Looking down on all that I’ve ever known made me realize a lot of things. For one you never really know someone unless you are them. Well I guess you’d know them pretty well if you were like their stalker or something. Also you should learn about your family’s past because it could save your life one day. Trust me, I know.
I couldn’t tell you when it happened. Maybe it was when my parents decided they where going to “take a little break”. Maybe it was when my sister, Claire, started popping pain pills. But most likely it was April 17, last year. That day I went to school, 7:30 sharp, and texted Abby to get her ass over here so we could go to the library.
I’ve known Abby since 2nd grade. We’ve been best friends, along with Sara, ever since. And every day we’d walk to school together, except for, when it rains. She gets a ride from her drug addicted mom then. That day it was pouring so after 5 minutes of getting soaked I ran to the bathroom to try and untangle my drenched black curls. I figured Abby must have gotten sick from standing outside all night staring at the stars. Figures
Abby was obsessed with space and whatever might lie beyond it. There’ve been times when I would stay over; I’d get up in the middle of the night to find her outside in shorts with no coat just staring up at the sky. When I’d go to ask her what the hell was so interesting about a bunch of specs all she would say is,
“Don’t you ever wonder what’s out there? Don’t you wonder if there’s a little alien girl staring at our star thinking ‘I wonder who’s looking back,’?”
As soon as I got to the library I knew something was wrong. Sara was gazing at her phone. Not pressing any keys, not even trying to hide it from the librarian, who had a no phone policy. What was even weirder is she saw her. The librarian was watching her, not saying a thing. The room felt heavy, and every second I stood there felt like an eternity. When ever something bad happened, I played the part of comic relief. It was the only way to fix things in my opinion, laugh it off. But with Sara being the upbeat, vigorous person she was, I knew a joke couldn’t cool this fire.
“Who died?” I said. I never thought that little sarcastic remark could make the temperature leap from 100 degrees to the melting point of diamonds. Sara burst into tears. I reached for the phone. What else could I do? I read the message on the screen. It was from her mom who only spoke to Sara when it was important. And even when it was she only texted her daughter because Sara still blamed her for the divorce.
From: Mom
Honey Abby’s mom called her step dad was drunk and they got in an argument she won’t be at school anymore
I didn’t understand at first. I didn’t cry only because it hadn’t sunken in. But when I got it, I never felt worse in my life. I couldn’t get it thru my head that my best friend Abby, was with all her little specks in the sky.
So here I am, in my 2nd hour English class, one year after my best friend was beat to death by her step dad. Sara knows it too; we’re going to the cemetery after school just like we did on her birthday. Things are really different now, between Sara and I. Abby was the glue that held us together. We were drifting apart; we never seemed to have the time for each other. She was always with her boyfriend, Keith, and I was always with my sister and her friends. I wasn’t into the whole drug scene but it was better that staying with my mom. I couldn’t risk her asking questions.
The bell finally rings and I go to find Sara
“Can you still go after school?” I ask. Now that she’s always busy with Keith I have to check on everything or she’ll forget.
“Actually I’m going later. I have piano after school, sorry.”
As much I want to tell her off I know it wouldn’t help. I opt for my usual stress reliever instead. You’d be surprised at what I can get away with in the school bathroom. And a Bobby-pin with the rubber part bitten off is all it takes to get through the day. While I’m sitting in the bathroom stall I think about how, as I roll up my sleeve, that one year ago today, in this same bathroom the first scar on my arm was made. Back then I cried, but today its part of a routine.
The more I think about it the more I wonder if Sara was ever really my friend to begin with. I remember in fourth grade when the three of us got caught stealing candy of the teacher’s desk. She sure was quick to rat me out, saying it was all my idea. In reality it was Abby’s plan, I didn’t even like gummy worms, but these were my friends so I went with it. In the end we all got in trouble, so I forgot to be made at Sara.
I realize I’ve been daydreaming when the bell rings for 3rd hour. (Shit) I hear the clicking of heels on the tile floor and whispered criticism as Amanda and her pack of close minded dogs depart. They follow at her heels waiting for a bone to be thrown. I once thought of letting her put a collar on me. That isn’t even an option now, I can still hear them whispering about me. She knows, I don’t know how or why she hasn’t said anything yet, but I don’t care. My arm is throbbing now; I glance and realize blood ran down my arm and onto my jeans.
“Perfect!” I can’t help but say out loud. I’ll have detention for yet again being late to math, so I don’t see a reason to hurry. I wash the Bobby-pin, put it back in my hair and scrub my jeans, but it’ll have to wait till I can wash them.
The halls are so quiet during class; it’s a great time to think. I walk past the double red doors and consider going out side, maybe go to the park and watch the ducks. But for some reason I keep going to my locker. When I get there my book has dissaperd, O well what’s two days detention?
“Hey, it’s Liz right?” I look up.
“Yea,” Is all I think to say to the guy standing next to me. His hair is jet black and I can’t help but stare at his pierced lips, snakebites I think their called. “Yea I’m Liz why?”
“I’ve seen you around with that Sara chick. You friends with her?” he asked.
“Yea and she’s dating someone, sorry.” I closes the locker door as loud as possible to without making a scene. He seemed like the kind of guy who would like her. Like any guy with a pulse.
“Honestly,” he said “I’m not the least bit interested. But she should know Keith’s been with my sister for the last month. I figured someone should tell her.” He turned to walk away
“Wait!” I grab his arm and he winces back. “Sorry. Who are you anyway.”
“James.” he says rubbing his arm, “I have to go.”
