I think this is really well done and awesomely awesome. This is just a prologue right? Oh wait yeah it is, hehehe I see it at the top.
I couldn't find any grammatical <--(I think that is how you spell it) in your writing but one somewhere in there, but who cares it's just one. I mean when I do it woah geez there's a whole heap lying around.
Your MC (Main Character, just saying it cause I didn't know it was called that till practically a few days ago).... GREAT! It has good making for an awesome thing that will happen...in the future!
But any who....I look forward to reading more and you should email me when you have the next one up. (Y) <--- (Thumbs up, another thing I didn't know till now)
Once again, Great Job and can't wait for more!
~Apple
PS. If you haven't noticed you should probably get someone else to do a better review. I am not the best.... (^.^)
Thanks, Apple. It's always a great feeling to get friendly feedback. I have more written, but it's from the perspective of the boy they mentioned, Felix. I'll post more later this week and let you know.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon
I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
These are all my favorite ratings so you just earned yourself a fan! PM me when you've posted more! ~Skittles
P.S - "May God have mercy on his vacant soul!!"
When life hands you lemons.....stuff them in your bra... Dear Edward, Piss off you poser ,Dracula Do you bite your thumb at me Sir?! My mama used to say life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what ur gunna get...
Hi Lumierre I like the beginning of this story. It is obviously about vampires but I want to know what Felix Danielle Hunter has done to deserve to be outlawed. I can't see anything wrong with it so I have no nit-picks. I think if you carry on writing then the story will be really, really good. Can you pm me when you post more? midnightread
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.
Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional.
Rugby is a thugs game played by gentle men, Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs.
Nothing really is wrong with it, besides that I like it
Great imagery, once again. I really like how the first sentence is a piece of dialogue and it really draws the reader in. You are able to keep us from getting bored (lucky you). I can't wait for the next chapter Oh...it's a novel!
Anyway, I really get the feel of being in a council of sorts, how people are speaking up and all. I feel like I am in the story
