The Part I Have Already Posted
Spoiler
Prologue
Beads of sweat were dripping down his arms, and then slowly falling into the crimson pool of blood at his feet. Tom examined the unconscious man. After he had decided the man wasn’t losing too much blood, he delved into his pocket to retrieve his PDA. He cursed when he realized it wasn’t there. He was going to have to use the old way of working out where he was. He knew roughly, but roughly wasn't good enough. Only roughly knowing something got people killed. He should know that better than anyone else. After all, only roughly knowing something had got his Mother killed.
Tom exited the men’s toilets, leaving their terrible miasma behind and entering the rush-hour crush of people at Tokyo’s Shinjuku train station. Due to Shinjuku been the busiest station in the world, someone was bound to find the unconscious man he had almost killed with his bare hands. He knew that he had to get away because soon the place would be crawling with police. He slipped in to stream of people that all seemed to be heading towards a train platform. He suppressed a smile when he saw where he was. The sign read Chou line platform, Chou line for Tokyo. Now Tom knew where he was for certain. He was exactly where he wanted to be. He reached into his pocket and took out his train ticket.
The train stopped and Tom got off. Tom wasn’t his real name; it was just the one he had been given for this mission. He smiled, his eyes shining as bright as supernova. He loved missions, the secrecy of it all. He quickly scanned the area for the Gents toilets. There he would wait for his target, like a hunter waits for his prey.
Yamamoto Kawamura had evaded the law for more than thirty two years, but now he had made his last mistake. He had become a man of habit, doing the same things day in day out, right down to which subway toilet he had a crap at.
Tom had successfully infiltrated Yamamoto’s house by making friends with Yamamoto’s son Yamada, but somehow Yamamoto’s bodyguard had realized that Tom wasn’t your average teenager. Now the bodyguard was unconscious and unless he had medical attention soon he could slip into a coma. Tom wasn’t going to let three months of a mission go to waste. Now he meant business. Four hours from now Yamamoto would be in a police interrogation room.
As soon as Tom heard someone enter the next cubicle along, he was on the floor looking at the man’s shoes. They matched Yamamoto’s. Tom slipped out of his cubicle and ran his finger down to door of Yamamoto’s, searching for the weakest spot. Confident, he kicked the door right on its weak spot and it shattered, spraying shards of plastic in Yamamoto’s surprised face.
“Tom. I don’t understand. Who are you?”
“That doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I don’t work for North Korea, stealing research from the Japanese. Oh, I don’t have control of the biggest snakehead in Japan either.”Tom didn’t give him chance to pull his trousers up. He grabbed Yamamoto’s hands, flipped him onto the floor and stood on his back.
“Otoko anata kebukai shiri ga!”
Tom exclaimed as he gagged Yamamoto with his jumper. Translated, it roughly meant “Man you have a hairy butt!” He knelt down and took a mobile out of Yamamoto’s pocket.. After a quick glance at the last call, one to A.Power.
“Yamamoto my friend, its time I made the call.”
If he hadn’t been bound and gagged by various items of clothing, Yamamoto would have had great satisfaction in killing Tom. He had already killed twelve undercover agents. After thirty two years of criminal activity, he had been beaten by a kid.
Chapter One
Three weeks and eight bust noses after starting school, Kyran had started Taekwondo, Karate, Judo, Strength and Stamina classes. He was fed up of being bullied. Now he had a brown belt in karate and a six pack to go along with it. To fund his training, he had hacked banks from all around the world, taking two pounds from half a million accounts. Officially he was a millionaire, but he couldn’t touch that money until he was 18, so he had to find another way of making money. His father’s business hadn’t been legit, so why should his? The beauty of the crime Kyran had committed was no one had noticed. That had been months ago, and now he had decided it was time to make a stand.
*
Kyran Power was a nerd. After two terms at high school he had suffered a fractured leg and countless bust noses, all inflicted by James Dunwell, the ultimate chav and Kyran’s worst enemy.
“Just you wait. I’m going to smash your head in at break.”
Kyran almost choked as he smelt James’ vile breath. It stank of smoke. It was double science, Kyran’s favourite lesson, and he had been partnered with James.
“You can do all the work. Don’t think I’m doing it. And if you get anything wrong, I’ll break you.”
Kyran kept a smile to himself as he wrote James first answer wrong.
“Question One. Who created the theory of Gravity? James Crosland, maybe you would like to share your answer instead of chatting?”
