Taste Of My Enemy. Chapter One.

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God, look at him. Kayla thought as she stared out of her window at the boy who lived next door to her. He truly is a disgusting person. She watched him with resentment, hating him undeniably. Patrick O'Rourke had never been on her favorites list, but the past year had caused her to despise the very site at him with a burning intensity. She hated everything about him. From the arrogant smile that turned up the corners of his mouth to the perfect composition of his face.
Kayla was a firm believer in God, and she beleieved that He had truly went over the top when creating Patrick O'Rourke. The boy was gorgeous, she had to admit with a certain resentment. He had golden hair that came down to his ears and always reflected the sunlight. His eyes were a bright green, with long, curling lashes that Kayla would kill for. His lips were the perfect amount of poutiness for a boy. His body was toned and muscular from countless lacrosse practices. He took his beauty and threw it in the face of every average looking person in the world, and that was why she hated him.
"See anything you like, Skinner?" drawled a lazy sounding voice. Patrick, suddenly right outside her window. His voice possessed the sort of arrogance that only Patrick O'Rourke could have. The corners of his mouth were turned up in a cocky smile, and she wanted nothing more than to smack it off him.
"I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole," she said with a hard certainty. "Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't looking at you, I was just checking to see how warm it was outside. Now go away, you dumb son of a bitch." she lied effortlessly. With that, she took the window and slammed it in his face. She walked away and stomped up the stairs to her room. On the way up, she heard a laugh and a loud, "I like it when you talk dirty to me!" Her face turned bright pink, but she ignored it and slammed her bedroom door shut. She played The Beatles and tried to forget the inufuriating face of Patrick smirking at her through the window. It just pissed her off even more.
Last edited by BeautifulDoom on Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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Can you spell perfection. It was simple and beautiful I liked the love/hate thing going on and it tickeled my funny bone. Please write more!
"I became insane,with long intervals of horrible insanity."

"Their ideology is that human nature is fundamentally evil.In other words, humans are evil from the day they are born."

"Human is beatiful. Perfect is boring."




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Aw, thank you! :] I will have Chapter Two up by tomorrow. <333
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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I really liked this one! i just saw the title of the chapter two you posted, so i went to go read chapter one because it looked like a catchy story. It was worth it! Thanks for a good read
zib :)
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I really like this, I really do. Your word choices are good for the most part, there is one or two real nit-picks I can find though, although, they might be personal preference? So, it is not set in stone what I have found :)
BeautifulDoom wrote:[i]despise the very site at him

Is that meant to be despise the very sight of him?

I would also like to know a bit more about Kayla, some characterisation of her could be good. It would help understand Patrick's personality also. Is he just pretending her likes her because she is actually ugly? or is she equally as beautiful as he is? and there might be a chance for something, and he is being serious with her?

That is all I can find within your work, and it is very, very good. Keep writing!

George x




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I loved this! the description is perfect, everything was amazing! If it were a movie i would try to get the MC role.
Nike :)
"If I look like a monster,' he says roughly, 'then no one will be surprised when I do monstrous things." - A.B. Poranek




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Really awesome story! Please PM me when you get Chapter 4 up, as you already have Chap. 2-3 up. Really cool!

~Hugs,
Rose
If you're mad at someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either
a rock star or an opera diva.


:3 ROSE WUZ HERE :3




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Smexx is here to review!

First of all, I love the name choice! Especially because my name is Kayla too!
This story is a typical everyday neighbourhood deal, but you have spiced it up in a way that is makes the readers want more!

I love it!

Keep going and make something REAL good of it!



xo
Smexx




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This is amazing. Here there are two amazing characters with a brilliant story to tell.

P.S: Thanks for my review



When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
— Alexander Den Heijer