Words

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Gender Female
Points 1075
Reviews 344
Neat little words, ambitiously candid
they fill my room in books of branded
titles and pages, Dickens and Welles,
my library preceeds me:
it positvely swells.
Plays and musicals, rested on piano cases
notes and chords like flowers in vases,
I have so many words, letters and nouns,
rigid creatures that evoke emotions and sounds,
I’ve written a saga, an epic, gothic tragedies
Lovers that clash like titans, awash in stormy seas.
And yet, through my chatter, the lines in between,
all that I write and that I claim to have seen
I know,
that I have nothing, will have nothing
and yet even less to say

only that words curtain all the awkward silences
of my life,
neatly away.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Oscar Wilde.




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Gender Female
Points 8413
Reviews 52
Wow! The poem is so deep. Plus, you titled it perfectly-something I absolutely can't do to save my soul. It's not about death or anything creepy, but it gave me that sort of feeling while I read it, and that made it really cool. It's a pretty epic poem! Keep writing!
"A stranger in a strange land" ~ Exodus 2:22




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Gender Other
Points 32184
Reviews 153
I have to say that I liked this poem overall: the idea of it, the atmosphere you've given it, as well as the rhythm of it.

There are, however, some little points that bother me: the transition from the first line to the second is too abrupt; it could use some smoothing, something to help the words flow a little better.

There are also several instances where you use of punctuation bothers me:
they fill my room in books of branded
titles and pages, Dickens and Welles,
my library preceeds me:

Here for example, after "Dickens and Welles" ,a period would be more suited than a comma: the connection between the two sentences is not explicit enough to warrant the use of the comma.
Other case,
And yet, through my chatter, the lines in between,
all that I write and that I claim to have seen
I know,
that I have nothing, will have nothing

I'd remove the comma after "I know": it's unnecessary, and only halts the flow of the sentence.

Hope that helps.
Lumi: they stand no chance against the JAG SAFETY BLANKET



Who knows anything about anyone, let alone themselves.
— Hank Green