100 Days

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When I wrote this poem I had 100 days left of school
Sounded more like 100 days left to live
100 days left to be a kid
100 days before the manacles of responsibility keep me anchored to the ground
100 days left to run around before my feet become cement blocks to drag around
To my friends, I'm sorry if I'm looking at you funny
I'm just trying to keep you in my memories
labeled, "The Good Ol' Days"
Because it's 100 days before we separate and slip away
from ech other's lives, our minds and days
And these days together become distant and vague
I guess I should be excited for college
Make new friends and acquire new knowledge
But if you tell me to look ahead because that's why my eyes are facing forward
Then why do I have a neck to turn my head backwards?
I guess I shouldn't sit around and sulk
Maybe I should make the best of each day
Grab fun by the bulk
Day 100: Grab some friends and hang out
Day 99: Talk to her and cool out
98: Live for the thrills
97: Hike that giant hill
96: Who knew having fun would be so hard?
95: Admire the beauty of the stars
94: hmmm what else?
93: I think I'll-92: Who wai-91: Stop-90: Hold on 89: No! 88: STOP
Wait, slow down, you're moving too fast.
Please, take your foot off the gas
12 Days gone in the blink of an eye
88 Days left before that final goodbye.
Any man can handle adversity, to test a man's character give him power - Abraham Lincoln

To be the greatest is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. - ?




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On the whole it is good, but i think it needs rearranging. The beginning of the poem is like some kind of prologue. I was expecting the whole thing to be more like the end, but then again that would make it like a list, that caught me by surprise and that is allways good. Maybe you should start with the end and explain what the 100 days mean when you hit:
88 days left before the final goodbye
(Also I don't think the before is necessary).
Splenig Metsackes Ink.
Flowing Scribble




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Thanks for the review! Yeah I basically just poured everything from the top of my mind to paper. Could you elaborate a bit more on what you meant by explaining what 100 days mean to me?
Any man can handle adversity, to test a man's character give him power - Abraham Lincoln

To be the greatest is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. - ?




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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 30
This was really good.

The title intrigued me, a lot.

One thing that I'd suggest though, is re-arranging it. When I read the beginning, it didn't connect well with the rest of the poem.

Other than that, good work!

Keep writing,

RedRaven



gonna be honest, i dont believe in the moon
— sheyren