CHAPTER ONE – Survive
“How have you been since our last session?” The counsellor probes. I sink deeper into the plush leather chair.
“Um…” I say. I don’t know what to tell her.
“I can review your notes from last week, if you like, so that you have somewhere to begin.” She offers, flipping through pages of the folder that sits on her desk. My name is written across the front of the folder.
“Sure,” I reply, shakily. I definitely don’t want you to review my previous mistakes.
“Okay… let me see… We ended off last week after you told me that your home life was getting worse.” She recites words from a piece of paper.
“Yeah…” I trail off. I twirl a lock of my brown hair.
“Can you tell me more about that?”
“Well, it’s gotten harder to live at home, I guess. All my family members do is argue with each other. And they’re starting to blame some things on me.” I mumble. A lump the size of a snowball lodges itself into my throat.
“What sort of things, Jenna?” She asks.
I pause for a few minutes. The cooking timer on her desk ticks slowly.
“My mom is really stressed over her work or something so she’s yelling a lot, and being all psychotic… My dad is never home… and my sister spends all night partying.” I explain.
“Well, that is something.” She observes. “How are you feeling?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you feeling worse than you usually do… or different?”
Feeling worse… Her words tear across my heart. I try to bite back tears because I can’t let anyone see me cry.
“I’m not sure.” I squeak.
“Do you want to continue?” She asks, pushing a box of tissues towards me. The box is decorated with kittens.
“Not today.” I dab at my eyes with a tissue.
“Alright, I’ll see you next week.” She closes my file and pushes it aside. I rise from the chair and try to get out of the room in one piece. Once I’m in the lobby, my heart climbs into my throat. I bite back tears as I push through the front door.
I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes, before a black SUV pulls up at the curb. I yank open the front door and hop in.
“Hi.” The driver says.
“Hello… why are you picking me up?” I ask. I thought my aunt was supposed to.
“I just decided to… and I have to go to the post office and Dr. Park’s office was along the way so…” She explains.
“Okay, Mom.” I tune her out. The wheels of the car screech against the curb.
“What did you discuss today?” She probes.
“Everything that I say to Dr. Park’s is private. If I don’t want to repeat it to anyone, I don’t have to.” I snap.
“Okay. I understand.” She keeps driving until we haul into the driveway of our house. I scan its pale yellow exterior before following my mother inside.
I throw my coat on the coat rack and go upstairs.
My room is at the far end of the hall, so to get there I have to pass my mother’s room, the bathroom and my sister’s room. Her bedroom door is open and music is blaring from her stereo.
“Jenna…?” She slurs. She is sprawled across her bed, with one arm dangling off the side of it.
“It’s me.” I say.
“What time is it?” She asks. She keeps her head firmly on the pillow.
“Almost two-thirty.” I tell her.
“Damn… Are you serious?” She staggers to stand upright. She stumbles into the bathroom and slams the door behind her.
I roll my eyes and go into my own room. I guess I know where my sister spent the night last night; out getting drunk with her friends.
I cross my bedroom and sit on my computer chair. I open my email account and check my messages. There is a message from my Dad. The first one I’ve gotten in the past two months.
Hi Jenna,
How are you and your sister doing? What about your mother? I’m in Australia now and am about to go to New Zealand. I’ll try and bring back something for you and your sister.
- Dad
I delete the message immediately. His constant traveling is the reason my family was torn apart.
He met some twenty year-old on one of his business trips and didn’t come home like he was supposed to. Mom found out from one of his friends, and he was out of the picture in less than two weeks.
I hardly ever get to see him.
The following day at school, I get called down to the office during third period. My mom is waiting for me.
“What happened?” I ask her. She rolls her eyes.
“I need you to come with me. Faye is missing again. When I went to wake her up this morning, her window was open and she was gone.”
“Do I have to?” I ask. My sister disappears like this all the time.
“Yes. You do.” She snaps.
“Okay.” I agree, hiking my backpack on my shoulder.
The secretary pounds on her computer. She nods towards me and my mother drags me out of the building.
I don’t even have the books I need for the rest of the day.
She pushes me into the car and we speed off towards downtown, to comb the clubs for Faye.
