Spirit Sword - Chapter 5

2 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 15421
Reviews 158
Hey everyone. Here is the next chapter of the story I'm writing.
I hope you like it and all comments are welcome. :elephant:

Chapter 5

My name is Gia and I am the first of the Spirit Warriors.
I am learning about how our spirit can be used and how if can be manipulated.
I am fifteen and today is my birthing-day. I have been taught by a blue wolf called Mahir. He just appeared to me one evening eight sunrises ago. I do not know where he came from or what he is, but he has been helping me learn to control my spirit power and helping me with my sword practice.
He has had an idea of making a Spirit Sword, a sword that will be used by Spirit Warriors in the future. It will be made of the spirits of fire and water and the spirits of air and earth. It will be a sword for good, a sword that will be used to help the people of the village.
I will make it and stick it in the Tree of Spirits, were it will rest until the next Spirit Warrior comes. They will use it for good not evil and replace it when the time has come to stop being the Spirit Warrior, when the village is safe.
I want this to happen so the sword is used forever and always or until the chosen one appears. Anyone reading this may be thinking; How can I know this? How do I know there will be more Spirit Warriors? I know all this because Mahir has told me, he won’t tell me how he knows but he says he knows what is to come. The Spirit Warriors will be called upon through the generations to protect the village and its people.
I will make preparations for them to learn. I will teach the Witches of the village the way of a warrior so they may pass it down, Witch to Witch to teach the Spirit Warriors, but they will never be able to control or see the spirit that surrounds everything, so I leave that in Mahir’s capable paws.


The writing then stopped and I put the book down, thinking on what Gia had written. Who was the chosen one and where had Mahir come from?
With my questions and the book going around in my head, I fell asleep and dreamt that I was with Gia, and I watched her create the Spirit Sword and put it in the tree.

“Wake up,” I heard a voice call, from beside me. I opened my eyes and as everything came into focus, I saw Willow standing by my bed, holding a bowl in her hand. “Come on sleepy head, time to get up and eat.”
I sat up and Willow passed me the bowl. I ate, not even tasting the food, for I remembered that today I would be using the Spirit Sword for the first time.
When I’d finished eating, I followed Willow through the passages to the room were the sword was. When we got there I saw Mahir standing by the side of the tree.

“Good morning, Aspen,” he said, as I walked up to the tree and touched the hilt of the beautiful sword.
The room suddenly filled with a bright light. I stepped back and looked at Willow, she looked just as shocked as I felt, the only person in the room who didn’t have a look of complete shock was Mahir, and he was smiling.

When the light faded and Willow’s mouth had shut, I looked at Mahir and asked, “What was that?” Mahir just carried on smiling and I thought he didn’t hear me before, so I started to ask again, but he cut me off before I could make a sound.
“That, Aspen, was a sign,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking past me, to where Willow stood.
A look passed between them and then Willow left, without looking at me.
“Where has Willow gone?” I asked Mahir, looking into his bright blue eyes.
He evaded the question and just said, “I need you to pull the sword out of the tree so we get you used to using it.”
I nodded, wondering why he was avoiding the question.
I stood in front of the tree and braced myself for the weight of the sword, but when I pulled, I almost fell over. The sword was lighter than I could have ever guessed. When I had got my balance back, I swung the sword so I could get used to the weight of it. After a bit Mahir said, “Come on, try some of the moves you learnt yesterday.”
I didn’t say anything, just nodded and began to do what I had learnt yesterday.
This went on for a while until Mahir spoke again, “Now I want you to run through what you learnt in the village with Brandi.”
I stopped and thought back to my lessons with Brandi. As I thought, I realised that over the past two days I had forgotten about my life in the village, I had forgotten my family and friends.
“Come on, Aspen, concentrate.” Mahir’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I nodded again, still thinking of my family.
Mahir suddenly jumped at me. I started. “Get out of dream land, Aspen, you need to concentrate.”
“Sorry, Mahir. I was thinking of my family,” I said, looking at my feet, feeling ashamed.
“That is nothing to be ashamed off, missing your family and friends is part of what all Spirit Warriors go through,” Mahir said, his blue sparkling eyes looking me up and down.
“I have no friends in the village,” I said, “I do not miss the village, just my family.”
Mahir nodded, “The Spirit Warrior is always someone who does not fit in with the people in the village, but she always loves her family and that is who she fights to protect, her family.”
I looked at Mahir then back at the sword that I was holding in my hand, “Thank you, Mahir. Thank you for listening. Can you ask Willow when I can go back and see my family?”
“Why don’t you ask me yourself?” a voice said from behind me, I jumped and spun around holding up the sword, ready to attack. When I saw it was Willow I relaxed and she said, “It was good that you were ready for an attack then, I could have been anyone. In answer to your question, you can go back to the village the day before your birthing-day. In six days you will stand before the Elder and the Chief to see what you will become, though you already know, but it is tradition to announce it before the village. You will spend the night before with your family and have the traditional coming of age meal,” she smiled, “Now, you need to carry on with the sword practice.”
Mahir then went quite and the blue being from last night came back, its sword spinning even faster than before.
Each night I read Gia’s diary. Every morning I would go into the room where the Spirit tree stood and practiced with Mahir and the blue being.
Last edited by midnightread on Tue May 11, 2010 2:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.


Growing old is mandatory,
Growing up is optional.


Rugby is a thugs game played by gentle men,
Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 7650
Reviews 147
Hello, Hero here for a review.

Okay, firstly: I'd italicize the Book's writing. At first (I haven't read the other chapters) I thought you were writing on Gia and trust me, that was going to be a bad beginning. Whatever the case, it was okay, just remember to differentiate it from the main story.

missing your family and friends is part of what all Spirit Warriors,”

You didn't finish this sentence. :mrgreen:

I ate, not even tasting the food, for I remembered that today I would be using the Spirit Sword for the first time.

This was a good way of showing that your character was nervous, but I was distracted from that by this odd lack of taste buds :lol: No, rather say you didn't bother to savour the food or the meal or even appreciate that it was cooked because of your anxiety.

Otherwise, there was nothing wrong with this piece. It was really well done. (*Liked*)

Fly On,
Write On,
TheNewHero.



Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath; ravioli, ravioli, great barrier reef!
— Spongebob