Rephaim: [1] Lover, You're So Amusing Yet Oh So Confusing

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Rephaim

Chapter One:
Lover, You're So Amusing Yet Oh So Confusing

"And tonight, I want you all to write a short story of your choice."
The bell rang at its highest possible octave.
"Make it no longer than 5000 words. Have a good day everyone."
As his students flooded out of his classroom, Drew Berlaux sighed an excited sigh. He loved reading the stories of his students. His last class was the most creative and came up with the most creative material. It was fourth period AP Creative Writing that always had him smiling at the end of the day.
Just as he was packing up his things, a knock came from his door.
"Come in." he called as a handsome fellow teacher sauntered into the room.
Drew smiled as Bryce Carson came into his classroom. His sapphire eyes glimmered vibrantly and his black hair was spiked in sporadic places. He came up to Drew and smiled at him, Drew continuing to pack away his ungraded papers.
"Hey Drew." Bryce said.
"Hey Bryce."
Bryce Carson watched as Drew finished packing his things. The vent above them ruffled Drew's light brown hair slightly. His green irises were glistening emeralds perfectly cut to insure better luminosity. Bryce couldn't help but grin at the sight.
"So," Drew started as he looked into the eyes of his co-worker. "What brings you to my classroom?"
"Well, I wanted to ask you something."
"Oh. Alright."
Drew stood up from his chair, waiting for Bryce to continue.
"We've been good friends for about six months, right?" Drew nodded, giving Bryce a hint to go on. "We've hung out together with our friends. And I was wondering if maybe-"
Bryce was cut off by Drew's cell phone ringing to the tune of Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face'. Drew checked to see who was calling him and then looked back at Bryce.
"I'm sorry. Hold that thought."
"Sure."
When Drew answered his phone, Bryce had to admit that he was a little more than disappointed.
"Hello? Gabby, hey. What?" Drew sighed. "Damn. I'll be right there."
He closed his phone and looked back at Bryce as he slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. "I'm sorry, Bryce. My sister's car broke down and I have to go get her." Drew picked his bag up. "Call or text me later about what you wanted to talk about. Okay?"
Bryce feigned a smile. "Yeah, sure."
Drew smiled as he patted Bryce on the shoulder before leaving the classroom. Bryce Carson sighed severely at the fact that his chance was gone and at the fact that his courage was officially depleted, without chance of it returning anytime soon.

"Gabby, you just need a new car."
Gabrielle Berlaux grunted in frustration. Her car's engine was destroyed and her transmission was shot. It would cost just as much to replace the parts as it would to just get a decent used car.
"But I love that car. Maybe Abe can help fix it."
Drew laughed at her proposal. "I don't care if our brother, whom I'd like to add is still in high school, is an auto genius. Not even Abe could fix that mess."
Gabby nodded in agreement as she sighed. She plopped down on the chocolate hue furniture and reclined in an attempt to calm her nerves. Drew laughed at her a little as they rested in the living room of the house they shared.
"So," Gabby said as Drew sat down next to her. "I was talking to Jenna today and she wants us to hang out tomorrow with Chris and Torrance."
"Jenna as in Bryce's Jenna?"
Gabby nodded. "He'll probably come too."
"Cool."
Drew too reclined in his chair as Gabby looked him over, sensing his unease.
"You like Bryce."
Drew looked at his younger sister instantly. "What?"
"Don't lie. He is pretty mouthwatering."
"Gabby!"
She laughed. "What? It's true. So, do you like him?"
Drew just turned away from her. Gabby laughed once more. "You do." she cooed.
"Doesn't matter. He likes Jenna. You know how they are. All flirty and stuff."
"Yeah, maybe. Or maybe he plays for both teams."
He laughed at Gabby as he got to his feet and off the couch. "Whatever you say, Gabby. I'm gonna go take a shower."
She nodded as he left the room for his personal bathroom. Gabby smiled maliciously and took out her phone and called a certain number.
"Jenna? Hey, it's Gabby. Make sure Bryce comes to the club tomorrow." she smiled again. "It's gonna be one hell of a night."

