Tide

This one kind of - I dont know. Crystallized. It needs work (I think). But it means something to me, so...yeah.

every shell
can hear the sound of the sea.
even the smallest,
the weakest and most brittle
echoes with ocean music.

if Love
were an ocean, and I were
a beautiful paua
or a hard-working oyster,
held up to a waiting ear-
would the ocean sing through me?

perhaps I’ll never know.

I love the imagery - its very unique.

if Love
were an ocean-
if I were ................I think (not sure) an and would join the two sentences nicely.
a beautiful paua
or a hard-working oyster,
held up to a waiting ear-
would the ocean sing though me?

This is nice as most of us have held a seashell up to our ears and have had that feeling of expectation and hope ( well I have anyway) and the way you have incorporated it into this poem is just ....... well it's very, very nice.

Ooh, I like this. Like Nymph said, the expectancy that comes with seashells is incorporated coolly.

every shell
can hear the sound of the sea.
even the smallest,
the weakest, the most brittle, I think this line might run smoother without the second 'the'...
echoes with ocean music.
if Love You could maybe make from "Love" down a second stanza. Not sure, but you could try.
were an ocean-
if I were
a beautiful paua
or a hard-working oyster,
held up to a waiting ear-
would the ocean sing though me?

perhaps I’ll never know.
I love the last two lines.

The overall effect is beautiful and sweet and somehow sad. I loved it. Very nice.

Thanks - I've used some of your suggestions and fiddled around a bit, I think it works a lot better now Glad you like it. I've become very attached to it LOL.

How beautiful. Im a sucker for anything related to the sea, so im automatically in love with this piece. One of my favourites that i've read for a while actually, i really like this piece. Honestly, its gorgeous! *overwhelmed*

I hope Some day you will know how it feels to be a shell

though

Should this not be through?

A beautiful and imaginative piece of writing. It hadd a day dream feel to it. Very good poem!

every shell
can hear the sound of the sea.
even the smallest,
the weakest and most brittle
echo with ocean music.

for some odd reason, i didn't like this. it sounded...distant.