Mr Merrybell’s voice boomed across the classroom. Kyran suddenly felt his stomach knot with fear. What if James was too strong?
“Charles Darwin, Sir.”
The whole class cracked up laughing James turned bright red.
“Well James, if you had done the work given you instead of chatting and making Kyran do it all, you wouldn’t have got the question wrong. Detention.”
“But…” started James
“And make that an afterschool detention. Now, Kyran, can I count on you for the right answer?”
“Sir Isaac Newton, Sir”
“Well done, we have the right answer!”
James gave Kyran the dirtiest look ever. He whispered something to Kyran.
“Just you wait.”
“Fight, fight, fight!”
It seemed to Kyran the whole school was chanting. He was waiting for James to make a move. He knew it would give him an advantage if he could counteract it and get James on the floor. Then it came. James charged but at the last second Kyran stepped aside and flipped him over. All the girls screamed as Kyran ripped into James, pummelling his face into a bloody mess. After a minute, Kyran stepped back to admire his handiwork. Inside he felt sick but at the same time strangely satisfied. Then he realised his mistake right at the last moment, a split second before he felt his gut explode with pain as James fist connected with it. The fist turned into a hand that began to rip away Kyran’s shirt, revealing a six pack. There were several wolf whistles when Kyran’s muscles were revealed but he didn’t hear them as he went for James a second time, trying out several karate moves that did more the a roundhouse kick. There was a sickening crunch as James leg was snapped into an awkward V shape. As soon as he heard the bone break, Kyran stopped and looked James. He immediately wished he hadn’t. He looked awful and was screaming in pain. His leg was broken in at least three places and he was covered in blood. The crowd had broken up; most people had not been able to withstand the utter brutality of the attack. Then Kyran panicked. He would get in serious trouble for this. If his mum was still alive he would have been grounded indefinitely. He couldn’t face all that now. He had to get away. He turned and ran towards the gates.
Big Al’s was Kyran’s favourite diner in the world. It served the best burgers ever and the steak and chips was fantastic. Best of all, it was minutes away from Stanford bridge, the home of Kyran’s favourite football club, Chelsea. There was a match that night and Kyran had a season ticket. He had thought it would be the perfect place to escape everything, but he had kept on seeing people from school.
Now the match had begun, Big Al’s was deserted apart from the couple kissing in the corner. He ordered a special 1lb burger, his favourite, but couldn’t face up to eating it. He just kept on getting flashbacks from when his parents were alive, from when he first rode a bike, birthday parties, holidays and most off all, just before his dad went to prison.
Beads of sweat were dripping down his arms, and then slowly falling into the crimson pool of blood at his feet. Tom examined the unconscious man. After he had decided the man wasn’t losing too much blood, he delved into his pocket to retrieve his PDA. He cursed when he realized it wasn’t there. He was going to have to use the old way of working out where he was. He knew roughly, but roughly wasn't good enough. Only roughly knowing something got people killed. He should know that better than anyone else. After all, only roughly knowing something had got his Mother killed.
Tom exited the men’s toilets, leaving their terrible miasma behind and entering the rush-hour crush of people at Tokyo’s Shinjuku train station. Due to Shinjuku been the busiest station in the world, someone was bound to find the unconscious man he had almost killed with his bare hands. He knew that he had to get away because soon the place would be crawling with police. He slipped in to stream of people that all seemed to be heading towards a train platform. He suppressed a smile when he saw where he was. The sign read Chou line platform, Chou line for Tokyo. Now Tom knew where he was for certain. He was exactly where he wanted to be. He reached into his pocket and took out his train ticket.
The train stopped and Tom got off. Tom wasn’t his real name; it was just the one he had been given for this mission. He smiled, his eyes shining as bright as supernova. He loved missions, the secrecy of it all. He quickly scanned the area for the Gents toilets. There he would wait for his target, like a hunter waits for his prey.
Yamamoto Kawamura had evaded the law for more than thirty two years, but now he had made his last mistake. He had become a man of habit, doing the same things day in day out, right down to which subway toilet he had a crap at.
Tom had successfully infiltrated Yamamoto’s house by making friends with Yamamoto’s son Yamada, but somehow Yamamoto’s bodyguard had realized that Tom wasn’t your average teenager. Now the bodyguard was unconscious and unless he had medical attention soon he could slip into a coma. Tom wasn’t going to let three months of a mission go to waste. Now he meant business. Four hours from now Yamamoto would be in a police interrogation room.
