Nicole Narratives: "Back to Reality"

This story - may I call it that? a recount is a better word, I think - is told very entertainingly indeed. I was hooked when I started to read it, wondering what on earth it could be about; and you maintain this flow quite well throughout the course of the recount.

However, as a short-story writer, I would have to say that the 'It was all a dream' ending was incredibly unsatisfying, almost leaving me feeling cheated of an actual ending. Structurally, the crafting was leading me to believe that something else was happening entirely - she was fainting, catching a fever, startstruck, literally.

But I can see that you are trying to recount a vivid dream here, so I respect that you want to keep it as true to the facts as possible.

However, I would still recommend changing the ending, so that you finish off when she is 'getting farther and farther away.' (It should read 'further' - but I'm not too nit-picky about little errors). Instead, tell us it's a dream from the outset, and in a way so as to make it interesting, and so as to save us from feeling cheated by the ending.

Here is a little suggestion - some opening lines like: 'So, they say the dead sleep forever. Like a corpse. Like Sleeping Beauty. But...she woke up. Eventually. What's to say she wanted to wake up? I mean - she must have dreamed, right? And what if her dream was better than what she woke up to? We can't all wake up to a prince's kiss. And I, well, that's certainly not what I woke up to.'

Sorry - I only just read the very, very first line on this post in italics - I hope they ALL don't end in 'It was all a dream.' If they do...just, think about it.

Hey Navita,

I'm not very experienced with writing short stories, so thanks for the suggestions. Now that I re-read and think about the ending, I have to completely agree with you. It seems like more like the end of a chapter rather then the end of a story. Thanks again!