nothing

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1535
Reviews 3
contents have been deleted
Last edited by W-Lupus on Sun May 09, 2010 8:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Not the most active person here.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1193
Reviews 262
Wow! I totally love this! My only question is what exactly does a werewolf look like? Other than that I think this is really wonderful. Good going! :smt003

:elephant: LOVE --ULTRAVIOLET
"Blah blah blah. You feel trapped in your life. Here is what I am hearing: happiness isn't worth any inconvenience."

~asofterworld.com




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5772
Reviews 45
Hi W-Lupus! This was an interesting story, and I thought it was more unique than other werewolf stories. I also liked how you mixed in a scientific explanation. :smt001 The only part that confused me was how you kept changing tenses. Is it in past tense or present tense? For instance, sometimes you wrote something along the lines of "I said" and another time you put "I say". Choose a tense and stick with it. One more thing that I found:
I start to clean the boys wounds, the dried blood had begun to turn the water red, which ran like veins over the cave floor.

Again with the tenses. You put "I start" (present tense) and "ran" (past tense). Also, put a semicolon between "wounds" and "the", or just start a new sentence entirely. All in all, this story really interested me, and I can't wait to read more! PM me when you post more!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1535
Reviews 3
ultraviolet wrote:Wow! I totally love this! My only question is what exactly does a werewolf look like? Other than that I think this is really wonderful. Good going! :smt003

:elephant: LOVE --ULTRAVIOLET


thanks! Your question has just made me realise i need to put a description of one in here. ^^

Earthfire713 wrote:Hi W-Lupus! This was an interesting story, and I thought it was more unique than other werewolf stories. I also liked how you mixed in a scientific explanation. :smt001 The only part that confused me was how you kept changing tenses. Is it in past tense or present tense? For instance, sometimes you wrote something along the lines of "I said" and another time you put "I say". Choose a tense and stick with it. One more thing that I found:
I start to clean the boys wounds, the dried blood had begun to turn the water red, which ran like veins over the cave floor.

Again with the tenses. You put "I start" (present tense) and "ran" (past tense). Also, put a semicolon between "wounds" and "the", or just start a new sentence entirely. All in all, this story really interested me, and I can't wait to read more! PM me when you post more!


thanks for pointing that out! very helpful. I tend to not use this site alot , and i have more of this story on my devaintART page. I'll pm you though if i put more up here.
Not the most active person here.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 14091
Reviews 98
It looks like the wolves are taking over! Hey W-Lupus nice meeting ya, I'm curious by the way. This is ver interesting and I like to read more, so if you didn't mind when you add more can you PM, please and Thank you in advanvce. Keep writing and thank you for the read.
"I became insane,with long intervals of horrible insanity."

"Their ideology is that human nature is fundamentally evil.In other words, humans are evil from the day they are born."

"Human is beatiful. Perfect is boring."



Hearing these stories makes me realize that I never did anything with my childhood.
— The Internet