As soon as Tom heard someone enter the next cubicle along, he was on the floor looking at the man’s shoes. They matched Yamamoto’s. Tom slipped out of his cubicle and ran his finger down to door of Yamamoto’s, searching for the weakest spot. Confident, he kicked the door right on its weak spot and it shattered, spraying shards of plastic in Yamamoto’s surprised face.
“Tom. I don’t understand. Who are you?”
“That doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I don’t work for North Korea, stealing research from the Japanese. Oh, I don’t have control of the biggest snakehead in Japan either.”Tom didn’t give him chance to pull his trousers up. He grabbed Yamamoto’s hands, flipped him onto the floor and stood on his back.
“Otoko anata kebukai shiri ga!”
Tom exclaimed as he gagged Yamamoto with his jumper. Translated, it roughly meant “Man you have a hairy butt!” He knelt down and took a mobile out of Yamamoto’s pocket.. After a quick glance at the last call, one to A.Power.
“Yamamoto my friend, its time I made the call.”
If he hadn’t been bound and gagged by various items of clothing, Yamamoto would have had great satisfaction in killing Tom. He had already killed twelve undercover agents. After thirty two years of criminal activity, he had been beaten by a kid.
Chapter One
Three weeks and eight bust noses after starting school, Kyran had started Taekwondo, Karate, Judo, Strength and Stamina classes. He was fed up of being bullied. Now he had a brown belt in karate and a six pack to go along with it. To fund his training, he had hacked banks from all around the world, taking two pounds from half a million accounts. Officially he was a millionaire, but he couldn’t touch that money until he was 18, so he had to find another way of making money. His father’s business hadn’t been legit, so why should his? The beauty of the crime Kyran had committed was no one had noticed. That had been months ago, and now he had decided it was time to make a stand.
*
Kyran Power was a nerd. After two terms at high school he had suffered a fractured leg and countless bust noses, all inflicted by James Dunwell, the ultimate chav and Kyran’s worst enemy.
“Just you wait. I’m going to smash your head in at break.”
Kyran almost choked as he smelt James’ vile breath. It stank of smoke. It was double science, Kyran’s favourite lesson, and he had been partnered with James.
“You can do all the work. Don’t think I’m doing it. And if you get anything wrong, I’ll break you.”
Kyran kept a smile to himself as he wrote James first answer wrong.
“Question One. Who created the theory of Gravity? James Crosland, maybe you would like to share your answer instead of chatting?”
Mr Merrybell’s voice boomed across the classroom. Kyran suddenly felt his stomach knot with fear. What if James was too strong?
“Charles Darwin, Sir.”
The whole class cracked up laughing James turned bright red.
“Well James, if you had done the work given you instead of chatting and making Kyran do it all, you wouldn’t have got the question wrong. Detention.”
“But…” started James
“And make that an afterschool detention. Now, Kyran, can I count on you for the right answer?”
“Sir Isaac Newton, Sir”
“Well done, we have the right answer!”
James gave Kyran the dirtiest look ever. He whispered something to Kyran.
“Just you wait.”
“Fight, fight, fight!”
It seemed to Kyran the whole school was chanting. He was waiting for James to make a move. He knew it would give him an advantage if he could counteract it and get James on the floor. Then it came. James charged but at the last second Kyran stepped aside and flipped him over. All the girls screamed as Kyran ripped into James, pummelling his face into a bloody mess. After a minute, Kyran stepped back to admire his handiwork. Inside he felt sick but at the same time strangely satisfied. Then he realised his mistake right at the last moment, a split second before he felt his gut explode with pain as James fist connected with it. The fist turned into a hand that began to rip away Kyran’s shirt, revealing a six pack. There were several wolf whistles when Kyran’s muscles were revealed but he didn’t hear them as he went for James a second time, trying out several karate moves that did more the a roundhouse kick. There was a sickening crunch as James leg was snapped into an awkward V shape. As soon as he heard the bone break, Kyran stopped and looked James. He immediately wished he hadn’t. He looked awful and was screaming in pain. His leg was broken in at least three places and he was covered in blood. The crowd had broken up; most people had not been able to withstand the utter brutality of the attack. Then Kyran panicked. He would get in serious trouble for this. If his mum was still alive he would have been grounded indefinitely. He couldn’t face all that now. He had to get away. He turned and ran towards the gates.