The next day, Abram Berlaux was really dreading school. He didn't want to see Clare Johnson after she had broken up with him last night. Abe just wanted to skip school, but he already had two tests today. There was no skipping. Abe was in the hallway of Rephaim High School and walked up to his locker.
"Abe!"
He looked around and saw Clare running toward him. Abe rolled his eyes and rummaged through his locker, seeking his Calculus book.
"Abe, please."
Clare Johnson was gorgeous. Her skin was flawless. Her eyes were a deep honey. And her hair was blonde and curled to perfection.
Not looking at her, Abe said, "Save it, Clare. We're done, remember?" Abe slammed his locker shut, Calculus book in hand.
He started to walk away when Clare grabbed his arm. He reluctantly turned around to face his now ex-girlfriend.
"Abe, I'm sorry. We've got twenty minutes before first period. Let's talk."
He yanked his hand from Clare's grasp, causing her to recoil.
"There's nothing to talk about. It's over."
Abe walked away from the girl he once loved and stormed down the hall until he came to his brother's empty classroom.
Drew was grading some papers when his younger brother Abe walked in. Drew noticed how angry Abe seemed.
"Abe, what's up?"
"Why are girls so fucking stupid!?"
Drew laughed at his brother's outburst. "You think I'd be gay if I knew the answer to that?" he smiled.
"Lucky." Abe scoffed.
Drew got up from his desk and placed a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "Problems with Clare?"
Abe nodded. "She broke up with me because her parents 'don't want her to date', which I know is a lie. We're Seniors and we're eighteen. What's the problem?"
"I'm sorry, Abe."
"And Mom and Dad are being 'supportive'."
Drew winced. "Ew."
Abe smiled. "Yeah."
Just then, someone knocked on the open door in the classroom. Bryce Carson smiled at them.
"Am I interrupting?"
"Not really. Just girl-bashing." Abe said to Bryce as he looked back at his brother. "Thanks, Drew." Abe smiled as he left the room. As he past Bryce, he said, "See you in first, Mr. Carson."
Abe walked out of the classroom and left Bryce and Drew alone. Bryce saw Drew walk back to his desk and continued to grade papers.
"So, I'm sorry I didn't text you last night." Bryce said. "But what I want to talk about is more of an in-person conversation." Bryce leaned on Drew's desk. When Drew looked into Bryce's cobalt eyes, there was a certain spark in his eyes that excited Drew. Maybe Gabby had been right before. Maybe Bryce would reciprocate Drew's feelings.
"Yeah?" Drew said with newfound hope.
Bryce smiled brightly. "Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if maybe..."
When Bryce stopped, Drew thought he was going to implode from anticipation. "Maybe what?"
He laughed hesitantly. "This is kind of embarrassing."
Drew smiled. "Bryce, it's just me. What is it?"
Smiling, Bryce decided to just ask him. "Okay. Here goes." Drew leaned toward Bryce, awaiting his question. "Do you think Jenna likes me?"
That was it. That was all it took for Drew to lose it. Every time he had hope, it was repeatedly crushed. This time didn't fail to depress.
"Oh." was all Drew could say as his smile faded. Bryce noticed his change.
"Drew? You okay?"
"Yeah." he feigned a vibrant smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Good." Bryce stated. "So, you think she does?"
Sighing mentally, Drew said, "I don't know, Bryce. Ask her yourself."
Drew then looked as if he was invested in the grading of his students' papers. Bryce took this as Drew might be hurt by the question. Then, it dawned on him as to what the problem was.
"Oh. Well thanks. I'll, uh." Bryce stepped back from the desk. "I'll talk to you later."
As Bryce left the classroom, the bell rang. And Drew Berlaux couldn't help but feel stupid for thinking he ever had a chance at finding love.

