left his mark - rather, his indentation – upon the world with his teachings of enlightenment, which for reasons still unknown today were never actually recorded nor documented. His ways of lying about all day, reflecting on the ways of the spirit and the universe, are mirrored by our own actions of lying about on our couch all day on weekends and vacation. Whenever you see someone who has a noticeably large gut, show them honor and respect, for they, like Buddha cat, are on the true path to enlightenment.
Hello Chal and a big WELCOME to the site and I would like to say that I loved this; it made me giggle and think back on my cats. It was as Adventure already pointed out very imaginative and thought out, so thumbs up to you. And I liked how you made the cat out to be some all powerful feline with the Oliverists his many followers.
Love the perspective. I'm sold by this part.
