Chapter Seventeen
The Meetings
The following day, I awoke from a restless night to Elizabeth gently shaking my shoulders.
“Dear, it’s time to get up. You’re having an earlier breakfast so you can meet with the applicants,” she said in a soft tone as to not awake Anya. With a deep feeling in my stomach, I rose from the bed and got ready for the day. Because of my girth I had to wear big sweatpants and a rather large flannel button down shirt, making me look like a lumberjack. My hair was a mess and I had no makeup on, but I didn’t care. I knew that day was going to be one of the hardest days of my life.
Hot pancakes and eggs slid down my throat without taste, Elizabeth spoke reassuring words to me without sound. I didn’t want to hear it. I know I hated Adrian at the beginning of my pregnancy, but now I loved her more than anything. She had to go away, but I didn’t want her to. I wanted to keep her forever. I wanted to raise her and teach her everything she knew- but I knew I couldn’t. I was being selfless, yes, that’s it. Selfless. She would be better without me ever entering her life. She did not need to know about the dealings before she was born, she didn’t need to know she was the product of a rape, much less the product of a rape between cousins.
After breakfast Elizabeth ushered me into a small conference room and told me to wait there for the first couple. Much like the rest of the shelter, this conference room was painted in a baby green pastel color with pale wooden furniture. The chair was uncomfortable and the fluorescent light burned my eyes. I had the portfolio with the packets in front of me on the table. I didn’t dare to open it. I thought that if I kept the papers hidden I would wake up from this terrible nightmare and be back at home with a thin stomach, never knowing the horrors of The Dream and That Night. I silenced all thought, the only sound was from the small radiator cranking to life behind me. I must have been sitting there for twenty minutes before the thick door opened.
Elizabeth entered first with two people behind her. I recognized the couple as Maura and Geoffrey Smith from the first packet of papers. The couple had aged drastically from the photos they had handed in. Maura was a thin, wiry, birdlike woman with deep wrinkles around her eyes. Her pale face was broken up by a large red smile and encased with shoulder length grey-brown hair. She was wearing a flower patterned dress with a thick white sweater over it. Geoffrey was behind her in a double breasted dark grey suit and purple tie. He was holding a brief case as if he was going to court. He was even balder than in the picture in the packet, with a shiny head and hair only on his upper lip. The couple sat across from me, and Maura extended her hand.
“Hi, I’m Mrs. Smith, and this is my husband.” I shook both their hands. They introduced themselves as Mr. and Mrs.? Too formal, I thought to myself.
“I’m Miss. Bailey,” I said, keeping the formal tone. “You want to adopt my baby?”
“Oh yes, more than anything,” Maura said. Geoffrey was silent.
“How about you, Mr. Smith?” I asked my tone slightly accusatory.
“Yes, I do too,” he grunted. His lack of enthusiasm worried me.
“Sorry, Geoff is a little shy,” Maura giggled. I slightly nodded, feeling a frown on my lips. “We would love to have your baby. Elizabeth told us she was a girl?” I nodded again. “I’ve always wanted a baby girl. She will have everything a girl could ever want, toys, magazines, clothes. We’ve already hired a nanny for her when we are working.”
“You already hired a nanny?” I asked incredulously. Maura excitedly nodded and nudged Geoffrey who opened up his brief case. “You know I haven’t agreed to let you adopt her yet, right?” Maura’s mouth slightly turned down at the edges. Geoffrey was unfazed by my comment and handed me a piece of paper.
“This is the nanny’s resume, she has excellent references.”
“And how much do you two work?” I asked, disregarding the paper.
“Maura works in the office every day but Sundays from eight in the morning until seven at night, but she is always on call for her patients, she’s a psychiatrist. I work in the law firm from eight in the morning also until around six in the evening. Of course, these hours are not set in stone, especially if I have a big case on my hands.”
“So a nanny would be an excellent idea,” I mumbled.
“Dear, have you made your decision on whether you would like this to be an open or closed adoption?” Elizabeth asked.
“What are your thoughts on an open adoption?” I asked Maura.
“Well, that’s a sticky issue for us,” Maura said, her voice becoming grave. “We don’t mind you being in her life, but she would not call you mother, or anything of the sorts, nor would she call the father dad. We would not introduce you as being related to her and you would not say anything before consulting us. Also, visits would be limited to family affairs.”
“Oh,” I breathed. I had decided on a closed adoption but those were ridiculous conditions even if I wanted to be in Adrian’s life. Maura watched me with a studied look in her eyes. I suddenly felt as if she was analyzing me like one of her patients. “And what about educational plans?”
“We have plans to send her to the local boarding school. Don’t worry, it is a single sex educational system, so there would be no boys to sneak into her room, she won’t end up like-“ Maura suddenly shut her mouth and turned bright red.
“Like me?” I asked. She lowered her head in embarrassment. “Well that’s good, right?” I laughed without humor. “Well, I think I’ve heard enough to make my decision. Thank you very much, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” I shook their hands.
“Thank you Miss Bailey, I hope we are your choice. We wish you the best,” Geoffrey said. Elizabeth led the couple out of the room. I stacked their packet and the resume they gave me into a pile on the table and ripped it in half. Anger filled me. No way would I allow my daughter to stay with those arrogant people.