Gabrielle Berlaux was a beautiful woman. For years, she had gotten away with countless things because of her excruciating beauty. Whether it was breaking something that wasn't hers, or lying to her boyfriends, or stealing money from a dying and generous relative, she had her looks to thank for her luck. And when she went to buy a new car, this instance was no exception.
"I just need something that runs smoothly." She told the car salesman.
He smiled at her. "Of course, Ms. Berlaux. Right this way."
Gabby followed the man to a breathtaking used Mitsubishi Eclipse. Her mouth dropped at the sight of the vehicle. The shade of the car was a gorgeous hue of purple and Gabby simply had to have it.
"Oh my god! This is perfect. How much?"
"$20,977."
"Once again, Gabby's mouth dropped in horror. "20 grand? I can't afford that."
Gabby looked at the man intensely and with severe seduction. "Are you sure," she started to run her hand up and down his arm. "That you can't lower the price to somewhere around 14 grand?"
She heard him make some noise in response to the touch. He cleared his throat.
"I can't, Ms. Berlaux. I would lose my job if someone found out."
Gabby smiled and leaned even closer to the man. So close, that their bodies were touching. Gabby whispered in his ear. "I'll never tell."
The salesman moaned at the contact and lightly backed away from Gabby.
"$14,550. Final offer."
She pulled out her checkbook from her purse. Gabby smiled gleefully, happy that her beauty had once again gotten her exactly what she wanted.
"I'll take it."

"Clare, I'm serious. Leave. Me. Alone."
Abram Berlaux was officially fed up with Clare. And now that the end of the school day was here, he didn't have to deal with her crap anymore.
Abe was at his locker, putting away his school books as Clare pestered him once more.
"Abe, just listen to me."
Frustrated to his limit, Abe slammed the door of his locker as he turned around to face her.
"Clare, what the hell is your problem? You broke up with me. Not the other way around, right? So stop chasing this fantasy where I still want you. Get the hell over me. I sure as hell have gotten over you."
With that, Abe left Clare alone in the hallway, leaving her alone in more way than one.

Jenna LaVaine really hated people. In a way that made it easy for her to survive in the world of magazine editing in which she so amazingly existed.
Jenna was the Editor-In-Chief on Paparazzi, a fashion magazine. And since her employees tried to avoid her large wrath, it helped to keep her hatred of people besides her friends in control.
And when Jenna's desk phone began to ring, she felt overwhelmed with her annoyance.
"Jenna LaVaine."
"Hey, Jenna. It's Bryce."
Suddenly, Jenna's harsh sensation for people vanished and was replaced with a smile.
"Bryce, hey. What's up?"
"Just responding to your call. You said something about a club?"
She smiled. "Yeah. Glam has an awesome DJ tonight. You coming?"
"Sure. Who else is gonna be there?"
"Chris, Torrance, Gabby, and Drew."
"Oh." Bryce said. "Drew's coming?"
Jenna was perplexed by her friends tone. "Well, yeah. You know how close Gabby and Drew are."
"Yeah."
Jenna sighed. "What's going on? Did you have a fight with Drew or something?"
"No." Now, Bryce was the one sighing. "It'll be fine. I'll call you later, Jenn."
"Alright. Bye."
Jenna LaVaine hung up her phone and wondered what was going on between her friends.

