I'm open to any advise or comments! Thanks! -ZChapter One
He sat quietly underneath the large oak tree. The late October sun was beginning to set as his keen eyes focused on the tree line. The breeze was gentle as it swept across his face blowing his dark brown hair into his sea green eyes. His left hand tightened around his long dark bow as he saw a small shift in the green landscape.
He slowly stood up barely making a sound. His movements were fluid, not one gone to waste. His right hand quickly glided back pulling out a long arrow from its carrier and the bright blue feather floated calmly at the end. His fierce eyes focused on the spot of slight brown that froze. Ears perked sensing the danger. The large doe did not move for a few moments, as he stood perfectly still waiting for the right moment to set his arrow free from the taut string. The doe was spooked suddenly and quickly leaped to the side to run away. The only sound was the swish of an arrow as he knocked in towards the fleeing doe and a loud thumping noise in the distance.
A small smirk fell upon the young man’s face as he slowly dropped his bow. He quickly threw his bow over his shoulder as he started to run into the forest line. As he entered the tree line he slowed down looking for signs indicating which way the doe had ran after being hit. He spotted a small, bright red puddle in the distance and quickly made his way towards it. He crotched down slowly glancing every way to spot another bright red puddle. He continued on the trail until he came about the fallen doe. The man smiled brightly and he bent down making sure the doe was head. He then turned his back and whistled loudly into the air.
The once quiet forest erupted into sounds of movement and crunching leaves and snapping sticks on the ground as more men walked towards the sound of the whistle. The first man to appear at the sight laughed loudly and gripped the young man’s shoulder tightly in congratulations.
“You never miss a shot Aiden, amazing,” the older man said as he bent down inspecting the kill. Aiden laughed and leaned against a tree waiting for the rest of their hunting group to show up.
“That is the seventh kill! Leave some for the rest of us,” a young man the same age as Aiden said as he walked up. Aiden glanced over at him and did not say anything but smiled.
“I would, if any of you could keep up with me,” Aiden said with a cocky smirk. The young man with bright blonde hair and deep brown eyes punched Aiden quickly in the arm playfully as he walked pass.
“I would be careful Bryan, you know Aiden can kick your ass in sparring,” another man said as he walked into the small clearing between trees.
Aiden looked up into the treetops as the breeze picked up again. He frowned slightly as he stood up straight. “We should get the doe out of here, we should not stay in the forest too much longer,” he said with warning in his voice. The other men understood with a nod of their heads. Three of the older men quickly picked the doe up and the hunting group made their way out of the forest and into the fields where they had made camp.
There was a small fire lit in the middle of their camp. The three men that stayed behind to watch over their previous kills were all sitting by the warming fire. They stood happily and greeted their fellow hunters as they entered their camp with three more kills.
“I think we have a good haul for the coming winter so far,” Bryan said as he sat down by his father. His father who also had bright blonde hair smiled at his son and nodded his head.
“That we do. We would not have so many kills if it wasn’t for Aiden’s amazing archery skills,” the old man said nodding in approval to Aiden who sat down next to Bryan.
“Gavin, you give me too much credit. The other men from the village have made good kills also,” Aiden said trying to brush aside the compliment.
The sun had set and the moon’s slowly started to enter the night sky. The dim white light shown over the south as the brighter blue light grazed strong over the north as Aiden slowly leaned back against the log staring at the stars. He slowly closed his eyes listening to all the night sounds around him.
“You know Aiden, its been eight winters since you first arrived at our village,” Gavin said carefully in a quiet tone. “Do you not want to share with us how you came to our village?”
Aiden tensed for a few moments without saying anything to the old man. Behind his closed eyes the memories of the first day in the village flashed quickly. Aiden slowly opened his eyes to push away the images and he glanced over at the old man who had taken him into his house. Raised him like his own son. “I don’t remember,” Aiden lied softly.
Gavin’s face tensed but he did not respond just looked quietly at the fire. Bryan glanced back and forth from his father to his best friend. He sighed than quickly stood up loudly saying, “Come on.” He kicked Aiden’s foot smiling brightly; his deep brown eyes shining excitedly.
