(Hi, first off, I'd like to say that I'm twelve, not eleven - the computer messed up. Also I'm new to this so there's almost definitely a lot of mistakes in here, so please will you just help me to correct them. Plus, I don't know what to rate it so...help?
Edit: this only the first part of chapter one and the rest has more character background, the only reason I didn't put everything on at once was because I lost my notebook. So a lot of stuff will make more sense when this part's completed. Also this is a serious story though it doesn't seem it here - so if you don't like heavier stuff, it's probably not for you)
Prologue
Roxanne
I like flowers.
I mean they’re the only things I can draw. I’m not that good at art, but flowers I can really do. Exotic, complex things with millions of petals, or just simple ones - they’re all beautiful.
I like flowers, that’s why I drew one on my hand.
***
CHAPTER ONE
I never wanted to say this,
You never wanted to stay,
I put my faith in you; so much faith,
And you just threw it away….
Paramore;
For a Pessimist I’m Pretty Optimistic
It was a crappy day, just one crappy day in a whole life of crappy days.
And then there was talk of a new school - which was bound to be crappy, and was, of course, my crappy family’s idea.
My life was crap.
I knew I was being a little harsh, but I was allowed to be - I was pissed.
We’d just got settled and then we were moving again. Okay, so it might have been my fault, but that wasn’t the point. Oh, who was I kidding? There was no point in arguing inside my head - there was only one thing I could do - pack.
Liz
I’d just told Roxanne the news we were moving - she didn’t take it well.
She threw. A shoe. At. My head!
The girl was deranged; she seriously needed therapy.
I mean, come on, she threw a shoe at my head.
Dad did try to put her in for counselling once, but she just didn’t turn up.
Stupid girl.
Anyway, it was HER fault we had to move, SHE got expelled again.
We didn’t have enough money to keep going from place to place, why couldn’t she just have kept her mouth shut and her head down - I mean, I’d actually liked to have kept some friends for more than six months.
Didn’t she get how hard this was on me? At our age a steady environment was vital. She should’ve been upset as well - but then again she was a freak.
I sighed, I missed Nathaniel. He was the only one who could seriously talk to Roxanne. Well, Damien could as well, but he wasn’t our brother - it wasn’t the same. There was only one other person who she’d ever spoken freely to, and there was only slightly more chance of seeing him again than there was of seeing Nathaniel. And…well, there was zero chance in that.
But there was no point in dwelling on depressing thoughts, I should know, I’d done enough of it in the past, so I thought about boys.
They were normally first and foremost in my mind but recent events had kind of filled up my brain so I’d forgotten about trying to date as many boys as I could before I became a legal adult. But, as I walked out of the house, an extremely cute boy reminded me of my record breaking attempt.
I quickly took out a little slip of paper from my pocket and wrote my number down. (A number I was lucky to have since I only had it because Rox said she didn’t need one) Then, as I walked past ECB (Extremely Cute Boy), I pretended to slip, and let the paper fall into plane sight. He couldn’t miss it really, bright pink as it was against the dark concrete.
He smiled and crouched down to get me up and then even grabbed the paper before it had time to be blown off.
“I think you dropped this.” He smiled. Up close I realised he was more than cute, he was seriously HOT.(And so has now been appropriately renamed Seriously Hot Boy AKA SHB) I
forced a blush into my cheeks and took the paper he held out. Then I appeared to change my mind and handed it back. “No…you keep it.” My cheeks were flaming red, there was no reason for him to doubt my performance.
Roxanne
I watched them out the window. It was sad really. How quickly boys were drawn to Liz. Sometimes I really wished it was different, that Liz actually cared when they followed her like puppies. I wished they knew what I knew - that they knew how it would end, knew that only tears and heartbreak would follow their collision with Liz.
But they didn’t know. And they wouldn’t believe it if you told them. Because of course there hadn’t been a million boys before them, and of course they hadn’t all been crushed under Liz’s heel. Yeah right.
Sometimes I wondered why she did it, but …it was her life, her problem, her own stupidity. Why should I care?
“Turn that bloody music down!” The only reason I actually heard my Dad was because he was now inside my (shared) room. He didn’t normally swear in the house but he hated my music too much to keep his temper - plus you couldn’t hear him outside a metre radius of the door.
I just stuck my fingers up at him.
He couldn’t have been surprised by that but he sure acted like it, since he stormed out and slammed the door - and he called me a drama queen.
I looked at the CD player… and turned the dial as far to the right as it would go.
Like I was going to listen to him.
I also don't really understand the flower part at the start. It doesn't really have a connection with the rest of the story. You should either get rid of it or somehow incorporate the flowers somewhere else in the story.