Long ago, there was was a proud family Christiopher and Lauren Deller. They were very rich, from all the land they rented to tendants. Most people admired the Dellers, but some despised them deeply because of their son Clark Deller. Clark caused trouble for everyone who crossed him. He sicked a fox on your hens for saying a bad word against him. When he was younger though he was better, he had taken a trip to the merchants and his father had gotten lost. They ended up in the poor part of the town. Women, and children in rags most working. Clark had stole away from his father to speak to a child. " Would you like to come and play?" He said to the child. " I cannot." Replied the child sadly reteurning to his task of mending the small garden. " And why not?" Asked Clark angirly for he had not before had been denined a request before. Clark began to study the boy, and himself. "Because I have to work to help my family. You see our landlord is an evil man. He knows we have no money, but continued to charge us high rent." The boy said bitterly voice rising. Christiopher took hold of his hand finding him. He was about 8 at the time. He was also 8 when he grew hatred for his father. He asked his father later that evening two questions. If he owned the land on which the boy lives, when he recieved the answer yes he went off on his father. The boy was always so behaved his father wished no harm upon him. So he was merely sent to his room that night. But he got a visitor that night. His sister of 4 Elizibeth. She came holding a candle, wearing her white night gown her brown hair bounce behind her as she tip toed. " Dear brother, are you awake?" She said in her sweet voice, that could make the sourest of men smile. Her brother turned and smiled his sibling. "Elizibeth, would you find it fair for two families to live on the same land, yet one must be poor, and another in riches?" He said. The girl cocked her head slighly confused. " Well, I suppose not." She said after a moment of pondering. Clark shook his head. "Sorry to trouble you with such Elizibeth." She smiled sweetly. "No, no dear but why do you say such?" "I cannot say now perhaps when you are older. I do not want you at so young to have such feelings to our parents as I.Now it is late go." He said rubbing her head. Both siblings cared for each other dearly. She did as her brother instructed and tip-toed out. Few years past, and Clark never changed his look on his parents. As he grew so did his what he called pranks that he pulled on the other weathy families. But his punishments were more, and more severe. Finally when he was 12 it happened. He was with his sister sitting under a tree reading, while his sister played in the field. As he read he heard his sister cry out. He jerked his head up to see another boy about her age pushing her around. He threw his book and sprinted to help his sibling. Even through some despised him he was still a strong, clever boy. As the boy proceded to hurt her Clark tacled him to the ground. He grabbed the boy by the sleevesand threw him with all his strength. He was about to run toward the boy when he heard "Clark you stop this now." It was his father, but he heard another voice. "Away from my boy." It said. Clark turned to see his father, and a man in his early thirties dressed nicely with a brown beard. "Sir, if this be your boy you must be teaching him some manners." Clark replied. The man looked appalled by this statement. "Why what do you mean you brute?" Said the man. Clark turned to see his sister rubbing her cheek, eyes heavy with tears she wouldn't let out. "Why sir to you think she is rubbing her cheek, and is close to crying? It is because he has been beating her for I might guess fun." Said Clark giving the boy a dirty look. The boy sat, trying to make up tears so he may get pity. The man turned to his father. "You have not givin him these traits of lieing, and SORRY NOT ENOUGH TIME!
First things first, you need to go back in and add paragraphs. One solid block of text is not easy to read, and most people will not even bother trying to read it. It will also make it easier to keep track of who is saying or doing what.
Another thing I noticed was that the dialogue was extremely unrealistic and incoherent in places. Elizibeth is four, yet you have her talking like an adult. The lack of punctuation, the lack of proper formatting, and a number of misspelled words also added to the confusion.
Lastly, "SORRY NOT ENOUGH TIME!"? What is up with that? If this was incomplete, then you should not have posted it, especially since you couldn't be bothered to finish the sentence. Next time, don't post until you've reached the end of a scene at the least.
