Cheese, Ham and Pickle

I have a very small mirror hanging around my neck
I like it. It’s a beautiful mirror, it shows me my face
I like it, it’s a beautiful face
But ponderance on reflections, I reflected on my reflection just today
That as mirrors go, small sized is the way
It has a very small pink ribbon floating on the top, I carry it with me all the day
Why would anyone put cheese in this world, you beast in a feast
Do not combine ingredients this way
However if I were to mix cheese into my life,
I would definitely regard it in my small sized, little, lovely, pink ribboned mirror
Hanging from my neck.

I like the wording and what story you're trying to interpret, but sometimes, you have a first line that has 5 words, and then your next word has 9 or 10 words. This throws off the beat of the poem. Try this: When you finish writing a poem, read it out loud, and make sure the beat is right. Essential for poetry. I like it, keep writing!

I loved this. Firstly, because of that interesting title, and secondly because you've used a lot of really inventive imagery that seems to dangle nuggets of details in front of our noses without slamming the overall idea in our faces. So...I'm going to have to do a bit of thinking here (and congrats for that, too, since I really enjoy a good poem to chew over and reread!).

Cheese, Ham and Pickle

On second thoughts, I still have no idea what that title means - but too often, I see boring, glum, one-word titles that try and sum up there poems - so I liked this one especially because it did none of that.

I have a very small mirror hanging around my neck
I like it. It’s a beautiful mirror, it shows me my face
I like it, it’s a beautiful face

I loved how the opening line was entertaining and weird. And WELL DONE for not spelling out what you meant by 'cheese, ham and pickle' in the first line; it helped maintain that aura of mystery. The way you said 'I like it' was intimate, and made me warm towards the narrator a lot more. But I thought 'beautiful mirror' and 'beautiful face' were just bland images that didn't speak to me much. That word is so over-used. And I didn't like how the narrator compliments themself - just makes them seem shallow. In fact, any mentions of a person looking at themself inthe mirror is going to make them seem shallow.

But ponderance on reflections, I reflected on my reflection just today
That as mirrors go, small sized is the way

'Ponderance on reflections' was too verbiose for my liking, but I enjoyed the clever 'reflected on my reflection' bit. And I still don't get where the ham and pickle come in... The second line in the above quote was really not needed either, since we assume it's small as it's hanging round the narrator's neck!

It has a very small pink ribbon floating on the top, I carry it with me all the day

Definitely a charming line, and I liked how you clung onto that one image (of a mirror) and expanded on it for us. But I'd have to agree with Vasticity's comment above me - it's too long. The line length shouldn't really matter when the poem is good, but it certainly can add to the overall aesthetics of the poem by the way the writer has splattered the poem onto the page. So, think about evening out lines a lot more, while still getting that effect you're going for.

Why would anyone put cheese in this world, you beast in a feast
Do not combine ingredients this way
However if I were to mix cheese into my life,
I would definitely regard it in my small sized, little, lovely, pink ribboned mirror
Hanging from my neck.

Didn't like the 'beast in feast' bit - going a little overboard with the wordplay and all. But 'however if I were to mix cheese into my life' was a WIN . The next line had FAR too many adjectives in it: 'small sized (not needed; we already know this), little (why are you repeating the same concept twice?), lovely (yeah, we know it's lovely - it's got a RIBBON on it!!), pink-ribboned mirror (I liked the mention of this, since it reiterates without being too boring)'. And the last line was great, too.

Now...for what you were saying (this is where you make me exercise some brainpower). So, you ask why cheese should go in the world...okay, but I expect to see what's wrong with cheese in the world BEFORE you dive into where cheese belongs. And overall, you think cheese should be in a mirror. What the heck? (I mean, this is really interesting and amusing and everything, but I really don't get it - [b]why[b] should cheese be in a mirror?). Let me guess...a mirror shows reflections so.........jeez, I have no idea. Whatever you're trying to say, you haven't left enough clues, and I'm pretty sure you've got a clear idea in your mind on what this poem should be about - so, it's just a matter of dropping more tasty hints that add up nicely.

This was a fantastic read - so thank you for it - and I'd really love for you to answer my question above (you could answer it directly here, or do a rewrite of the poem with the meaning more obvious, and leave it for me to dissect!).

Feel free to PM me if you'd like any more reviews - I would be delighted to read more of your poetry.