The Death of Agapanthus

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it had to have been passion
that snapped them off, for
flowers and scissors do not mix
in wine-drunk twilights and
the gloom of unsteady streetlamps,
especially not on nights
when shadows ebb across deserted streets
and rustle through the gardens.
yet everything looks different in the dark;
memories are flat pavements,
tar-bubbled roads and
the scent of agapanthus on a summer evening-
stars are pinpricks in heaven and
trimmed flowers are a poem
on the sidewalk.
Who can say
if it was meant to be?
The lily of the Nile is dead, let her
rest in peace.
Last edited by bubblewrapped on Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)




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Heh, I have no clue... The closest thing to an analysis that I can get is something that turned out wrong and what might have happened if things went differently.

Anyway, even though I didn't really get your poem, I liked the imagery you had. [Sorry for my lack of comment...]




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Sounds like a song, I like it... ALOT!
Adults are just obsolete children, and to hell with them!
-Dr.Suess

Deadpanners are backtalkers!

badonkadonk
Atheism is a non phophet organisation




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I actually couldn't analize this because I didn't understand it, even vaugely. That's cool because the point of a poem in general is for it to be somewhat relevant, and for the writer, not the reader to fully understand it. It was nice anyway. Three stars..




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The flow freaked out a little in the end, but nothing terrible. I could analyze it just fine.

Four stars. Oh weird...I've never actually used stars to judge anything before. Hurrah for me.

I mean for you. Hurrah for you.
Only the passing of each moment ensures the progress of our living bodies and souls.




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I love it when people rate and forget to put in what theyre rating against and the limit.
You said 4 stars. out of what? 10892? 4 out of 6.53431324?
Are you rating it on how much you liked it? Or are you rating it compared to her past works?
This is why I hate rates, but they come in useful I guess...

I didnt quite understand this either.
You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, instead, you should read every single book to see what every book is about before you even come close to judging its viability.




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I don't know if I understand it exactly but I love this. Amazing images. Yeah, just beautiful. Kudos.
Siempre, siempre: jardin de mi agonia,
tu cuerpo fugitivo para siempre,
la sangre de tus venas en mi boca,
tu boca ya sin luz para mi muerte.

-From 'Del amor imprevisto', Federico Garcia Lorca




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Actually (you cant have known this, so dont worry) it was about this story my mum told me when we were walking down the street; she said that there was this guy who went around every summer cutting down a particular flower (agapanthus) all along his street before they could bloom. Really bizarre. It was on the news, and I thought...weirdo! So I had to write it into a poem. And I figured, what would make him do that? The answer is in the poem.
Got a poem or short story you want me to critique?

There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it. (C D Morley)



clpck
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