When Elizabeth returned she asked me about the Smiths.
“I ripped up their application. Elizabeth, there is not a chance that I would allow my girl to be in a house where the parents were never home. I don’t want her raised by a nanny and in a boarding school no less! I don’t even want an open adoption but knowing that I would have that many restrictions if I had decided for one. That Maura lady was psychoanalyzing me after knowing me for a minute, and Geoffrey was distant and uncaring. Adrian deserves better,” I ranted.
“Adrian?” Elizabeth asked. Whoops, I forgot. I probably wasn’t supposed to name my baby that I was giving away.
“Um, yeah, I named her. Just for my own sake, the parents can name her whatever they’d like.” As the words left my lips a knock came to the door. The receptionist with too much makeup was at the door; behind her were a man and a woman holding hands. The nameless receptionist pointed towards the chair and the couple sat down. It was Adam and Kira Davis. The two were dressed so generically. He had on a pair of dark wash jeans and she was wearing a long flowing patchwork skirt. She had a button down white shirt and he was wearing a flannel shirt. His hair was black and neatly coiffed, her hair was pulled back with a few strands in her face. They were a beautiful couple.
“Hi, I’m Isabelle,” I said, shaking their hands.
“I’m Adam, and this is Kira, I like your shirt,” he said. I looked down to remind myself of what I was wearing and laughed when I saw it was the same shirt he was wearing.
“So, you want to adopt my baby?” I asked, starting the interview off like I had with the Smiths.
“Yes, we do,” Kira smiled. “But please, before we get into that, tell us about yourself.” I was surprised that they would take an interest in me and not want to talk about Adrian.
“Um, I’m Isabelle, I’m seventeen. I used to live with my parents before I got pregnant, and I’m not really sure where I’m heading after I get out of here. I went to the public school in Veneta, I was a junior, and a cheerleader,” I paused, trying to think of what to say. “That’s basically it.”
“And what about your parents, are they supportive?” Adam asked.
“Not exactly, I haven’t spoken to them since I came here, which was five months ago. I am seven months pregnant.” Adam nodded with an understanding expression. “Now it’s your turn.”
“I’m Kira, I’m twenty nine, and Adam’s thirty. I’m a second grade school teacher at the public elementary school. I leave the house at seven and am home by three o’clock, so your baby would not be in a babysitter’s care all day.”
“I work as an independent photographer, but I mostly sell my stuff to The Oregonian. I’m privately hired so I don’t have set hours, but when hired I will usually only work for about three hours a week. Otherwise, I just roam throughout the days and photograph whatever I fancy. I would be able to take your baby around with me.”
“You guys would be around a lot for her then?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” Kira smiled.
“That’s great to hear,” I laughed. “I’m guessing you’d send her to the public school?”
“Yes, that was the plan,” Adam said.
“I went there, I approve.” A silence filled the room, I was too happy to speak. These people seemed perfect for Adrian.
“Adam and I were discussing earlier whether you would like an open or closed adoption?” Kira asked.
“If I chose an open adoption what would be my restrictions on seeing her?” I asked.
“You would be able to see her mostly any time you want, as long as you called first,” Adam said. “The only thing we request is that you introduce yourself as an aunt, not her mother. When she is old enough to understand we will tell her about how she is your child, but Kira and I are her parents.” I smiled. They were perfect.
“That is quite all right,” I said. “I would rather it be a closed adoption.”
“Then why did you ask?” Adam inquired.
“Your answer told me a lot about what kind of people you are,” I shrugged. Elizabeth cleared her throat and pointed to her wrist watch. “But I believe Elizabeth is trying to tell me that it is time for me to let you guys go so I can meet the last couple.”
Kira and Adam rose from their seats with smiles on their faces. I rose also and waddled around the table to shake their hands.
“Thank you, Isabelle,” Adam said, grasping my hand and warmly shaking it. I smiled and turned to Kira.
“Thank you so much Isabelle for even considering us, it means so much to me,” Kira said. She pulled me into a hug and tears filled my eyes.
“You’re welcome, Kira,” I mumbled into her shoulder.
“Good luck,” she said. I thanked her and they left the small conference room.
I went back to my seat and started uncontrollably crying. They were perfect. Adrian would be in such good hands, they were a fabulous couple. Elizabeth put her hand on my shoulder and sympathetically rubbed it. I smiled through my tears. Adrian deserved them.
A second time, a knock came to the door. I wiped my tears away and sniffed my nose. I brought the last packet to the front of the pile and remembered who the next couple was. The Hendersons. My heart sank. Mr. Henderson was my dad’s secretary. I knew him. He knew me. His wife was my babysitter. My hands grew clammy as the door opened. Mr. Henderson entered the room first. He was a tall man, around six feet three inches in stature, Mrs. Henderson on the other hand was around five feet tall. She was behind him. Both were in power suits. Mr. Henderson looked at me and shock filled his face.
“Isabelle?” he asked.
“Yes, Mr. Henderson?”
“It is you.”
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Sorry for the length.
Thanks for reading!
~Dommy
) Hope I managed to help in some way!