When The Sky cries... I don't know why

When the sky cries…. I don’t know why…


I don’t know why
The reason why it rains
Is the sky feeling blue?
Like what it feels lost without you

I don’t know why
That whenever it rains
It can upset the whole world
Cold, as it turns down at every word

I don’t know why
During rain, the flowers bloom best
Is it a feeling of joy when the sky’s sad?
Or just simply telling it, these feelings of mine would last

I don’t know why
Seeing you with another person
The rain started pouring again
The flowers are gracefully blossoming

I don’t know why
I think those flowers are telling me
These feelings of hurt and agony
Will just unexpectedly end, last in fire

Now I know why
You’re not the only person here,
not the only one who could make me tears
And that can make the sky weeps

Lastly, I know why
That whenever the rain pours
My heart doesn’t break into two
Telling me something …

…That you’re not for me…

Can you get my poem?
Hope you liked it! weee!

I think its more interesting and subtle if you don't actually come out and mention love, it would be better, in my opinion, if you just alluded to the fact. Also, make it shorter.

Hi! I like this but I have a few suggestions for re-wording.

"I don’t know why
The reason why it rains"

I don't think you need to say why twice because if this was a proper sentence, it wouldn't make much sense, so perhaps take the first why out because it sounds a bit repetitious.

"Is the sky feeling blue?
Like what it feels lost without you"

I'd say "how it feels", not "what it feels".

"I don’t know why
That whenever it rains"

Again, one too many words here. You don't need to say "that".

"Or just simply telling it, these feelings of mine would last"

This line seems a little too long and breaks the flow of the poem a bit.

"Seeing you with another person"

Person isn't very specific - you could let the reader know if you're talking about a guy or a girl.

"not the only one who could make me tears
And that can make the sky weeps"

This doesn't make sense. Maybe "bring me to tears", and it should be weep, not weeps.

"Lastly, I know why
That whenever the rain pours"

Again, "that" isn't necessary.

I like the concept of your poem, and your imagery is quite good. So just a few tweaks that will make your poem a little more pleasant to read. Hope that helps!

Hey Yuriiko! This may be my first dramatic poetry review, so here it goes.

I loved it! I wish there was a button that said 'Love this YWS'. It was fantastic! The very first stanza just took my heart away-I thought OMG! that's the best thing I've ever read in my life! The stanzas were of perfect length, excellent choice of words, fantastic descriptions and heart. You put all these things together and made it into a wonderful thing. This poem can really go places and I'm not just saying that .

The only thing I can offer is that you check over it once more, I think there are one or two spelling errors or mistakes that need to be righted in order to make this sun turn into a star!

Love your work and keep them coming !

MWAHAHAHA!
-RepublicOfCoter