Aiden glared up at him and did not make a single move. “Come on…where…?” Aiden asked.
“Just come on,” Bryan said as he grabbed his bow walking away from the camp. “Bring your bow,” he yelled over his shoulder. Aiden could not help but smiling. Hunting underneath the moons’ light was difficult for most hunters, but not him. He knew exactly what Bryan was planning on doing. He quickly grabbed his bow and ambled his way towards Bryan’s quickly retreating form.
Aiden sighed softly to himself as he got away from the fire. Once Gavin had asked him, he did not miss how everyone got quiet and stared at him. Waiting for him to tell his story. A young boy waking into a village at the age of fourteen covered in blood alone was frightening. Aiden frowned deeply as he continued to walk deeper into the forest following Bryan.
“You know, you could just tell everyone…” Bryan’s voice spoke softly from the silver darkness. Aiden stood taller as he faced his best friend. He wasn’t looking at him or trying to make eye contact, he was focusing on the dense forest ahead of them.
“I enjoy listening to the rumors that everyone has started, don’t you?” Aiden said as he slowly pulled an arrow out.
“The one you being a Byari child born of the devil is my favorite by far,” Bryan said with a laugh. “With those green eyes of yours, people were bound to start talking even if you hadn’t showed up in town like you had.” Aiden didn’t respond. He knew that his green eyes set him apart from everyone. Green eyes were unheard of, only in myths and legends. Legends that always linked with demons of ancient times, the Byari. Aiden forced back a small smirk and still didn’t respond to Bryan’s rambling.
Aiden froze as his sharp senses heard a very faint shuffle of leaves to his right. He quickly readied his arrow and searched for the rabbit that made the soft sound. Bryan froze realizing Aiden had found an animal. Aiden could see clearly into the silver mixture of moonlight. He quickly found the white rabbit and let his arrow fly. Bryan shook his head loosing up.
“Its amazing how well you see at night,” Bryan said softly as they both made their way towards the dead rabbit. “You know, Leah has taken a liking to you,” Bryan stated. Aiden glared over at him narrowing his eyes and again didn’t comment. Bryan laughed softly but did not say anything more.
The pair came back to camp holding 6 hares each. Bryan smiled triumphantly when his father walked over to them. Gavin just laughed and took the hares from the boys to skin them. Gavin gave Aiden a apologetic smile before he turned his back to them and walking farther into the camp. Excitement grew throughout the small camp at the hares. They all would be eating well tonight.
Bryan fell into step beside Aiden. “You know, he is only worried about you. That’s why he asks you. You are like his other son,” he said seriously. Aiden still didn’t answer him. Bryan shook his head and remained silent as they walked to their tent. Aiden sat outside the tent leaning against the tree and stared up at the two moons high in the sky. The moon that rose the north was bigger than other.
“Did you know, that the north moon didn’t appear until about three hundred years ago?” Aiden asked calmly. Bryan paused what he was doing and glanced up at the moons. “In history it says the world went black in the middle of the day. Like the sun had just went out. After 23 days passed the sun rose again. And that night, a new moon shone brightly in the north. Shone blue,” Aiden continued.
“I think you mentioned that before,” Bryan said as he continued to unpack his rucksack. “But, isn’t that around the time when the Byari were last seen too?”
“That’s what people say.”
“The storied about those monsters are horrendous,” Bryan said. “It would have awesome to see them in battle though. Amazing creatures.” Aiden watched the blue moon silently. “Where did you learn all of that stuff?” Bryan asked.
Aiden shrugged it off quickly and bluntly lied, “I don’t remember.” Bryan stole a glance at his best friend and chose not to further the conversation. He had learned early on with Aiden that you couldn’t get him to talk about anything unless he wants to spill.
“With all of the kills we made so far, we won’t have to stay out here for much longer. The village will be able to last out the winter with out any problems this year,” Bryan said trying to start up conversation.
“It’s been a good year,” Aiden said in a monotone voice, not interested in talking. His eyes flashed to a few figures walking over towards him.
I do like the story though, my only grammatical problem is you have a whole lot of periods. I think maybe look at some of your sentences and try combining them? I look forward to more 
Here I go...