Abe was at Gabby and Drew's house, his siblings getting ready to head to the club with their friends.
"Come on, Drew." Abe pleaded. "I'm eighteen. Let me go with you to Glam. I'm dying to get out of the house."
Drew was wearing a tight black shirt and blue jeans. Gabby was wearing a frilly blue dress with sapphire earrings that her mother had bought her.
"Drew, he is of age. He's not even that much younger than us." Gabby said.
"You don't have any room to talk, Ms. Flirt-With-Car-Salesman-To-Get-A-Car." Drew smirked.
"Hey, I did not tell you that story so you could later throw it in my face. I got a kick ass deal on the gorgeous car. So stop bitching."
Abe smiled at his bickering siblings. "Please, if I don't go Mom and Dad will have a supportive game night." He closed the space between him and his brother, placing a hand on Drew's shoulder while he stared into his green eyes. "A game night, Drew."
Drew saw the begging glimmer in his younger brother's eyes. Sighing, Drew took pity on him. "Alright. You can come."
Abe threw his arms around Drew in appreciation.
"Thanks, dude."
About half and hour later, Drew, Gabby, and Abe were riding in Gabby's new car until they parked in the parking lot of the beat spinning club known to many in Rephaim as Glam.
The three siblings walked inside the club and the music was already getting to the crowd. Several people were showing off their unique dance moves while some thumping electronic beats raved around the room. Gabby led her brothers over to a corner and started yelling when she saw her friends in the corner of the club.
Chris Morrte had the most stunning gray eyes you would ever find on an individual. And his bright blond hair made his jock form look even more convincing. His girlfriend, Torrance Rannem, was a pretty girl with long black hair that that was flawlessly straight and perfect. And Bryce and Jenna looked as stunning as they ever did. Drew made sure to avoid eye contact with Bryce for as long as he could.
Gabby ran up to Jenna and threw her arms around her, giving her an excited hug before moving on to Torrance and doing the same to her. Drew said hey to Chris and Torrance and Jenna, but didn't look at Bryce when he bid him hello.
Abe, on the other hand, wasn't the least bit interested in the friends of his siblings. He was just looking around the club for someone to dance with. When he saw a young girl around his age smiling at him, he smiled back and went over to where she was dancing, telling his brother and sister that he'd see them later.
"Gabby! This place is going crazy!" Jenna laughed over the music.
"I know! Let's dance."
Gabby grabbed Jenna by the hand and took her out on the dance floor. They immediately found the rhythm of the music and starting joining the crowd in their fanatic trance the music had on them.
Torrance smiled at her boyfriend. "Dance with me."
He grinned at her and took her hand. Then, they walked out on the dance floor and started dancing near their friends. Now, Bryce and Drew were awkwardly left alone with each other. Bryce was just about to break the silence when Drew decided to go and dance with his friends. Bryce sighed to himself as he left the corner of the club and started dancing with some random girl that he thought was at least mildly attractive.
Drew couldn't help but watch Bryce as he danced with that girl. He loathed her without even knowing her. He wanted to dance with Bryce so bad. Gabby, whom was dancing and laughing with Jenna, stopped when she saw Drew's gaze and whom it was aimed towards. She walked over to Drew.
"Drew, what's going on?"
He looked at his sister. "Nothing, Gabby. Go dance."
"No. Not until you tell me what's going on with you and Bryce."
"Nothing is going on with me and Bryce! That's the problem!"
"Drew,"
"No, Gabby. I'm tired of falling for the wrong guy. I just want to be happy for one damn minute of my life. Is that too much to ask? And I simply can't be happy when I'm in love with Bryce, even when I know that he couldn't care less about how I feel about him."
During his rant, Gabby felt horrible for her brother. It was true. He hadn't ever had a relationship, despite the men Drew fell for they never once had felt the same way.
And unbeknownst to the two siblings, Bryce was standing behind them. He had heard Drew's entire confession.
"You're in love with me?"
Drew turned around and Gabby looked over at Bryce. The girl he had been dancing with was gone and Bryce was right there with them now.
"Forget you heard that."
Drew stormed away after he spoke, leaving Gabby to think she should run after him. When she did, Bryce stopped her.
"I got it."
Bryce followed Drew back to the corner of the club, where the lights of the club rarely showed. Drew was standing there, mentally swearing for how stupid he was, falling in love with a straight guy. Again. He wished he had learned his lesson but obviously, he still had a lot to learn about love.
Bryce Carson, smiling a little, ambled up to his friend and tried to play it off as no big deal. Rolling his eyes, Drew sighed.
"What do you want, Bryce?"
"I want to talk to you, Drew."
"About how I love you? About how I want to kiss you so bad it makes it hard to look at you?" Drew paused to gage Bryce's reaction. He looked taken aback by the severity of Drew's feelings. "That I have had these feelings for you for the longest time and no matter what I tell myself, they won't go away? Yes, Bryce. I love you. And I'm in love with you. There. Now, you can start hating me and avoiding me like I know you want to."
Drew looked away from Bryce then, not wanting to look into his blue eyes anymore. But just when he thought that he would walk away, Bryce lifted Drew's face so that he was looking at him. And, to Drew's surprise, he was smiling.
"I'll never hate you."
Then, Bryce held Drew's face in his hands as he pulled him into a sweet and soft kiss. Drew was confused, but soon relaxed once he felt the lips he had so longed to feel pressed against his mouth. Bryce was kissing Drew. Actually kissing him. He didn't know what had come over him. He liked it, sure, but he didn't know if this is what he really wanted.
Just as Bryce broke the tender kiss between Drew and himself, the high windows near the ceiling of the club shattered violently as several dark figures jumped through them and landed harshly in the club. The music still continued to throb around them, but the people just stared at the cloaked group, the entertaining chatters of friends silenced by the dark presences.
It wasn't until one of the dark figures barred his teeth that people began to scream, and Glam was thrust into a state of paranormal chaos that was sure to become a mystical feast.
Last edited by JaceClayton on Tue Mar 30, 2010 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
You give me fever,
When you kiss me,
Fever when you hold me tight.
Fever, In the morning.
And fever all through the night.

