Abstracted and Perfectly Wild

Reste ici une moment

I am drowning in dreams

Because those eyes can’t be real

Abstracted and perfectly wild

There’s nothing tame about you, you know

I saw how you rested the palm of your hand

on the glass

Like a circle of cold you could hold

Le froid est une plague ; c’est la mort

Une seconde de plus

Stop.

Breathe in a moment and choke down the rain

It’s like sky honey dripping…

down, down…

And the cold isn’t tame

There’s something wild about you

And I’d never seen it before

Une jour

Ensoleillée...

Those eyes can’t be real

And you’ve never looked at me quite like that before

Abstracted and perfectly wild

Une chanson pour toi mon amour

C’est comme la mort tes cheveux

Que c’est noir

Black as the night sky and spinning away

Drowning in dreams

There’s something wild about you

And I’ve never seen it before.


***for some inexplicable reason this poem goes through my head like a song

Why has this no comments?! Sheesh! Well anyway, this is ace. I love how it switches from english to french (and i love it even more that i can understand it all)
You really are a very talented poet. I've come to this conclusion after reading a few of your pieces
I especially like this part...

Breathe in a moment and choke down the rain

It’s like sky honey dripping…

down, down…

"sky honey" Nice way to describe rain, unusual.
But yeah, please dont stop writing these...because they really are beautiful.

Oooh... It gives me shivers...

The French is a really nice touch. I can barely pronounce it and don't know what any of it means, but it sounds beautiful. I liked the repetition of "those eyes can't be real" because each time it seemed to say something different without changing the words.

Stop.

Breathe in a moment and choke down the rain

It’s like sky honey dripping…

down, down…

That should be a song.

The repetition at the end worked perfectly and really had a nice impact. Sorry I couldn't be more constructive, but I really can't find anything to change. Very nice work.

Ooo! I do like this.

It's strange, simple, yet surprisingly (even with all that French) readable. And it draws a picture. A picture of a frosty night, with blues and whites... and a little cabin surrounded by trees.

Yeah. So poetry that draws a picture = good.

Well done!

After mild speculation on my part, I've decided to provide a translation for the words, and I'll have you know that the french and the english tend not to relate until the end, because the french is being spoken by the people inside the poem.

Anyways, here goes:

Reste ici une moment = stay here a moment


le froid est une plague; c'est la mort = the cold is a plague; it is death


une seconde de plus = one second more


une jour
ensoleillée = a sunny day


une chanson pour toi mon amour = a song for you my love


c'est comme la mort tes cheveux = your hair is like the dead


que c'est mort = how it's black


Thus, I have, quite rightly, revealed the truth about french; it is a composition of the simplest and most beautiful of words in a tongue that was once described by native americans as birds singing... So that, in the end, it's utterance is pure romance, and is convoluted into an imperceivable sound of little meaning and much beauty.

Therefore, it worked for this poem.

Convoluted Empty = Un Vide Labyrinthique