Chronicles of Losthurin-Chapter 2

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8000
Reviews 212
Here is chapter 2 of Chronicles of Losthurin. Hope you like it. Crit is welcome. :) And if you have any questions, ask.

Chapter 2

Alcáníon Tasarion Aváru stood looking into the pool of glowing water and frowned. He stepped away from the silver bowl and turned towards the older elf standing behind him.

“Niewén,” he said and gave her a small, formal bow. “I did not see you there.”

The elf before him was tall and beautiful with waist length lowing white-blond hair and clear, crystal blue eyes. Her skin was very pale, as though she had not seen the sun in a very long time.

“What brings you to me?” Aváru asked and walked over to a tree. He traced an intricate pattern on the bark and what he had traced glowed blue.

Niewén sighed and joined him at tree. She placed her hand over his and held it against the tree. The blue glow faded.

“Aváru, please,” she said. “You know as well as I that the prophecy cannot come true.”

Aváru sighed and pulled his hand away. He walked back over to the silver bowl, whose pool within had lost its glow.

“The prophecy must come true,” he stated quietly and dipped his hand into the water. Niewén gave him a sad look.

“You are drawn to her, aren’t you?” she asked. Aváru spared her a glance. “Aren’t you?"

Aváru ignored her and trailed his fingers through the water, sending little waves across the surface. He stared down at the water and let out another sigh.

“Alcáníon Tasarion Aváru,” Niewén demanded. “Are you drawn to the human girl?”

Aváru winced and turned back to her. He did not like anyone using his full name. She was glaring at him and by the looks of it, about to slip back into Elvish. Aváru stepped away from the pool and started to pace. He didn’t want to answer that—at least, not yet.

Niewén waited. She could tell that he would answer her and that he would tell the truth.

“Why do you want know, Niewén?” he asked coming to a stop before her.

Niewén sighed and stepped away from the tree. “Because this is what will curse the prophecy, this is what will bring the Elves to their knees, Aváru!” she exclaimed and threw her hands up into the air.

Aváru watched her with a detached sense of doom. Niewén stalked over to the pool and waved her hand over it.

“Would you like to see what I have seen, Nessa Quen,” she snapped, gesturing to the pool. Aváru blinked and then stared at her, uncomprehendingly. “Look then, hína,” she said, “and tell me what you see.”

Aváru stepped forwards and peered down at the water, which was shimmering with golden light. The golden light went dim enough for him to see what appeared to a possible future—for everyone.

“Is it as bad as what I saw?” Niewén asked. “Is it as bad as what could be or what will come to pass?”

Aváru watched with a growing sense of horror as he watched darkness sweep across the land and armies burning villages to the ground. He saw his human, Kiera, in the midst of battle; she was dressed in full Elvish battle armour. He saw the great city of Menelwë fall and crumble as an army of impossible size swept across the plains, and over the walls and through the gates.

“Now do you see?” she asked in a low voice and waved her hand over the pool, which returned to its usual clear water.

Aváru stepped away from the pool with a sickening feeling brewing in his gut. Was it true? Was this how their world would end? In flames? Aváru stopped away from the older elf and clutched his stomach, turning his face away.

“Now you see how much trouble she will cause?” Niewén whispered, “Now do you see how much is at stake?”

“And if I am drawn to the girl?” Aváru gasped, putting out a hand to steady himself.

Niewén sighed and strode over to the faint pathway back through the tree. Aváru straightened up to watch her.

“Then you may have doomed us all, hína,” she sighed and disappeared into the trees.

Aváru felt the sickening feeling slowly dispersed and stepped up to the pool. The water had returned to its clear state and was now very still.

Aváru stared back at his face reflected in the water. He had to admit it; he looked pretty pale and extremely startled. Shaken, perhaps? Aváru swiped at the water, disturbing it so that he no longer saw his reflection and moved away from the pool.

He ran a hand through his shoulder length hair and looked around the clearing.

What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t bring her to him; it would start a war that no one wanted. He couldn’t go to her for it would startle the humans to see someone like him in their world. And they couldn’t meet somewhere inbetween, it would unbalance their worlds, and most likely cause so much destruction—their destruction.

Aváru sighed and tore his eyes away from the trees. He would do what he had to do; he would bring her to him and hope for the best, if there was a best.

“Let us hope that this will not be the death of us,” he muttered. “Let me hope that it is not the end, but the very thing that will save us.”

And then he turned and left the clearing. He didn’t see the pool glowing with an unnatural dark red light.

The pool showed the girl as she walked through her home, trailed by two others. In her hand was the book. It was called The Chronicles of Losthurin, and it would bring about the salvation of the realm of Alámëa....or destroy it.

How could one little book cause so much trouble?

* * *

A/N: Nessa Quen is Elvish for "Young One" and Hína is Elvish for "Child". Thanks goes to Tolkien's Elvish for any Elvish words you may see, although some are of my own creation and I will tell you if they appear.

Oh, and if you want to know what the Elvish names mean, just ask and I'll give you the meanings and explain the names thing... My Elves do have something like five names but you'll probably only see a few of them after I've revealed their full names...

Thanks for reading.

Scarlett.
Last edited by ScarlettFire on Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:02 am, edited 2 times in total.
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 11482
Reviews 144
Hay there. Aushy here. :} I'm going to be a hypocrite and do the one thing I hate that people do--read the second chapter before the first and review it. :}

Let's get down to buisness.

Nitpicks

“Niewén,” He said and gave her a small, formal bow. “I did not see you there.”

That 'h' in 'he' doesn't want to be capital, so let's lowercase it. If you want it to stay capital, then put a period in place of the comma after Niewén.

“Alcáníon Tasarion Aváru,” Niewén demanded, “Are you drawn to the human girl?”

See that red comma? I think it should be a period. :}

Aváru swiped at the water, disturbing it so that h e no longer saw his reflection and moved away from the pool.

I think you meant 'he.' :}

And that's really all I found...

Now, here's my critique:
I was very impressed. I really, really enjoyed this. I mean honestly, this was a fantastic piece of work. I didn't read the first chapter, that is true, but not once was I very confused--only curious as to what was to come. I loved it and completely adore it. *clicks 'Like'* Congratulations!

Keep writing! Come to my shack by clicking 'reviews' or PM me anytime you want a review. I don't bite, I swear. :}

Love & Blessings,
Aushy
formerly ZlyWilk

Finally achieving my dreams. Dive into a unique horror story.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8000
Reviews 212
Thank you very much. I'll go fix those mistakes in a second. I'm glad you like it. :) And thanks for the review, and the 'like'. Go read chapter one to find out more. :D You might be confused when you read chapter 3. ;)
"With friends like you, who needs a medical license?"
- Paimon, Aether's Heart


“It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission.”
- Grace Hopper.



You are strong enough to conquer this day and the rest of your life.
— Atticus