Begin Again

We hold onto ourselves.
We don't let go
We won't let go of what we know.
Gathering our hearts,
Our souls, and lives,
We can't let go.

The world may spin if we look.
The walls seem to crash down.
There's people walking past us
While we stand on solid ground.

No longer do the clouds
Grace our feet and head.
No longer do the pillows
Comfort us in our own bed.

We wake up from our dream world
To see a world we used to know.
We search out our old contacts
From the world in which
We used to be.
Hold onto ourselves.
Grasp at who we are.
Search for who we once were
To know where to go,
What to be.

Slowly things may settle.
Slowly things may ease.
We learn to take a step forward
And follow the crowed freely.
We learn to walk all on our own,
Natural as can be,
We just can't help but look around
At all that we could be.

We set our goals
We make our mark
And head out towards the start.

Very simplistic, yet speaks a lot
I really like how there is not particular structure to it, which makes it more original and not like the typical, superficial layout of many poems
Good job at it

I would just like to know...is it about love? I believe it is, and for some reason it fit that perspective to me-am I making sense-no, I never do.

Hi I'm puffycherry but you can call me Chrissie, and I'll be your reviewer for today. I must worn you before hand, I have no experience with poetry and couldn't tell a hyperbole from an oxymoron! (And that is even if I can spell the correctly) Why you ask I am saying this? I wouldn't have a clue.

As the first reviewer stated, this is a rather simplistic and yet, speaks heck of a lot! I really liked reading it and the imagery you placed in my head. Each little 'stanza' thing, makes a lot of sense and the meaning was directly pointed out to me!

Hi,

Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.

I really like "No longer do the pillows
Comfort us in our own beds"

I'd cut out lines line "while we stand on solid ground", lines which sound like something you've read before.

I think the rhyme scheme is restricting you so I'd try this without the rhyme.

I'd also try and make it more visual and less abstract.For example,rather than;
"Gathering our hearts..."
could you suggest something more concrete which the characters are doing to stay afloat, a more visual image?

Hope this helps,

Jas

Thank you all for reviewing and if you read this I'd like to explain a little to hopefully see if it came across as I intended.

Jas- I agree, the rhyme scheme was hard to stay with which is why after the first two stanzas I kind of ignored it but it did throw the poem off a bit.
As for the solid grounds line it was an allusion actually to a poem I wrote called Spinning which I shall post up here. The rhythm of that verse is basically how I wrote that particular poem and as both poems are about a relationship I had I felt a need to relate them.
The vagueness is due to the fact that I had a very particular thing in mind and I didn't feel it necessary to really put that in there when it is me more just letting out my feelings about what was going on and a poem about letting go.
The main reason I posted that was not because of the second stanza though, but the third. I don't really like it. It is again an allusion to another poem I had for him but not one I shall post (It wouldn't really make sense I don't think). Is there any way you could possibly help me with that one?

Chrissie- It is somewhat a poem about love but more it is a poem about letting go of love. This is in a set of poems. Precisely That, Spinning, Fall, Begin Again. Precisely that is a response to one of our days out together as a couple. Spinning is the dating heading down hill (I will post that one) and general comments on dating. Fall is the break up's first emotions. Begin Again is just as it says, a time to start a-new.

I like the meaning behind this poem because it's something I can easily relate to, but I didn't catch on to the meaning until you yourself had said it was about letting go of love. Perhaps you should make the meaning more visible?

We search out our old contacts
From the world in which
We used to be.

These were probably the lines that stuck out the most to me because they don't flow very well.

I did love the meaning behind the poem but I felt like you said very little for how much is actually written and how much you repeat. I think you should try to condense it, keep in mind that every word needs to forward things, needs to add a bit more. And though it does, I still feel like this poem could be thinned out, made more powerful. Pick one thing rather than several, and focus on that. Perhaps if you implemented more poetic devices, perhaps some metaphors or similes for how one is feeling, it'd have a stronger punch.

That's probably the biggest thing I noticed with it: I felt like you had a lot more lines than content. But perhaps I'm just more fond of exact, concise poetry.

I like it, kind of sad...

I liked this. It was a bit confusing in the beginning, but I enjoyed the rest of it.