Circles. (Based off the song "Circles")

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-Based off the song "Circles" By Flyleaf. This isn't for Timmeh's contest I just had to write it lol. Enjoy!

Running down the shadowed the path, I stop again to make sure no one followed me.

When nothing moves, I continue on.

My heart pounds going down the path, most likely for the last time and I try to slow my racing thoughts. Panicking now would do me no good.

I made my way through the last thick pieces of brush in the forest and came to the small clearing.

Falling to my knees, I bent my hand and offered up my shaking hands.

“I-I’m here Master.” I said.

Something shifted in the darkness on the other half of the small clearing. A dark presence cleared its throat.

“Good Amsa. You’ve completed your task well.”

Those words. So encouraging yet so deadly… We all knew what happened when a task was finished…It was both a treasure and a sentence. A beautiful beast come to take you away, to end you.

I closed my eyes and let my hands fall. My thoughts raced quicker. I thought of my mother and father, my brother…him…No. I wouldn’t think of him.

Movement came from the darkness again. He was walking toward me. Before this moment, I had never seen His face. It was rumored that the only time you saw it was when He took you. But, of course, no one was still with us to confirm such a rumor.

I felt a shiver go through me as a cold breeze made its way through the clearing. It would be over soon… Just close your eyes and drift away Amsa I told myself.

Suddenly, the brush began to shake. My eyes snapped open in shock. Someone had followed me.

Movement in the darkness; he was receding back into the oblivion. He would return when I had gotten the person to leave.

Standing, I waited for them to come. Quickly, I sorted through lies to get the person to leave quickly without me. I had just found one, when my follower fell through the brush. I felt my anger rise quickly.

“How dare you follow me!” I hissed at him as he scrambled to his feet. Standing, he looked at me with those tawny gold eyes.

He frowned. “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

I frowned back at him. “Well now you know. Leave me, Clark.”

He sighed and ran his hands through his onyx curls and looked at me sadly. “Amsa…I-“

I turned away from him. “You’ve said your apologies, Clark. Leave.”

He stepped toward me. “Amsa,” his voice was soft and desperate, “please.”

I stepped away. “Clark.” I made my tone dangerous. He needed to leave here. The longer I made Him wait, the more impatient He would get and the less merciful He would be when He took me. “I don’t love you and I never could.”


For a moment, silence reigned in the clearing. I prayed that he had gone silently but when I turned to look, he was there, watching me. His hawk-like eyes filled with heart-broken tears.

“Why won’t you believe me?” He whispered.

“Because no man really loves. Prove to me that a man can truly love someone, unconditionally, and will risk anything for them…then maybe I’ll believe you.” I said sternly.

A single tear fell and he opened his mouth to say something, when I felt the darkness behind me stir.

“This has gone on long enough!” He growled.

I spun around to face the darkness and blinked as I found a thick shining blade swinging toward me.

Then everything went into slow motion.

Something tugged the back of my tunic and I found myself falling backward. An arm reached out in front of me, and with the flash of the blade, was gone.

I fell to the ground, shocked. Had that really just happened?

Shaking, I sat up and looked to the darkness. He was gone.

I looked to the ground, heart pounding.

There he was. His body lay there pale and still, his severed arm laying a few feet away. Blood coated the dirt around us and his empty eyes stared into the sky. I took a shuddering breath and reached toward him, touching him lightly. Cold.

Tears rose in my eyes. I came closer to him and slowly pressed a hand to his chest. Nothing. He was gone.

I shook my head. “N-no…Oh please no.” A sob welled in my throat and the tears began to stream down my cheeks. “No!” I screamed.

Inside me, I felt something die; break beyond repair. If I’d known any better I would say it was my heart…but I couldn’t be sure.

Slowly, I gathered him into my arms, rocking back and forth slowly.

He loved me…He truly sincerely loved me. I told him to risk everything, and he had done so. He risked it and lost it. All because of me.


I bent my head over his body and began to sob as realization hit me.

I loved him.

“Come back to me,” I whispered fiercely, holding him tighter. “Please! I believe you, Clark! You proved it to me! Please! Believe me! Come back!”

Nothing happened. And I knew nothing would. He was gone.

I believe, what if I believe you now?
Forgive me, believe me
Please come back to life…
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. - Robert McCloskey

Teacher: What do we, in the U.S enjoy from places like Mexico?
Student: Wait, legally?

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Irish! Hi! I'm here to review. ;)

So first off, I loffs you for making a short story out of this song! *whispers* It's called "Circle" not "Circles". :smt003 Anyways, let's get to the good stuff.

irishfire wrote:Something shifted in the darkness on the other half of the small clearing. A dark presence cleared its throat.


I was hoping for a little more description at this part. I wanted to know what his voice sounded like...was it cold and deathly? Was it tired and power-hungry? And what about his figure? Is he stooped and emaciated? Maybe he stands tall and intimidating...Next time, try and add some of that kind of stuff so that we, the readers, can feel exactly what the characters are feeling. :D

Also, I think you should slow it down a little! As I was reading this, I felt rushed, like I couldn't concentrate on any of the details before you moved on to the next part. Just take it slowly next time, add little thing that weren't there before, and you'll do fine. :D

But as for the rest...who am I to judge? It's based on a Flyleaf song, for crying out loud! ;) I will say, though, that this is a song about Jesus. I don't know if you knew that, but I figured I would say so. :/

Anyways, I loved reading this! I can't wait to see your official entry. :smt003

-Knightley
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same."

Lady Gaga




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Hey there Irish!

So the biggest thing this story is in want for is description. I want to be able to picture the clearing, the woods, and especially the dark dude. I want to know what her task was, who the dark guy is, and what her relationship with Clark was. I assume the dark guy is the devil, or something like that? I want to know things, and I want to be able to picture them. I've never listened to the song, so I don't know if there's some kind of back story in it or not, but I'd like a little more information ;).

I like it though, keep writing!

~Hope
"I'd rather be hated for being who I am, then loved for who I'm not."




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Omg! Hehehe this made me sooo happy! I love love love Flyleaf (Yes you got the name of the song wrong but we'll keep that secret!) so when I saw this I was like teenage-girl-over-excited-happy. OK the album's about the Passerby and the Dead armies (God and Devil) so there is a big religion aspect and in the song this woman thinks her husband is cheating on her so she follows him one day (thinking he's meeting his mistress) but he is a captain in the Passerby Army and is actually just going out on a mission so she finds him and accuses him of having an affair ya-ta ya-ta and this Dead army soldier happens to cross their path and throws her down threatening to kill her so her man sacrifices himself to save her and the Dead army soldier leaves so if you were aiming to put the song's meaning into an exact story you didn't get everything right but! I loved your interpretation anyway, it showed a lot of meaning and emotion but I agree about the need for more description and slower pace, but other than that lovely piece! Good job :)
These lies are leading me astray, it's too much for me to stay. I don't wanna live this destiny, it goes on endlessly. I see you so please stay strong, I'll sing you one last song and then I'm gone. I don't wanna live this destiny, it goes on endlessly.

This love this Hate- Hollywood Undead



"would you still love me if i was a worm" yeah babe i would AND id get you your own compost bin so we could enter gardening competitions together
— Corvid