Aberrant Romance-3

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CHAPTER THREE


The car right to the airport made me nauseous. Cecilia was sitting in the back seat with me as my father drove. I glanced over at her to find that she was focused on the back of the drivers seat. I knew she was sad that I would be leaving her, and a small amount of guilt rumbled in my stomach. "Hey, you alright?" I said softly, careful not to disturb the awkward silence in the car.
"Oh, me? Yeah, I'm totally fine. I'm just so happy for you!" She forced a smile across her perfect porcelain face.
"Don't lie to me," I warned.
"I'm not!," She said giving me a real smile, "I'm a little sad, but I'm fine. I'm more happy than sad, promise."
"Oook, if you say so," I grinned at her then averted my attention on the monstrous parking lot we were about to enter. My heart dropped and sunk into my empty stomach. This was it, I was about to rewrite the story of my life in a few moments.
Security was an annoyance as butterflies violently twisted my insides. Part of me wanted my father and best friend there, and a part of me didn't. The goodbye would probably kill me the most. I even almost cried bidding farewell to my mother that morning. Finally I passed through security and waited for my flight to be called.
A solid twenty minutes went by sitting in silence on a hard public bench. The blood rushing through my veins probably didn't help my comfort level. The smell of doughnuts and coffee made me cringe even more. Then my flight was called over an echoing loud speaker. My father got up first to ready my carry on, and Cecilia got up along with me. I looked at her and she was finally crying small tears that seemed to be contagious for I started to let out a couple tears. This was really happening.
"Beth, you have to visit every holiday! No exceptions!" She let out a small laugh that lacked joy. "And you have to call me like every night, and text me all the time," She said through sobs. I hugged her tightly then turned to my father who, unlike Cecilia, was dry eyed and smiling.
"You'll do great Bethany. Send us lots of pictures," he smiled. My father was an optimistic man who didn't have a problem with anything. Especially sending his daughter across the Atlantic to go to school."And stay out of trouble!" He warned. I hugged him, but not as warmly as I had hugged Cecilia. I picked up my carry on and gathered my composure. While boarding the plane, I waved to my old life.



The plane ride gave me a headache. The air was thick and the lighting was dull. I imagined a plane being clean and crisp. I was sitting next to a business woman who was extremely engaged with her laptop. I decided not to disturb her with small talk and retained eye contact with my cell phone.
By the end of the flight I really had to pee, but didn't have enough courage to use the public restroom in the plane. So I was thankful when we made the landing, twelve hours later. Once discharged from the giant bird I noticed something right off the bat, everyone had an accent.
Last edited by possibleintrovert on Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"I won't quit to become someone's old lady."
-Janis Joplin




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Gender Female
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Hi, I'm Alyson, and I will be your critque today :)

"I'm not!," She said giving me a real smile, "I'm a little sad, but I'm fine. I'm more happy than sad, promise."


Usually you wouldn't have a coma with a excamation point of question mark, but I see where your comming from here. So I'm not really sure if the coma is suposed to be there or not; it simply didn't look right to me. What I would do if you not so sure about it either is take out the excalmation point and leave the coma so you would be sure that it was correct grammer wise. Other than that small issue I didn't see any grammer mistakes.

I didn't read the first two parts so I can't give you much addvise on the storyling, not knowing where she's going or why, but I liked the ending :) cliff hangers are good for chapters; it makes you want to read the next one. You had a fair amount of vocabulary; more than alot of other writting I've seen anyways. So keep that up and overal the detail and everything was pretty good ! Keep up the writting.

I hope this helped some pm if you have any questions
We all wish for forever, but forever doesn't always mean forever. The only moment we have is right here, right now. so think fast, baby before we lose it. <3



Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?
— Obi-Wan Kenobi