Jessica: Protection chapter 2

If you didn't read the last chapter RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT

I lay awake in bed. I was trying desperately to convince myself that yesterday was a dream. It had to be, but then again, it just couldn’t be.

At breakfast, Grace and Grant acted as if nothing was different. I soon saw why.

Jake was in the room, he was six so he was the most protected. If I freaked out when reminded of yesterday’s “incident”, I might use my new power by accident and hurt Jake.

I took a deep breath, making sure I was under control. Then I spoke.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt Jake, if you tell me.”

“Tell her,” Jake squealed, “I’m a superhero!”

“You’re not, Jaky, but that doesn’t matter,” Grant laughed, “Jess, you do have Electricity, and you’re going to school with us right after breakfast.”

I was too surprised to speak.

“No, not school,” wailed Jake slopping his cereal on the table, “I don’t want to be alone.”
Grace gave him a hug, while cleaning up his mess.

“Jess, go and get you most prized possession, you won’t need anything else,” ordered Grant.
I ran up the metal stairs. I had to go three stories before running down the hall to my room. On the way I did some thinking. I had a power, Electricity. I was going to JAP. Soon I would be learning how to fight like my older siblings.

I burst into my room, started digging around, looking at thing like old CDs and trophies from gym (I had got them from running the mile faster than anyone in my class, I had always been fast for my age now I realized that it was because I had Electricity) but none of them seem to be my most prized possession.
This was the last time I would be in here until next summer.

Aliza,

First of all, you need to leave spaces between paragraphs. It's different from in Word. I did that too the first time. You can't indent, you need to leave a physical space. Also, I would suggest writing longer chapters. I like how you developed the characters more.

'“No, not school.” Wailed Jake slopping his cereal on the table,' Just be careful here. It should be: '"No, not school," wailed Jake, slopping his cereal on the table.'

I love your premise. Keep writing.

Sarebear

Hi Aliza. I'm here on chapter-2 now. So this was pretty much sort so convenient for me to review. I won't say I liked it or i din't coz' there was nothing much to like or hate as it was short(I didn't make sense, did I?).

I like= Pink
I added, according to me= Blue

I lay awake in bed, trying to blur off yesterday's memory. I was trying desperately to convince myself that yesterday was a dream. It had to be, but then again, it just couldn’t be.

At breakfast, Grace and Grant acted as if nothing was different. I soon saw why.

Jake was in the room, he was six, so he was the most protected. If I freaked out when reminded of yesterday’s “incident”, I might use my new power by accident and hurt Jake.

I took a deep breath, making sure I was under control This red part was fine had you been continuing this part. Then I spoke.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt Jake, if you tell me.”

“Tell her,” Jake squealed, “I’m a superhero!”

“You’re not, Jaky, but that doesn’t matter,” Grant laughed, “Jess, you do have Electricity, and you’re going to school with us right after breakfast.”

I was too surprised to speak.

“No, not school,” wailed Jake slopping his cereal on the table, “I don’t want to be alone.”
Grace gave him a hug, while cleaning up his messWhat kind of mess?

“Jess, go and get your most prized possession, you won’t need anything else,” ordered Grant.
I ran up the metal stairs. I had to go three stories before running down the hall to my room. On the way I did some thinking. I had a power, Electricity. I was going to JAP. Soon I would be learning how to fight like my older siblings.

I burst into my room, started digging around, looking at thing like old CDs and trophies from gym (I had got them from running the mile faster than anyone in my class could, I had always been fast for my age now I realized that it was because I had Electricity) but none of them seem to be my most prized possession.
This was the last time I would be in here until next summer.

It was an okay read. Describe the characters more, dear! Just this much!!

Flying off for now!