Big Al’s was Kyran’s favourite diner in the world. It served the best burgers ever and the steak and chips was fantastic. Best of all, it was minutes away from Stanford bridge, the home of Kyran’s favourite football club, Chelsea. There was a match that night and Kyran had a season ticket. He had thought it would be the perfect place to escape everything, but he had kept on seeing people from school.
Now the match had begun, Big Al’s was deserted apart from the couple kissing in the corner. He ordered a special 1lb burger, his favourite, but couldn’t face up to eating it. He just kept on getting flashbacks from when his parents were alive, from when he first rode a bike, birthday parties, holidays and most off all, just before his dad went to prison.
New Part:
Chapter Two
Kyran walked along, looking around warily. Punching out James could have serious repercussions, a lot worse than the police caution he had already been issued. Brian Dunwell, James dad was the kingpin of a huge drugs business nicknamed DD’s Gang. A week on he was starting to let his guard drop a bit, but he was careful not to drop into a false sense of security. That was exactly what his foe wanted him to do, the time they were waiting for, the time they would strike. Unbeknown to him though was the fact the people following and analyzing his every move were not members of Brian Dunwell’s drug cartel. They were the Youth Espionage and Surveillence Agency. They YESA
Rain fell, flooding the streets. Kyran hurried along, trying desperately to lose his tails. They had started following him as he had left Big Al’s, and now he was at the other side of town. He had realized now they were not just members of DD’s gang, they were highly trained elite individuals, not even breaking their stride, despite all the anti-surveillance routes Kyran was taking. The strangest thing was that they were no older than him, both either twelve or thirteen, still kids, yet by the way they were following Kyran they seemed to be trained to military standards. He turned round a corner, momentarily losing his pursuers. He dive into the nearest shop, fervently hoping they would just walk past, but realized his mistake a split-second too late. The street ahead was long and straight, and all the other shops were boarded up. There was only one place he could have gone, a dingy corner shop with only one exit and a fat man stocking up sweets. Kyran backed up into a fighting stance; waiting for his would be attackers. A tall, gangly teenager entered the store but Kyran ignored him. The people he was looking for were shorter and stockier. The teen picked up a chocolate bar and went to pay for it at the till. Kyran started to shuffle awkwardly out of hi fighting pose, confused as to where the two kids had gone. The teen finished paying for his chocolate and walked past Kyran, raising and slamming his hand into Kyran’s neck, making him fall on the floor, unconscious.
Updated Version
Spoiler
Prologue
Beads of sweat were dripping down his arms, then slowly falling into the crimson pool of blood at his feet. Tom peered at the half-dead man. After he had decided the man wasn’t losing too much blood, he delved into his pocket to retrieve his PDA. He cursed when he realized it wasn’t there. He was going to have to use the old way of getting back to Tokyo centre. The body guard had led him on quite a goose chase, and he only had twenty minutes to work out how get to his destination. He knew roughly, but roughly wasn't good enough. Only roughly knowing something got people killed. He should know that better than anyone else. After all, only roughly knowing something had got his Mother killed
Tom exited the men’s toilets, leaving their terrible miasma behind and entering the rush-hour crush of people at Tokyo’s Shinjuku train station. Due to Shinjuku been the busiest station in the world, someone was bound to find the unconscious man lying on the white tiled floor. The fire alarm wouldn’t hold people off for long. Tom could already imagine to rolls of police tape, the sirens and news crew that would soon be crawling all over the place. He slipped in to stream of people that all seemed to be heading towards a train platform. He suppressed a smile when he saw where he was. The sign read Chou line platform, Chou line for Tokyo. Now Tom knew where he was for certain. He was exactly where he wanted to be. He reached into his pocket and took out his train ticket.
The train stopped and Tom got off. Tom wasn’t his real name; it was just the one he had been given for this mission. He smiled, his eyes shining as bright as supernova. He loved missions, the secrecy of it all. He quickly scanned the area for the Gents toilets. There he would wait for his target, like a lion stalking its prey.
Yamamoto Kawamura had evaded the law for more than thirty two years, but now he had made his last mistake. He had become a man of habit, doing the same things day in day out, right down to which subway toilet he had a crap at.
Tom had successfully infiltrated Yamamoto’s house by making friends with Yamamoto’s son Yamada, but somehow Yamamoto’s bodyguard had realized that Tom wasn’t your average teenager. Now the bodyguard was unconscious and unless he had medical attention soon he could slip into a coma. Tom wasn’t going to let three months of a mission go to waste. Now he meant business. Four hours from now Yamamoto would be in a police interrogation room.
