Mountain Breeze (Tori's NaPo Thread)

I'm not sure if anyone else is making a NaPo thread like last year, but I want to make one. There's a good chance I won't be able to update this April 3rd-10th (Spring Break WOOHOO!), but hopefully it'll pick up after it's over. Though expect some depressing poetry a couple days after Spring Break. I hope the rest of y'all will make a thread! I'm looking forward to reading y'alls poems!

EDIT: I just read Howler's thread, and I love his idea of posting a song a day to go along with his poems. So I'm going to steal that idea. Sorry, Howler.

WARNING: I've never been the type of person to force out poems (regular writing, yes.) I normally just wait for inspiration to hit me and go from there. I obviously can't do that for NaPoWriMo, so be prepared for some suck-ish poetry.

April 1st-Poem: 1

Song(s) of the Poem:
-Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift
-Invisible by Taylor Swift

(Sorry for the Taylor Swift songs, I know a lot of people can't stand her. I'm predicting that a good deal of my poem "playlists" will be made up of Taylor Swift songs, but don't let that stop you from checking out my posts. )

Matt
Just an average popular boy
With above average looks
I first met him in 6th grade
When I dropped those blasted books
He bent down and picked them up
And as he smiled at me
I knew I had fallen in love.

Sorry for the cliche-ness of it, I promise you that I'm normally not this bad.

April 1st-Poem: 2

Song(s) of the Poem:
-Duck and Run by 3 Doors Down

Fahrenheit 451
It's not their fault
We gave them the power
Try to run
And they'll get you

Books
Gone
Front porches
Gone
Free thinking
Gone
Sanity
Long gone

Don't be scared
Don't be different
Follow their rules
And you'll be safe

Let me tell you what to
Hear
Let me tell you what to
Say
Let me tell you what to
Think
Let me tell you what to
Feel

Close your eyes
Count to ten
This will soon be gone
Close you eyes
Make a wish
Maybe you won't feel the burn


(This has obviously been based on the book Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, so I don't know if you'll understand it unless you've read the book.)

April 2nd-Poem: 3

Song(s) of the Poem:
-Cut by Plumb

Cry
It burns
It stings
It's many other things
It prickles behind my eyes
I can't hold it in
Sometimes I want to cry

A tear is shed
And I'm ashamed
No one can see me like this
They'll mock me for my weakness
And I'll be the one to blame

I want to talk to you
To tell you the truth
But the words don't come out
Let's call it a truce
You pretend to care
And I'll hide that I do
Because when we're old and cranky
And we're about to die
It won't matter that I ever cried

April 2nd-Poem: 4

Song of the Poem-
Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye

Mountains
I belong to them
They belong to the wind
They call to me at night
Whisper in my dreams
And lead me during the day
To their crystal streams
Off in the distance
They shadow me with their love
One day I'll go back to them
We'll become one once again
But for now it's just a whim
But one day, oh one day
I'll be with my mountains.

Hi, Tori! There's one line I really like in all of these poems:

Because when we're old and cranky
And we're about to die
It won't matter that I ever cried

It's a really interesting idea, about how it won't even matter later, but we'll still be cranky. Hehe. I really liked that idea, but I think that your poems could benefit from more poetic language. It's less like prose, and it takes a few more similes or metaphors, or interesting word combinations to make a poem that will stick with someone.

I think that's why poems really stick with people in their entirety, because it's not about the story so much as it is about how words were combined to tell the story in a new way.

Good luck and PM me if you have any questions!

-Hannah-

I epically failed this. We had Spring Break the 1st week of April, and I went to Disney World, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I was too tired to think, much less write a poem.