Descriptive Words Depository

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Post February 20th 2010

EYES:

*Gave me a cool level stare" - note, not 'he looked at me', but 'he gave me a stare'. Insantly the situation becomes more alive, if that is the goal.
*His eyes frosted - 'eyes frosted', as a more nuanced description of them 'becoming cold.'
*Vacant expression - note, not 'empty' but 'vacant'
*Gazing vacantly
*Eyes swerved - note, not 'moved', but 'swerved'
*Eyes bulged
*Goggling at him
*Casting glances - note, not 'throwing', but 'casting'


MOUTH


*A smile of wry admiration
*Mouth made a fractional movement - here language is used like a camera in film. We don't say what the emotion is, we only describe its outer manifestation. Let the reader deduce from the situation what's going on inside the character.
*Chewed his lower lips
*Genial smile - 'genial' as an alternative to 'friendly'
*Jaw sagging - an alternative to 'hanging'




MOVEMENT:


*To ascend - up the stairs, up a ramp. Instead of 'going up'
*To blunder through /the forest for instance/
*Back and forth
*To and fro
*Hither and thither
*Creep upon /to appear surprisingly/
*Checked himself - to visibly stop doing or saying something
*To cringe
*To dodge
*Dragged himself /when he is tired, or wounded, or lazy/
*Heaved
*Hauled
*Incline (his head)
*Lash out, at
*Stride - 'he strode off'
*Pounce - instead of 'jump', gives a needed animalistic feel to certain scenes

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Post February 23rd 2010

Miscellaneous
*keeping strictly to his own wavelength - /when someone babbles without actually caring what the general conversation it about, and whether anyone is actually listening/
*hands are unsteady - not actually shaking as such, but already not very reliable
*rubber legs - legs which it's difficult to walk on, as result of fear, intoxication, etc.
*faced each other across the desk - 'faced each other' instead of 'looked at each other'

The Coat
*I shrugged into my coat
*I struggled into a trench coat
*wrapped myself in my coat
*swathed her in her coat

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Post February 26th 2010

The Smile

* had little sharp predatory teeth... They glistened between her thin too taut lips
* His teeth gleamed in a thin smile
* grinned wolfishly, showing the edges of teeth far back in his jaw
* She stopped trying to smile
* He smiled without separating his lips
* her small bright teeth shining between her parted lips.
* and a smile of the correct dim wattage
* smiled a subtle affectionate smile
* with a guilty and at the same time confiding smile
* Smiling ruefully
* smiled tolerantly
* grinned sourly
* An easy smile

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post April 1st 2010

The Voice

• His voice carried no conviction
• He said casually
• He chided me
• He voiced his concern
• He gave a snarling answer
• He spoke coldly
• He said mincingly
• His voice trailed hesitantly away
• He said with a preoccupied air
• He repeated dubiously
• He groaned, but said nothing articulate
• His voice became a shade too casual
• He chirped airily
• he said politely,

Can you explain why you'd use different descriptions, please? And maybe explain how these aren't the best for all situations? If all of these were used in a story, the prose might turn purple. Maybe, instead of focusing on the phrases themselves, but why you'd use any sort of phrase different from plain language.

Yo Rosey,
I can't explain anything. It's up the individual aspiring writer to try out all avaliable linguistic tools, and my own prefrences are in a state of flux as well. Currently my opinion is the following: when one chooses how to dscribe a scene, one chooses between different elements. The more elements one chooses from, even if in the end the chosen description is dry everyday prose, the better. When Hemingway wrote his economical prose, I bet he was aware of a score of ways in which to write every sentence, and that is the mark of a real author: to write not the one and only way in which one is capabale of writing, but to be able to choose between different version of descriptions.
Hence, I'll slowly cultivate this here word depository, so that aspiring writers like me can see senences grouped by category and hopefuly get crucial inspiration for a scene or two

I think you should mention that at the beginning of the post. I was intrigued by this, but it was very different from what I was expecting based on the title, so I can see where Rosey is coming from.

*Mouth made a fractional movement - here language is used like a camera in film. We don't say what the emotion is, we only describe its outer manifestation. Let the reader deduce from the situation what's going on inside the character.

This is something I've been experimenting with lately. It's actually harder than one might think after having written inside the character's heads for so long. To write just the physical movements and not define the emotion in as many words is tough sometimes. It can be quite effective sometimes though.

Right you are Gryphon, and Rosey, I've changed the title of the thread to a better one

Pah, this idea apparently was another one of my 'I think it's brilliant, but everyone else thinks it sux' blunders. Peh. Pooh. Haha.
I'm throwing in the towel