extract, from new story x

hey i know it's short but i just came up with it in the middle of a supermarket..


Alice

“NO” I shouted at him, “Dad, I am not your little princess anymore, I will do what I want! I will sing and I will dance! Because I enjoy it!” I said it with tears in my eyes, I knew I was going to be late for the performance. My dad knew he was defeated, but Monica was not going to back down “ Alice Brooke Lawell, you will do what I and you farther tell you to, you will take over the wine business and marry my son!” then my dad turned round and looked at her with the very expression I had on my face, shock then walked up to her and went “ You want her to marry Dominic!” then he finally realised the evil woman his wife was “How dare you! How dare you arrange a marriage including my daughter” we all stood still for a few seconds, tears were streaming down my face and Monica knew she had just slipped up, big time it felt like hours before my dad walked up to me. “Alice, im so sorry, go and and sing and enjoy it because by the time you’ve finished she” he pointed towards my step mum “will be gone” he wiped the tears from my face and gently kissed my forehead. I turned and walked away, Guitar in hand and ready for the biggest moment of my life.

hey does anyone know how to delete accounts i want to start over x

You misspelled father and insted wrote farther. No big deal i do that stuff all the time. you also need to indent on the new paragrahphs. And you start a new paragraph when a new caracter speaks. Over all i liked it, but theres not enough background to say i loved it. work on it a bit and add some detail, make the reader fell something for the character.

thankyou like i said it was a quick type up and it was never a writer i wanted to be it was a movie producer x but its all part of the job

You certainly are in a flutter! Sorry about the bad joke.
But your story has a very rushed feeling, as if one's supposed
to read it all in one breath.

“NO” I shouted at him,

Capital letters aren't the best for showing emotion. Just use the formatting
buttons on top of the page: the B stands for bold, i for italics and so on.
Then just type whatever you need emphasized between the symbols.