Hourglass

I know this poem is bad, but I just wanted to see what you thought.( I cant write poetry at all, this was a feeble try)

This hourglass,
Is tiny
No more than one inch tall.

With its smooth golden stand
And its pale cream sand
That you can hear if you hold it
to your ear
Flowing back and fourth, back and fourth.

Like the tide
Flowing in and out, in and out

Its scent
Like coins and cinnamon
I wonder where its been?

I don't think your poem is bad at all, I actually like it. Small, simple, but also makes you want to see the hourglass for all its glory no matter how small it is.

Huh. This is kind of strange, but strange in a good way. Like Passion said, it's simple, but it makes you wonder deeply about such an unrecognized object. The poem also made me think of time and life. Lives can be looked down on by many as small and insignificant, but they're quite beautiful if you look at them right.
Okay....only problem here is that I now want to add an hourglass to my list of niknaks-to-buy.
You can definately write poetry

I don't think this was bad. It was pretty short but you managed to throw some imagery in there that works. The second stanza, where you described the sand and being able to hear it moving, that was pretty good.

I do have a couple of tiny nitpicks. Not every line needs to be capitalized. You probably typed this up in a program such as Word, where things are automatically capitalized. That's what happens to me all the time. Also, the last line doesn't really need a question mark. No biggie

I think you can write poetry. You should definitely keep going.
-Brainy

Hey Alles

Okay, to start, get rid of the little itallicised note at the beginning. You should have more confidence in your own writing (:

The description of this thing that seems so tiny and fragile is beautiful. You've given it a feeling, a sound and a smell. It also provokes the thought of where it's been, and the size makes it seem so interesting, but still fragile. I love it!

Unfortunately I can't actually offer any constructive critisism on this apart from what the others have said. I do like the question mark at the end though, it adds a little more of the authors voice to the description.

Well done
-Ten