As soon as Tom heard someone enter the next cubicle along, he was on the floor looking at the man’s shoes. They matched Yamamoto’s. Tom slipped out of his cubicle and ran his finger down to door of Yamamoto’s, searching for the weakest spot. Confident, he kicked the door right on its weak spot and it shattered, spraying shards of plastic in Yamamoto’s surprised face.
"Tom?" he exclaimed in his strong accent "I don't understand! Wha- Wh... Who are you?"
“That doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I don’t work for North Korea, stealing research from the Japanese. Oh, I don’t have control of the biggest snakehead in Japan either. Tom didn’t give him chance to pull his trousers up. He grabbed Yamamoto’s hands, flipped him onto the floor and stood on his back.
“anatano koomon wa kebukai desu!”
Tom exclaimed as he gagged Yamamoto with his jumper. Translated, it roughly meant “Man you have a hairy butt!” He knelt down and took a mobile out of Yamamoto’s pocket.. After a quick glance at the last call, one to A. Power.
“Yamamoto my friend, its time I made the call.”
If he hadn’t been bound and gagged by various items of clothing, Yamamoto would have had great satisfaction in killing Tom. He had already killed twelve undercover agents. After thirty two years of criminal activity, he had been beaten by a kid.
Chapter One
Three weeks and eight bust noses after starting school, Kyran had started Taekwondo, Karate, Judo, Strength and Stamina classes. He was fed up of being bullied. Now he had a brown belt in karate and a six pack to go along with it. To fund his training, he had hacked banks from all around the world, taking two pounds from half a million accounts. Officially he was a millionaire, but he couldn’t touch that money until he was 18, so he had to find another way of making money. His father’s business hadn’t been legit, so why should his? The beauty of the crime Kyran had committed was no one had noticed. That had been months ago, and now he had decided it was time to make a stand.
*
Kyran Power was a nerd. After two terms at high school he had suffered a fractured leg and countless bust noses, all inflicted by James Dunwell, the ultimate chav and Kyran’s worst enemy.
“Just you wait. I’m going to smash your head in at break.”
Kyran almost choked as he smelt James’ vile breath. It stank of smoke. It was double science, Kyran’s favourite lesson, and he had been partnered with James.
“You can do all the work. Don’t think I’m doing it. And if you get anything wrong, I’ll break you.”
Kyran kept a smile to himself as he wrote James first answer wrong.
“Question One. Who created the theory of Gravity? James Crosland, maybe you would like to share your answer instead of chatting?”
Mr Merrybell’s voice boomed across the classroom. Kyran suddenly felt his stomach knot with fear. What if James was too strong?
“Charles Darwin, Sir.”
The whole class cracked up laughing James turned bright red.
“Well James, if you had done the work given you instead of chatting and making Kyran do it all, you wouldn’t have got the question wrong. You have just earned yourself a detention.”
“But…” started James
“And make that an afterschool detention. Now, Kyran, can I count on you for the right answer?”
“Sir Isaac Newton, Sir”
“Well done, we have the right answer!”
James gave Kyran the dirtiest look ever. He whispered something to Kyran.
“Just you wait.”
“Fight, fight, fight!”
It seemed to Kyran the whole school was chanting. He was waiting for James to make a move. He knew it would give him an advantage if he could counteract it and get James on the floor. Then it came. James charged but at the last second Kyran stepped aside and flipped him over. All the girls screamed as Kyran ripped into James, pummelling his face into a bloody mess. After a minute, Kyran stepped back to admire his handiwork. Inside he felt sick but at the same time strangely satisfied. Then he realised his mistake right at the last moment, a split second before he felt his gut explode with pain as James fist connected with it. The fist turned into a hand that began to rip away Kyran’s shirt, revealing a six pack. There were several wolf whistles when Kyran’s muscles were revealed but he didn’t hear them as he went for James a second time, trying out several karate moves that did more the a roundhouse kick. There was a sickening crunch as James leg was snapped into an awkward V shape. As soon as he heard the bone break, Kyran stopped and looked James. He immediately wished he hadn’t. He looked awful and was screaming in pain. His leg was broken in at least three places and he was covered in blood. The crowd had broken up; most people had not been able to withstand the utter brutality of the attack. Then Kyran panicked. He would get in serious trouble for this. If his mum was still alive he would have been grounded indefinitely. He couldn’t face all that now. He had to get away. He turned and ran towards the gates.
