Oh star

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Gender Female
Points 33076
Reviews 1167
Slow, melodic, kind of soft, acoustic guitar.
... = held out note
---------

Oh star, oh star,
Tonight’s the night I’ll fall for you.
You know it’s true.
The shinning light beams,
On the moon.
I feet it too.
The look you gave,
The smiling moon.

You can’t run…
You can’t hide…
When the stars light up the sky.
You and I…
You and I could go so far,
If we just reached across the stars.

Oh star, oh star,
Tonight’s the night I wish on you.
Please help me make,
All the things I’ve ever wanted,
Finally come true.
For tonight I wished for you.

-Guitar-

Oh star, oh star,
I don’t ask for much,
But this is slightly more important,
Then all those petty things,
I’ve asked before tonight.
Tonight is different.

Oh star, oh star,
For once, I just with that you would listen.
Hear my crying,
See my heartbreak,
Feel my longing.
I have one wish.

(Softer)
Oh star, oh star,
Tonight’s the night I wish on you.

All I ask for is one wish.
Can you help me with my wish?
Oh star, oh star.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

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Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 5107
Reviews 100
First of all i always love a "Slow, melodic, kind of soft" song.
For the first verse: Very nice start( oh star, oh star) Its almost got a dear diary sort of feel to it.. not meaning that as a bad thing. I think you mean I feel instead of
I feet it too
. The whole feeling of it so far reminds me of a part of Romeo and Juliet in the balcony scene and of one of Keat's poems Bright Star. The theme of love and stars put together could be argues overused by i do not think it all deflects from the song.
For what i'm guessing is the chorus: I love the lines
You can’t run…
You can’t hide…
They're so simple but meaningful.
For the next verse: I like the repetition of "Oh star" however i see that you have a different rhyming pattern in this verse to the last. As i don't know what the song sounds like i don't know if it works or not but just be aware of it.
Interesting order you've put the chorus/verses/ coda in. I like it though!
You obviously play guitar so i can just imagine this song sounding sooo lovely. Well done:) :wink:
"You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow from the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside"



Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
— Abraham Lincoln