Howling (The Sun and the Moon)

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Whenever I speak, I don't care about all of you,
my only audience is the sun and the moon.

I watch people as I read
and I see they're half asleep,
making peeks now and then
so they don't seem weak.
My words couldn't be
less relevent to them,
so they think I'm a fool
who thinks he's cool back at school,
and I admit it,
I am a legend in the halls,
like all three hundred kids in the building,
and every thirty five in each room.
And none of the legends care
why another is so great,
so I'm not going to prove it
to those guys that don't care,
I'll just prove it to myself,
and to the time that I live in,
and whenever I speak,
I won't be speaking to them,
because my only audience
is the sun and the moon
Because the sun and the moon
and time itself
doesn't judge me or hurt me
for what I say and do.
It listens and marks it down
as something that happened,
and that's all I want,
and it's all I need to do.
I'm like a wolf at a cliff,
howling in the night for the sake of howling,
to tell people it's something I do,
not that I'm good at it.
Well, maybe I am good,
but it's not my place to judge,
and if a couple of the legends
want to tell me about and critique me on
how well I do what I do,
then they'll make me smile
but they can't make me frown,
because I couldn't care less
who I am to them,
because my only audience
is the sun and the moon.
And they all can say what they want;
I'll always do what I do,
and I'll always think it's what makes me cool,
and I'll always keep on howling
at the sun and the moon.
Last edited by Howler on Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"I'm fearless in my heart
They will always see that in my eyes
I am the passion, I am the warfare
I will never stop
Always constant,
Accurate,
Intense"
"The Audience is Listening", by Steve Vai




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Gender Female
Points 15446
Reviews 136
I think your poem is okay. I would like to point out some obvious errors
watch people as I read and I see they're half aswleep,
I think you mean asleep

as something that happened,
and thatt's all I want,
that's all I want.
I hope this helps. Fiction




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 15914
Reviews 204
Hi Howler. I like the message in this poem. People definitely shouldn't care what others think and be themselves.

My words couldn't be less relevent to them,
so they think I'm a fool
who thinks he's cool back at school,
and I admit it,

I don't like this line. It doesn't flow too well. Maybe you could end the sentence after "so they think I'm a fool." Then, maybe you could put another line like "I'm not someone they remember, just a kid who thinks he's cool"

I noticed that you often mention "you", it's as if you're talking to someone. Who's "you"?
I hope that helps. :)

-Crescent
Please take care to use good grammar when making a post!

"grammer" 1519 matches on YWS *twitches*

Rydia is the ruler of the world. :(



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