Sumerian Sunlight

(I feel a good idea behind this...I just want to shape it better.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My light has returned manifold since then,
Brought by a thousand rays, no less!
You could have expected my joy when
It came in the form of that Sumerian dress.
~
Sumerian Sunlight is what it was,
The pure, unrequited stuff.
Not only a beauty to buzz,
But no longer was anything rough!
~
Gods bowed down to its magic
And honey chil' -- I drank the power.
I thirsted so much into malik --
(Now I was the village glower)
-and that's not what I believed in.
~
So I shined my way to the river at night
And by the water I stripped the light
-I stripped the light
-I stripped the light
And dove into the pubescent water to clean myself.
~
As I waded to the shore,
Glistening in bare skin:
My dress -- no more
and my future to win --
~
I was that Sumerian girl,
My own flesh the dress
and only now I realized it.
--Only now I shined
For I stripped the light,
I stripped the light
and created my own
by Sumerian moonlight.

This is real good! I felt like I was reading this from some poetry book instead of from an online site. X3 It has a good story to it and the descriptions are wonderfully done! Keep up the good work! :3

I agree with Quetseli, it seemed like pretty legit poem. By a good idea, what do you mean? Were you going to make a story out of it? Or more poems of this sumerian sunlight? Great flow of words, good rhyming pattern, great description... Honestly it's all there, I can't seem to find a way to "review" it productively. There's nothing that really needs work, just good over all. (sorry if my review wasn't helpful, just trying to rack up the points to post some of my own stuff hehehehe...)