Big Al’s was Kyran’s favourite diner in the world. It served the best burgers ever and the steak and chips was fantastic. Best of all, it was minutes away from Stanford bridge, the home of Kyran’s favourite football club, Chelsea. There was a match that night and Kyran had a season ticket. He had thought it would be the perfect place to escape everything, but he had kept on seeing people from school.
Now the match had begun, Big Al’s was deserted apart from the couple kissing in the corner. He ordered a special 1lb burger, his favourite, but couldn’t face up to eating it. He just kept on getting flashbacks from when his parents were alive, from when he first rode a bike, birthday parties, holidays and most off all, just before his dad went to prison.
Chapter Two
Kyran walked along, looking around warily. Punching out James could have serious repercussions, a lot worse than the police caution he had already been issued. Brian Dunwell, James dad was the kingpin of a huge drugs business nicknamed DD’s Gang. A week on he was starting to let his guard drop a bit, but he was careful not to drop into a false sense of security. That was exactly what his foe wanted him to do, the time they were waiting for, the time they would strike. Unbeknown to him though was the fact the people following and analyzing his every move were not members of Brian Dunwell’s drug cartel. They were the Youth Espionage and Surveillance Agency. They YESA
Rain fell, flooding the streets. Kyran hurried along, trying desperately to lose his tails. They had started following him as he had left Big Al’s, and now he was at the other side of town. He had realized now they were not just members of DD’s gang, they were highly trained elite individuals, not even breaking their stride, despite all the anti-surveillance routes Kyran was taking. The strangest thing was that they were no older than him, both either twelve or thirteen, still kids, yet by the way they were following Kyran they seemed to be trained to military standards. He turned round a corner, momentarily losing his pursuers. He dive into the nearest shop, fervently hoping they would just walk past, but realized his mistake a split-second too late. The street ahead was long and straight, and all the other shops were boarded up. There was only one place he could have gone, a dingy corner shop with only one exit and a fat man stocking up sweets. Kyran backed up into a fighting stance; waiting for his would be attackers. A tall, gangly teenager entered the store but Kyran ignored him. The people he was looking for were shorter and stockier. The teen picked up a chocolate bar and went to pay for it at the till. Kyran started to shuffle awkwardly out of hi fighting pose, confused as to where the two kids had gone. The teen finished paying for his chocolate and walked past Kyran, raising and slamming his hand into Kyran’s neck, making him fall on the floor, unconscious.
*
“Welcome,my friend.” The blindfold around Kyran’s eyes was untied and he immediately screwed his eyes up. He looked around, taking in the sight. In front of him was a large, frameless glass window. More impressive though was the view out of the window. There was a huge army grade obstacle course, in the middle of a field that stretched for miles. On the obstacle course there were several children, the youngest been about six and the oldest eighteen. But that was not the reason Kyran’s mouth was hanging open. “Welcome to YESA” The voice boomed again, filling the huge room with the sound. Kyran couldn’t see the man, but he recognised the voice. “Wha- Wh… What’s YESA? Young Emerging Scientists of Africa or something?” “YESA stands for the Youth Espionage and Surveillance Agency.”
Beads of sweat were dripping down his arms, then slowly falling into the crimson pool of blood at his feet. Tom peered at the half-dead man. After he had decided the man wasn’t losing too much blood, he delved into his pocket to retrieve his PDA. He cursed when he realized it wasn’t there. He was going to have to use the old way of getting back to Tokyo centre. The body guard had led him on quite a goose chase, and he only had twenty minutes to work out how get to his destination. He knew roughly, but roughly wasn't good enough. Only roughly knowing something got people killed. He should know that better than anyone else. After all, only roughly knowing something had got his Mother killed
Tom exited the men’s toilets, leaving their terrible miasma behind and entering the rush-hour crush of people at Tokyo’s Shinjuku train station. Due to Shinjuku been the busiest station in the world, someone was bound to find the unconscious man lying on the white tiled floor. The fire alarm wouldn’t hold people off for long. Tom could already imagine to rolls of police tape, the sirens and news crew that would soon be crawling all over the place. He slipped in to stream of people that all seemed to be heading towards a train platform. He suppressed a smile when he saw where he was. The sign read Chou line platform, Chou line for Tokyo. Now Tom knew where he was for certain. He was exactly where he wanted to be. He reached into his pocket and took out his train ticket.
