A- B-eautiful O-R-T-I-O-N

The sun set in the western blue,
Bidding farewell to the pink hues
In the park, a couple danced
Oh what songs they sang.

It was a beautiful day, to go for a swim,
For two grinning kids to run around the swimming pool rim
One fell in, the other after,
Oh what fun they had

And on the magical day, a Sunday,
Was a lady, a doctor and one unborn.
The nurse handed him his scalpel and he waited... waited...
It was a beautiful day to die.

In heaven high the angels dance, rejoice and sing
And Micael flies high o'er... a bell rings
The angels at attention stand to the Archangel,
They are ready for their rolls

Blue paper,
Blue-Print Paper
Of Life, Lives and Love
The angels are assigned to specific individuals

One remarks at the simplicity and magnificence of his job,
A beautiful boy with watery blue eyes,
Who'll earn respect, live life, love and laugh
Who'll one day wind-up playing bass in a band

Suddenly the blueprint turns to glitter,
And away does fly...
On Earth, the scalpel has been disposed of,
'Twas a beautiful day to die.

The sun rose in the sky the next morning,
Salutes the blue hills and clouds,
The grass sways in cool wind under shade

A child falls and plays rough,
A young man falls in love,
A handsome matriculate scores the A's
An old couple feed the ducks,

That Monday was yet another group assembled:
A lady, a doctor and one unborn.
The nurse handed him his scalpel and he waited... waited...
It was too beautiful a day to die

the strongest part of this is the last line, this poem is worth fixing just for that. but literally nothing else worked for me. I found the angels boring, the imagery of sunsets and sunrises to be mundane and unoriginal. You can really spice this up, there's a lot of territory here that you leave unexplored. you can't have abortion without pregnancy and you can't have pregnancy without sex and you can't have sex without a man and a woman and i'm sure there's a lot of emotion, a lot of scenery and sensory detail that would liven this piece up a bit. But absolutely leave the last line, its gold and I mean that.

Hey, Hero!

I must say I was confused by the title at first, but then I got it and then I thought it was a little too obvious! Try finding a title that might be more appropriate after you work through the poem.

First of all, I like the structure that you've set it up on. You describe the beautiful day and with the repetition of how beautiful it is, the addition of the word 'too' in the last line gives you a solid path. I believe the steps on that path are lacking, however. You give me people playing in the sun and although generally that's a happy image, I don't feel it when I read your poem. I understand that the 'point' of the poem isn't to evoke emotion, but I feel that your point could be made much stronger if you get that emotion behind the words. If you want to use logic to back your point, write an essay. A pointed poem is a place for emotion to convince the reader.

Instead of saying sun, talk about yellow and the warmth. Instead of saying that there were people, talk about what their laughs sounded like and the way they talked with each other, how they touched each other. The scene with the angels seems a little too sacred in my opinion, but since this is your poem, tell us what the angels were made of, and how they spoke, and show us the seams in the edges of the paper and the pattern the glitter made as it fell. Furthermore, I wanted to know whether the angels had expected this or not.

One other point I would like to make is that you should keep the language in this poem consistent. 'It was too beautiful a day to die' seems very simple and accessible, but at some points in the rest of the poem, it seems like you were reaching to sound sophisticated and detached. I think that if you cut down on some of the vocabulary and described these situations more simply, the poem would be much more accessible and successful.

Consider my suggestions and let me know if you have any questions, okay? ^_^ Good luck!

-Hannah-