A Love Letter.

Dear Alyssa,

I have watched you through the years, my sweetheart. The guys that have liked you have mostly liked you for your looks, right? Well that is not the case with me. Yes, I do love your blonde wavy hair. It reminds me of the ocean, but its more beautiful. I love when the waves go all around, or to translate when the wind blows it. Your blue eyes remind me of the sky. Which you know I love to look at, it amazes me. Your eyes are far better then that Sky I'm obsessed with. Your height is amazing. I can imagine me holding your waist and you having to look up at me. I can imagine you going on the very tip of your toes to kiss me. I can imagine your arms fitting perfectly around my neck. I can imagine your long beautiful legs wrapped around my waist. I am attracted to you, Alyssa.

Okay, I know, that wont win you over. You don't need another guy who loves your looks. But what makes me difference is I don't only love your looks. I love your personality. I love how you ramble on, though you blush when you do it, embarrassed. Oh, your blush, that's amazing too. I love how your so easily excited. I love how easily you can tell when there's something wrong with me. That's a talent of yours. Though you would never agree, saying that you just care about people so you know everything about us. I love how your self conscious. Though I have sort of tricked you out of that. You still do it, having to explain everything so your not judged. I know you hate your mistakes you have made. But I love them, they have made you stronger. Who you are today. They help you help others. Alyssa, this list could go on forever, I love you.

I know you put friends before boyfriends. That, that's why I haven't asked you out. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Plus I think our friendship would be better anyway's, since your friendships are more important to you. But damn it Alyssa, I love you. I want to call you mine. I guess that will never happen, but maybe it will after you read this.

Love,
Peter

P.S.: Never mind, I'm not sending this. Just another letter I wrote you, unsent.

Hello helover97! Welcome to YWS, I'll be your reviewer for today!

Okay, so I didn't find any nitpickies, except, well, maybe a few uses of apostraphes here and there. There was a spot where you put "won't" like "wont" and "Friendships" like "friendship's" or something like that.

All together though, it was really great. I love how it talks about the love of personality, not just looks. But also, the looks I could totally see in my mind. It was very well written. Great job! Keep writing!

~Forest

I really liked this. A few things are a bit wrong, however.

This isn't wrong, but you come off as a tad obsessed. "I love your mistakes, your height is amazing"
I mean what the fudge? Her height is amazing? Maybe you could say, "Your size is perfect, the way you have to go on the tips of your toes to kiss me. The way your hands would fit around my neck" Or something, so it sounds a bit less dodgy

Yes you love her, but you could try not describing EVERYTHING as "I love..." Look over it and see how repetitive you get

I love how your self conscious.

Either: "I love how you're self conscious."
Or: "I love how you are self conscious."

This is so cute and sweet, if this is real, you should send it. That girl would looooovvveee you!

Kudos.

Biffle

Hi. I loved this.

Dear Alyssa,

I have watched you through the years, my sweetheart. The guys that have liked you have mostly liked you for your looks, right? Well that is not the case with me. Yes, I do love your blonde wavy hair. It reminds me of the ocean, but its more beautiful.( What is more beautiful? The hair? Then you should write 'they are' instead of its. And if you are talking about ocean then better think twice. A lover won't say that in a love letter.) I love when the waves go all around, or to translate when the wind blows it. Your blue eyes remind me of the sky. Which you know I love to look at, it amazes me. Your eyes are far better then that sky I'm obsessed with. Your height is amazing. I can imagine me holding your waist and you having to look up at me. I can imagine you going on the very tip of your toes to kiss me. I can imagine your arms fitting perfectly around my neck. I can imagine your long beautiful legs wrapped around my waist. I am attracted towards you, Alyssa.

Okay, I know, that won't win you over. You don't need another guy who loves your looks. But what makes me difference is I don't only love your looks. I love your personality. I love how you ramble on, though you blush when you do it, embarrassed. Oh, your blush, that's amazing too. I love how you're so easily excited. I love how easily you can tell when there's something wrong with me. That's a talent of yours. Though you would never agree, saying that you just care about people so you know everything about us. I love how you're self conscious. Though I have sort of tricked you out of that. You still do it, having to explain everything so your not judged. I know you hate your mistakes you have made them. But I love them, they have made you stronger. Who you are today? They help you help others. Alyssa, this list could go on forever, I love you.

