I'm not going to mention any nit-picks, mostly because everyone has pointed out anything that I would say! There's no need in me repeating what everyone else has said now, is there? It would be pretty pointless!
I didn't read this before you edited it but by the sound of it, it's improved a lot. I did take a quick look at Kara's first review where she copied and pasted the original, unedited version though. Judging on what I read, this has definitely improved! So well done for that. I myself am terrible at editing my work!
Overall, I really liked this idea actually. Normally, it wouldn't really be my kind of taste; but I enjoyed reading this very much. I like how you've written in a kind of old fashioned way. I would epically fail at that.
My only slight nit-pick is that I don't really feel connected to your characters as much as I'd like to be. That might be more of a personal thing though, I tend to feel closer to a character when the story's written in first person!
Great prologue! I really enjoyed reading it, just like all your other writings. Just a few things I should probably mention since last time I got told off because I didn't use critique ^^
The entire thing is very interesting to read, but somehow the characters don't seem to have more than one word to describe them. Reading it, I feel like the characters aren't as 'in depth' as I think they should be. The emporer is mean, yes, but what else about him? What other quirks or intriguing things define him?
Overall: AWESOME. Very good job!
When your life is based around the face of Sawyer from Lost you know you're officially obsessed. -- Join Isha's SB, the Shadows! And mine, Lament of Innocence! And LDR's, Dark Fey! And- ok, I'm going to shut up now.
All right. Normally I'd go over your mistakes and what nots, but everybody else seems to have been over them. So honestly, what's the point?
I thought the story was good, the story base seems solid. My only nit-pick would be how easily the king lets in the old dude, but again, even the king himself says he's going on a limb, so I guess it's somewhat okay then.