The train stopped and Tom got off. Tom wasn’t his real name; it was just the one he had been given for this mission. He smiled, his eyes shining as bright as supernova. He loved missions, the secrecy of it all. He quickly scanned the area for the Gents toilets. There he would wait for his target, like a lion stalking its prey.
Yamamoto Kawamura had evaded the law for more than thirty two years, but now he had made his last mistake. He had become a man of habit, doing the same things day in day out, right down to which subway toilet he had a crap at.
Tom had successfully infiltrated Yamamoto’s house by making friends with Yamamoto’s son Yamada, but somehow Yamamoto’s bodyguard had realized that Tom wasn’t your average teenager. Now the bodyguard was unconscious and unless he had medical attention soon he could slip into a coma. Tom wasn’t going to let three months of a mission go to waste. Now he meant business. Four hours from now Yamamoto would be in a police interrogation room.
As soon as Tom heard someone enter the next cubicle along, he was on the floor looking at the man’s shoes. They matched Yamamoto’s. Tom slipped out of his cubicle and ran his finger down to door of Yamamoto’s, searching for the weakest spot. Confident, he kicked the door right on its weak spot and it shattered, spraying shards of plastic in Yamamoto’s surprised face.
"Tom?" he exclaimed in his strong accent "I don't understand! Wha- Wh... Who are you?"
“That doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I don’t work for North Korea, stealing research from the Japanese. Oh, I don’t have control of the biggest snakehead in Japan either. Tom didn’t give him chance to pull his trousers up. He grabbed Yamamoto’s hands, flipped him onto the floor and stood on his back.
“anatano koomon wa kebukai desu!”
Tom exclaimed as he gagged Yamamoto with his jumper. Translated, it roughly meant “Man you have a hairy butt!” He knelt down and took a mobile out of Yamamoto’s pocket.. After a quick glance at the last call, one to A. Power.
“Yamamoto my friend, its time I made the call.”
If he hadn’t been bound and gagged by various items of clothing, Yamamoto would have had great satisfaction in killing Tom. He had already killed twelve undercover agents. After thirty two years of criminal activity, he had been beaten by a kid.
Chapter One
Three weeks and eight bust noses after starting school, Kyran had started Taekwondo, Karate, Judo, Strength and Stamina classes. He was fed up of being bullied. Now he had a brown belt in karate and a six pack to go along with it. To fund his training, he had hacked banks from all around the world, taking two pounds from half a million accounts. Officially he was a millionaire, but he couldn’t touch that money until he was 18, so he had to find another way of making money. His father’s business hadn’t been legit, so why should his? The beauty of the crime Kyran had committed was no one had noticed. That had been months ago, and now he had decided it was time to make a stand.
*
Kyran Power was a nerd. After two terms at high school he had suffered a fractured leg and countless bust noses, all inflicted by James Dunwell, the ultimate chav and Kyran’s worst enemy.
“Just you wait. I’m going to smash your head in at break.”
Kyran almost choked as he smelt James’ vile breath. It stank of smoke. It was double science, Kyran’s favourite lesson, and he had been partnered with James.
“You can do all the work. Don’t think I’m doing it. And if you get anything wrong, I’ll break you.”
Kyran kept a smile to himself as he wrote James first answer wrong.
“Question One. Who created the theory of Gravity? James Crosland, maybe you would like to share your answer instead of chatting?”
Mr Merrybell’s voice boomed across the classroom. Kyran suddenly felt his stomach knot with fear. What if James was too strong?
“Charles Darwin, Sir.”
The whole class cracked up laughing James turned bright red.
“Well James, if you had done the work given you instead of chatting and making Kyran do it all, you wouldn’t have got the question wrong. You have just earned yourself a detention.”
“But…” started James
“And make that an afterschool detention. Now, Kyran, can I count on you for the right answer?”
“Sir Isaac Newton, Sir”
“Well done, we have the right answer!”
James gave Kyran the dirtiest look ever. He whispered something to Kyran.
“Just you wait.”
“Fight, fight, fight!”