Fever, 'Till you sizzle.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.




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This is the beginning of a story I've been writing for a few weeks now. It's nowhere near complete, but I thought I'd post it on here. Any and all feedback influences further material :]
You give me fever,
When you kiss me,
Fever when you hold me tight.
Fever, In the morning.
And fever all through the night.

Fever, 'Till you sizzle.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.




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Gender Female
Points 2596
Reviews 26
Hey awesome story. as you know I love it




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1385
Reviews 4
Thanks :]]]
You give me fever,
When you kiss me,
Fever when you hold me tight.
Fever, In the morning.
And fever all through the night.

Fever, 'Till you sizzle.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 17581
Reviews 126
Hey,

Very intriguing story and for me I could tell within the first paragraph or two it was going to be beautifully written. Although I do not visit on here very much anymore I thought I would share my favorite sentence.

"I don't care if our brother, whom I'd like to add is still in high school, is an auto genius.


This is a wonderful use of an appositive and I really felt everything about this sentence was brilliant such as the nouns used.

Good job on this,

Day
"If the king doesn't lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"




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this is really good though you have some typos and you just need to fix them up, but apart from those few little bits and pieces its really good...i want to read more
Imagination is more important than knowledge. knowledge is limited, imagination encircles the world-Albert Einstine
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience-Fool
need a review? just PM me!




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Thanks DayDreams! I really do appreciate it :] And snoopysoap, Grr those typos haha. But I'll get on them. Thanks again :] And the second chapter should be up fairly soon.
You give me fever,
When you kiss me,
Fever when you hold me tight.
Fever, In the morning.
And fever all through the night.

Fever, 'Till you sizzle.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.
What a lovely way to burn.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3313
Reviews 18
All righty. Before I delve into this let's all take a deep breath. All right now that that's out of the way let''s get started.


I. I really liked this. Well written and very cohesive at least until the end. Which brings me to my next point.
II. The end of the chapter is very confusing. It was a nice way to bring interest and suspense into the story but for the whole first part its all about love and stuff. That's it. Sooo... maybe if you could add a little foreshaslowing that would fix that problem right up.
III. Totally love the whole gay guy trying to find love thing. My best friend is gay and I love him to death. And you did a good job of putting us into Drew's shoes instead of just telling us he's gay, deal with it. A lot of people don't like people and I like the way you let us see through heis eyes and get a look at what his life is like.
IV. Lots of typos and errors. Just read it out loud and you'll catch quite a few of those.

Other the that spnifilant job. I loved it.
rise and shine
and open up your eyes
to give this world some color
shine on diamond eyes
seperate the space
between love and lies

3393 words



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