I know you put friends before boyfriends. That, that's why I haven't asked you out. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Plus I think our friendship would be better anyway'ss, since your friendships are more important to you. But damn it Alyssa, I love you. I want to call you mine. I guess that will never happen, but maybe it will after you read this.

Love,

Peter

P.S.: Never mind, I'm not sending this. Just another letter I wrote you, unsent.

There were many errors which I have seen in other's work too so don't be worried. I love your concept and I hope you continue it. PM me when you come up with other part.

One quick thing: friendships should be "friendship's" or "friendship is"

Biffle xo

You are funny Biffle1. You are amazing!

Wow! welcome helover.

This is your first post and it was good , I liked it. It was truly sweet and romantic. Thank you for the read.

Hey helover, I'm KD, and I'll be your reviewer today!
Ooh, good idea. Here are your main problems: You state too obvious things. Also, there are better, more touching ways to say certain things in here. Because some of this isn't really very...romantic.

helover97 wrote:I am attracted to you, Alyssa.

Obviously! Take this out or put even more in the beginning.

helover97 wrote:I love your personality.

As I said, say this in a more touching and romantic way. How about: 'I love who you really are.'

helover97 wrote:Alyssa, this list could go on forever, I love you.

I don't think you need this 'I love you' here. You say it in the end, so save it for there.

Those are some parts that you can work on. So, think of better and more interesting ways to express feelings in this letter, and don't state the obvious! Besides that, there were some nitpickish problems, but other than that, I found this sweet, pleasant, and nice.

Keep on writing-

KD

P.S. Congrats on having this be your first piece, and first featured work! That's a great achievement.

Hello there. First off, let me introduce you to YWS! It's quite a feat to have your first work become featured. I've been on for almost a year now and I didn't get one of my pieces on to that list until last week. Congratulations!

I found lots of grammar problems, but those can be fixed, of course. I thought that the idea you had was touching and sweet, but it becomes repetitive at times. Try changing your wording so it sounds less like a list.

You've got some pretty good talent. Keep writing!

-youreit

Congrats on being featured. shubhiloves2write and everyone else seems to have gotten everything that I was gonna say... so yeah Like Biffle said, you should totally show this to Alyssa if this is real. If I were Alyssa I'd fall for Peter. *likes*

-Cressy

hello there!
Congratulations for being featured!!
I loved how you portray the man's love to his friend that's why I quoted it..

I know you put friends before boyfriends. That, that's why I haven't asked you out. I don't want to ruin our friendship. Plus I think our friendship would be better anyway's, since your friendships are more important to you. But damn it Alyssa, I love you. I want to call you mine. I guess that will never happen, but maybe it will after you read this.

ow... I'm not here to actually give informations on some wrong grammars. Just to let you know it's really nice!! keep it up!!

1st - Congrats for having this on the featured list! Pretty cool for someone who's reasonably new!!

2nd - I like that you praised Alyssa's personality. I know I personally like when people compliment my personality vs. my looks, because most girls (I'm sure) feel the same way I do. However, I know guys sometimes like our looks more than our personalities....

3rd - You have a couple of grammatical and spelling errors...make sure to read through your work before you publish it.

Overall, I thought this was really sweet. I also think you should send this letter to Alyssa, because I know I would want a guy to write me a love letter.
-Jane

I really enjoyed reading this I was touched by this how many guys would really write like this and really follow through. You should keep up the good work maybe I'll ask for your advice sometime.

Aw, how touching!

I do see plenty of grammar mistakes but, I even make those a lot. I think most of the others showed you your mistakes also.

I, as a girl, think this is just so romantic. But if you two are friends now, don't talk about making out with her so much because I find it kind of.. Awkward. Talk about your infinite love for her and how you would do anything for her. Don't go straight into how much you want to.. touch her, I guess. I also adore how 'I love you' occurred a lot in the letter. It's very sweet and makes a girl feel special that someone loves her that much. I'm glad you mentioned her appearance and personality because teen girls are most likely to spend plenty of time on how they look like, believe it or not. But girls don't like how guys judge only on their appearance all the time, so that's good.

Extremely romantic, I wish my boyfriend would send me things like that.. This girl better treat you well if you two end up together, though

PS: I apologize if I state 'my' opinion various times on how girls think. All girls are different, you know.