Little Girl

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Played to a slow acoustic guitar melody.

Little Girl

Verse 1
A white ceiling above her head
Pink walls surrounding her bed
Been that way since she was three
Protected from all the things
That could do her harm
And at night she rests her head
On her Daddy's arm

CHORUS
She's a little girl
In her momma's pearls
And her high heels
Her daddy makes her squeal
When he tickles her
She's the center of his world
Oh she's just a little girl

Verse 2
She's a southern belle
In a southern town
She has no rubies or diamonds
Or fancy ball gowns
But her eyes shine like opals
When her daddy spins her 'round

CHORUS


Bridge
A little girl
In a little white dress
Loving her family
Just trying to do her best

CHORUS

Verse 3 (slower)
A blue desk in the corner of her room
Filled with her songs and dreams
Living the life of a princess
Practicing to be a queen
Oh she's just a little girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do y'all think? Be honest.
Last edited by tori1234 on Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama
Siyo Nqoba
Ingonyama
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala

If you know what this is from, become my best friend. =)




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I liked it :)
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There isn't much to say except I really did like it. I thought we heard the narriater more than the little girl herslef; as in, the song is about her, yet we don't get to know her. You keep repeating the concept of how much she loves her dad and how she's spoiled, pretty much. But it was very good, so I thought. The rhymes were lovely, the concept overall is very nice,and it was well written. I liked it. Good job!
Ofir
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Oh, its a lovely song. I like it! I can almost hear the guitar in the background. X3 I think it's a lovely song about a girl cherished by her father and loves to play, seeing she dresses in her mom's clothes and her dad tickles her. It's sweet. Good job, keep it up!
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Thanks everyone! :)
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama
Siyo Nqoba
Ingonyama
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala

If you know what this is from, become my best friend. =)




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Gender Female
Points 58538
Reviews 553
My god,what a lovely poem. I ade a tune to this song.
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore




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tori1234 wrote:A white ceiling above her head
Pink walls surrounding her bed
Been that way since she was three
Protected from all the things
That could do her harm
And at night she rests her head
On her Daddy's arm

Loved this first verse.

tori1234 wrote:The center of his world

This kind of confused me the first time I read it. I think you should add 'She' to the beginning of this line.

tori1234 wrote:A wooden blue desk in the corner of her room
Filled with her poems, songs, and dreams
Living the life of a fairy tale princess
Practicing to be a queen
Oh she's just a little girl

The rhythm seemed off here. For me, the lines seemed too long compared to the rest of the song.

Overall I liked it. I could really hear the song in my head. I heard it with a little bit of a country twang to it. :)
The second verse annoyed me a little because it was really rhymey and I don't know what the word is but it just bothered me. :P
Overall I thought the song was cute but I'm not sure if it really had a point. You know? Like is the point that she was once this cute little innocent girl and then she grew up? If so I'd make that a little more obvious. Or if that's not the point at all, I'd make whatever the point is more obvious. :)

-Carly
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Thanks Carlito. I made an edit to it, so hopefully it's better now.

There definitely is a country twang to it :) Country is my favorite genre and most of my songs turn out country.

And the point of the song is that there is no point. There are so many songs out there that have so much emotion and make you think and reflect on your life. This one is just there for like easy listening or to distract yourself from all the hate around you.
Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba
Sithi uhm ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama
Siyo Nqoba
Ingonyama
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala

If you know what this is from, become my best friend. =)



Overripe sushi, The master Is full of regret.
— Buson