Last edited by napalmerski on Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:30 am, edited 7 times in total.
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
Uhm, yes, you know that you are spelling "Jehovah" wrong, right? I mean, you have literary license and everything, but if you are referring to "Gods real name" or whatever, then its definitely spelled wrong.
And would Abe, an old man, really be able to chew up tough beef jerky for breakfast? Hmmmm.
Remember to spell out the word "okay"
I can see the total allusion to the bible story of Abram and Sarai and Issac, but what's the point? Is this supposed to be a modern version of the bible story? Hmmm. I'm not a particular fan of bible stories, but either way I think this version of it is too, er, literal? Obvious? I dunno. I figured it out as soon as I found out the character names. I dunno, I'm not a "person of the book," so yeah I ain't the biggest fan of Bible stories. Obviously I won't be able to get into this, but other people might, its written well.
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
Thanx for trying to get into the story, in spite of it being not your type, and seemigly pointless, Lena!
...And also thanx for bringing up Jehovah, jerkey and OK
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness. Robert Howard