It seemed to Kyran the whole school was chanting. He was waiting for James to make a move. He knew it would give him an advantage if he could counteract it and get James on the floor. Then it came. James charged but at the last second Kyran stepped aside and flipped him over. All the girls screamed as Kyran ripped into James, pummelling his face into a bloody mess. After a minute, Kyran stepped back to admire his handiwork. Inside he felt sick but at the same time strangely satisfied. Then he realised his mistake right at the last moment, a split second before he felt his gut explode with pain as James fist connected with it. The fist turned into a hand that began to rip away Kyran’s shirt, revealing a six pack. There were several wolf whistles when Kyran’s muscles were revealed but he didn’t hear them as he went for James a second time, trying out several karate moves that did more the a roundhouse kick. There was a sickening crunch as James leg was snapped into an awkward V shape. As soon as he heard the bone break, Kyran stopped and looked James. He immediately wished he hadn’t. He looked awful and was screaming in pain. His leg was broken in at least three places and he was covered in blood. The crowd had broken up; most people had not been able to withstand the utter brutality of the attack. Then Kyran panicked. He would get in serious trouble for this. If his mum was still alive he would have been grounded indefinitely. He couldn’t face all that now. He had to get away. He turned and ran towards the gates.
Big Al’s was Kyran’s favourite diner in the world. It served the best burgers ever and the steak and chips was fantastic. Best of all, it was minutes away from Stanford bridge, the home of Kyran’s favourite football club, Chelsea. There was a match that night and Kyran had a season ticket. He had thought it would be the perfect place to escape everything, but he had kept on seeing people from school.
Now the match had begun, Big Al’s was deserted apart from the couple kissing in the corner. He ordered a special 1lb burger, his favourite, but couldn’t face up to eating it. He just kept on getting flashbacks from when his parents were alive, from when he first rode a bike, birthday parties, holidays and most off all, just before his dad went to prison.
Chapter Two
Kyran walked along, looking around warily. Punching out James could have serious repercussions, a lot worse than the police caution he had already been issued. Brian Dunwell, James dad was the kingpin of a huge drugs business nicknamed DD’s Gang. A week on he was starting to let his guard drop a bit, but he was careful not to drop into a false sense of security. That was exactly what his foe wanted him to do, the time they were waiting for, the time they would strike. Unbeknown to him though was the fact the people following and analyzing his every move were not members of Brian Dunwell’s drug cartel. They were the Youth Espionage and Surveillance Agency. They YESA
Rain fell, flooding the streets. Kyran hurried along, trying desperately to lose his tails. They had started following him as he had left Big Al’s, and now he was at the other side of town. He had realized now they were not just members of DD’s gang, they were highly trained elite individuals, not even breaking their stride, despite all the anti-surveillance routes Kyran was taking. The strangest thing was that they were no older than him, both either twelve or thirteen, still kids, yet by the way they were following Kyran they seemed to be trained to military standards. He turned round a corner, momentarily losing his pursuers. He dive into the nearest shop, fervently hoping they would just walk past, but realized his mistake a split-second too late. The street ahead was long and straight, and all the other shops were boarded up. There was only one place he could have gone, a dingy corner shop with only one exit and a fat man stocking up sweets. Kyran backed up into a fighting stance; waiting for his would be attackers. A tall, gangly teenager entered the store but Kyran ignored him. The people he was looking for were shorter and stockier. The teen picked up a chocolate bar and went to pay for it at the till. Kyran started to shuffle awkwardly out of hi fighting pose, confused as to where the two kids had gone. The teen finished paying for his chocolate and walked past Kyran, raising and slamming his hand into Kyran’s neck, making him fall on the floor, unconscious.
*
“Welcome,my friend.” The blindfold around Kyran’s eyes was untied and he immediately screwed his eyes up. He looked around, taking in the sight. In front of him was a large, frameless glass window. More impressive though was the view out of the window. There was a huge army grade obstacle course, in the middle of a field that stretched for miles. On the obstacle course there were several children, the youngest been about six and the oldest eighteen. But that was not the reason Kyran’s mouth was hanging open. “Welcome to YESA” The voice boomed again, filling the huge room with the sound. Kyran couldn’t see the man, but he recognised the voice. “Wha- Wh… What’s YESA? Young Emerging Scientists of Africa or something?” “YESA stands for the Youth Espionage and Surveillance Agency.”
Oh geeky humor 
Anyway, into the review!
You achieved this with Tom, I already have an idea of the kind of character we're going to see for the rest of the book. Kyran... I'm not so sure. I dunno, you could have done some work with him. And you gave almost no facts about him (Hobbies, Personality, Aspirations)...
Try to re-write Kyran's scene. First tell us about his history and who he wants to be. Tell us his obstacle with the bully and what he's done. Then have him solve it.
