very short story, kinda mystery suspense

The End is Now

Bible camp, its been joked about and made fun of by almost every person at least once in their lives, and even though they would later laugh about it, a bus full of kids and one adult late on joining Gods company, are going exactly there as a commemoration for completing their first communion.
"alright everyone hold still a second while I get a head ..." Her voice stopped, the bus windshield became engulfed in light, heat poured in from all around, the boom dwarfed all other sounds and the bus jumped as the flames wrapped around it. Barely a second had past and all the bodies sat wrapped in fire, occupants vacant and blissfully unaware of what happened to their smoldering vessels.
Watching from inside the gas station he watched not with pain or villainous glee, but with envy. They were leaving this world wrought with misery on a journey ending in eternal bliss, still pure and innocent, if only suicide were not a damnable sin. Walking out amongst the growing crowd of rushing people he took a knee and prayed that the flock would join their Sheppard safely, thanking God for allowing him this part in tending to the heard.
Following the mass funeral cops swarmed the church the bus had departed from, questioning everyone involved with the trip. Officer Gram leading the investigation so far spoke with the only survivor of the explosion.
"So father where were you when the bomb went off?"
"I was still in the gas station, I sincerely regret that I was not on the bus with my flock."

Hello! Welcome to YWS! No reviews? You know, you might get more if you did some yourself. I'm sure people would appreciate them.

Basic Grammar

You really need to use a spell-checker, or at least read over what you've written. If nothing else, it's courtesy to the reviewer in showing you've put in a bit of effort. I'm talking about mistakes such as "its", "Gods" and various commas out-of-place. I'll leave to work out these problems.

Preaching

This is short - and that's not always a bad thing. But here, there's no chance to get to know any of the characters. We only really get to grips with the thoughts of the moment, and combined with long-winded sentences and an ambiguity that becomes plain annoying rather than vague, the result is of preaching. Telling us rather than exploring the thoughts.

As an atheist, I couldn't care less about "God's company" and the religious imagery of sheep-herding. Perhaps you wrote this targeted towards Christians, but you need to write it in a way that everyone can understand and appreciate - keep the religious imagery, but make it accustomed to the characters. What it means to them. How it affects their way on life - it's one way to include non-Christians in your audience. That's hard to fit into just a few paragraphs, though, and I really think this needs expanding.

Furthermore, you need to make a story out of this. I can't honestly tell you what happened in that story, and as such, I don't know what you were trying to achieve. If you lengthen it, you'll be able to include real characters in a real story. Be subtle, and don't preach.

So! I hope that helped a little. I did like the suspense at the end, but the religious imagery really knocked it out of place, in my opinion.

Best
Blinky

Bifflesocks is here to review.

This is going to be har as of the shortness. If this is supposed to be asuspense story, why does it happen so fast? Isn't suspense supposed to be painful, making us rush throught to see what happens. This piece didn't do that. It was just "Explosion, preaching, anticlimatical dialog ending."
Sorry to be harsh, but it doesn't really make sense either. You barely tell us much except Bivle camp, shappards, suicide being a damnable sin. I don't get any emotional reactions.

Kudos for the idea.

Bifflesocks